I feel like I need to accelerate my consciousness. For this reason, I wanna commit ego suicide. A slow suicide involving small changes to each of my personality traits to design and become a new me.
Not a "new" me, but rather an alteration... Think of it like this.
You can take a piece of clay and make different objects from the same lump of clay. You can make many different alterations and shapes, but it is still the same clay... That clay is our soul.
There's the science of neuroplacisity... thoughts affect the brain. How do thoughts affect the brain. Isn't the brain basically the source of thoughts? IF so.. how is the brain capable of changing itself. Because the "self" and the brain are different. They affect one another. Your brain releases chemicals that affect thought, but thoughts can create changes within the brain. The self is immaterial, while the brain is material.
Brains have no value, but spirits do.
Only spiritual things have value. We are spiritual things, therefore we have value. Nothing outside of our minds contains value. There is no value in matter. There is no value in physical objects, just the value that man places on them. Our "inner man" is everything that means anything. Therefore, one cannot possibly insult themselves and be wrong. Unless you make an insulting statement towards yourself contradicting physical matter. Like if you have two arms but insult yourself for having one arm. However, all feelings you have towards yourself are correct. The level of value that your individual self has is subjective and determined by you.
So... How to have value? Simply believe you have value... And believe that your very existence gives you value... Do not believe that your value is the result of those around you. Your friends and family do not determine the value of your existence. IF you believe you have value, then you should believe your life would have equal value if all your loved ones were to die.
Why is material devoid of value? Simple... Can a rock determine that it has value? No, therefore a rock has no value inherently.
Now, believing one has value is much easier if one is happy... but how does one who is unhappy with themselves like themselves? By being a different person. Three things need to be changed and altered.
1. Ego... The ego is ones self. Free will is the ego. Your free will is not a product of your "self" it is your "self". Free will is not created by thoughts, they are thoughts.
2. Id... Ones carnal desires. Human nature basically... The Id is both spiritual and physical. The id is your brain structure, but also part of your ego. Thought patterns that come naturally are the spiritual id... however, brain structure is the physical id.
3. Super ego... Your conscience. Your innate views of right and wrong as well as socially constructed ones.
Now... all you have to do is make these three agree. Your spiritual "id" can be altered. Neuroplasticity reveals that so can your physical id. The physical id can be altered and changed to a lesser extent. And the ego and super ego can affect it. I believe in what I call the "dark figure" of the brain. Meaning many things about it are, and forever will be, unknowable. Meaning changes in brain structure are inconsistent among people, and impossible to determine limits for human beings as a collective. Your ego can also change your super ego. People change beliefs all the time, it's part of the human experience.
Technically, there is only the ego... it's a trinity basically. However, unlike the biblical trinity, this trinity has the tendency to contradict itself... people have desires they believe are immoral, people have beliefs that deny their carnal desires...
This is where I believe spiritual conditioning comes in... Religion has unintentionally discovered our souls can change, and through faith and spiritual exercise (prayer meditation psychedelics etc.), we can tap into our selves more... Religion, in some cases, is a tool to bring one closer to ones self. That's where the supernatural is... We are the supernatural. We can change and become someone we can love.
The secret is not to love ones self, but become worthy of ones own love.