telepathetic
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2010
- Messages
- 2,287
So, everyone, y'all probably all read my other posts (or if you didn't, might look at my other posts) and in a couple of them I'm posting freaked out thinking I'm dying. I'm finally coming out of that shell (still a bit worried because almost all my lymph nodes are palpable and I've got some pretty strong backpain), but I'm starting to believe that I just caused myself some anxiety from overusing 4-MMC (alot, two 5g binges, and then a couple methylone/meph/butylone combinations, yes stupid.). I also think something that may have added to it is going a bit far into the psychedelic realm while at a young age, I think my brain is developing a bit suddenly and my brain is confused. Suddenly, I feel myself in a wierd sort of haze, hard to talk to people, hard to understand what others are saying, anxiety, mood swings, uncomfortable body feelings. I've tried to take a couple drugs while in this (after a couple months of a break and it not helping very much), mainly mushrooms, which ended in me desperatly swallowing benzos and then yelling at a bunch of people to get out of my car (at a festival-- not like myself at all), 2c-i which made it extremely hard to socialize (the opposite of what it used to do to me, mdma once (stupidly, now that I think back, which made my heart go 150bpm and my bp spike really high), an opiate which I didn't enjoy because it made it harder to want to socialize. I havn't smoked pot in nearly a year or so, but the past week I've smoked a couple times because it helped me to finally get over my thinking I am dying-- and also helped me socialize. I've stopped that also because I don't want to make this situation worse. Before anyone recommends a drug break, I did that and it helped a bit, but yeah.
I dunno, am I just growing up? Just a chemical imbalance that will fix itself? Permenant brain damage from research chems? The thinking I have a disease is pretty much out of my head after doing a 4 week regimen on Sam-E, 5-htp, st johns wort, and GABA, which I stopped a week ago, though as I said some things still concern me, even though the doctor says not to worry about it.
Should I start taking nootropics, just let it be, or what?
I post this in PD because I feel like having the psychedelic mindstate at such a young age and then my brain growing contributes to this alot, and also because I feel others here may be able to relate more, If its out of place mods can feel free to move it.
I dunno, am I just growing up? Just a chemical imbalance that will fix itself? Permenant brain damage from research chems? The thinking I have a disease is pretty much out of my head after doing a 4 week regimen on Sam-E, 5-htp, st johns wort, and GABA, which I stopped a week ago, though as I said some things still concern me, even though the doctor says not to worry about it.
Should I start taking nootropics, just let it be, or what?
I post this in PD because I feel like having the psychedelic mindstate at such a young age and then my brain growing contributes to this alot, and also because I feel others here may be able to relate more, If its out of place mods can feel free to move it.