Don Luigi
Bluelight Crew
This trip happened back in late November. I have been planning to write up a report since then but I couldn't be bothered because I had written one the week before after a previous trip but this trip would be my first and only completely spiritual experience. I had thought previous trips to be spiritual but I realised they were nowhere near spiritual after this one. For your convenience I will add a marker if you wish to skip the boring lead up to taking the shrooms 
It was a Sunday night and I was out with some friends for a drink. I bought a bottle of Buckfast and from the first the first sip I realised that I was most definatley not in a drinking mood. Luckily for me my friend rang me up to ask if I wanted to do some mushrooms. I didn't quite know if I was in the mood for that either since it had only been a week since my last trip. Nevertheless I agreed to meet him.
I met him at his house and we ordered a taxi to my house so that we would be in a warm, safe place. When we arrived at my house, he pulled out a blue plastic bag and I began to inspect the pickings. I don't know the weight or number of Liberty Caps in the bag. The previous times I had taken mushrooms it was almost always a dose shared between 3 people each time. I put the mushrooms in my kettle, added about two cups of water and pushed on the button whilst stirring the stewing mushrooms.
After it had boiled I left the mushrooms to stew for about 30 minutes whilst we laughed at a Madonna concert on T.V where she kept pointing to her vagina. When I turned my attention back to the mushrooms I pushed to button on the kettle one more time to make it nice and hot.
<(FOREMENTIONED MARKER)>
We both quickly drank our cup and played guitar while we waited and we didn't have to wait too long. I started to come up within 10 minutes and the visuals began on my friends shirt, which is essentially a womans patterned shirt. At this point we both began to regret taking the shrooms. It was the come up anxiety with the shaking and everything else one might expect.
I thought I should put on some music to try and calm us both down because all we could talk about was how we should never have taken them and this was only 5minutes in to the trip. My room was very messy, food wrappers, clothes, guitar leads and such covering the floor. I stood up and walked over towards my amplifiers where my PSP was sitting. I was so anxious and just knew a bad trip was coming. The rubbish all over the floor was sprawling everywhere, there was too much visual stimulation anywhere I looked and whilst over at the amplifiers the blackness from them seemed to grow out and consume my whole sight, I couldn't think straight but managed to get the music on the speakers. I set it to howling wolf and returned to my bed.
Me and my friend both agreed that it was far too much and that we should attempt to sleep. We jumped in opposite ends of the bed, lay down and closed our eyes. As soon as I closed my eyes, I had to open them again as I was reminded how there is a whole different universe when I close my eyes on mushrooms. Then I remembered that on pervious trips I had wanted to explore this universe further but I couldn't due to the social circumstances I was in but this most definatley was not a social circumstance.
If you read my previous mushrooms trip report you will know that I see a kind of computer mesh world without the textures whenever I close my eyes on mushrooms, well there it was once again ready for me to explore, or rather it to explore me. It started off with that kitchen like place place I had briefly glimpsed in my last trip and soon the people came offering me gifts and such. I soon became comfortable with this world as they 'broke me in' to it.
Once my few 'Howlin' Wolf' songs had finished playing, on came the first of my Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel songs, just as I was initiated in to this world, it was as though I had just been born in this new world and now I had to learn everything from scratch. The song 'America' came on and from then on everything just flowed in the most beautiful wonderful euphoric bliss I had ever experienced. I felt a cosmic glow radiate from me and this entwined itself with this new world being presented to me. There were many faceless people in this world(as there were no textures, only mesh), even though they were faceless I knew they were smiling with smiles of love and acceptance. They were all like one big never ending family and they were doing a strangely wonderful dance, almost mime-esque. In this world I was at the centre of it with everyone presenting what they had to offer and preforming around me. It wasn't so much a world as one room but the room was infinite and everything was joined to everything else.
I stayed fixed to the one spot the whole time, in the same room but either I was spinning very slowly clockwise or the room was but I would never return to the same point, it was like rotating through more than 360 degrees very very slowly. There was always something new to look at, if something caught my eye I would look at it and be entranced by it and it would show me everything it could do, every possibility, it was brilliant. I didn't get in to any in depth thought. I couldn't think of anything past the point of 'this is so amazing, I feel so good'. When I tried to visualise people I know in life I couldn't. I thought about my family and friends, I could say their names but I could not for the life of me visualise them.
In this world there were no bright colours except the odd burst of colour eminating from someone. Eveything was mesh filled in with a sort of computerised grey with no texture.
Time got on and all the Simon and Garfunkel on my playlist was coming to a close. I had been happily encompased by this rather plain, linear world with almost no colour. Only people,objects and shapes with other people,objects and shapes coming out of it. The people rushing around as if they were trying to impress me but not in an arrogant way, in a big smile way, a love way, a respectful gentle way. When 'Scarbourugh Fair' began to play I was still laying there with my eyes closed, in this perfect utopia although I was unaware that it was not reality, unaware that my eyes were closed. Then about halfway through the song I heard a familiar voice..It was my friend, he said 'Man, I thought I hated this song but it is fucking brilliant'. I did not dare open my eyes lest my bliss be ended, I simply let out a sound to acknowldge I could hear him.
Hearing his voice reminded me that there was a world beyond what I was seeing with my eyes closed, a very different world indeed. I then began to reflect on myself and this is when I first began to see alot of colours in my new world. I thought about how I hadn't had a smoke since I took the mushrooms, then I began to think about how much I depend on my cheap imported cigarettes. At this point, I rotated through to the next part of the room/world. And here, where the textures had been missing before, it was covered by the cover of my cigarette packet, just laid down everywhere on the mesh except it was in some foreign characters and language.
I then remembered that before the trip I had brought a bottle of lucozade to my room that I hadn't touched and something emerged from the ground, it was a cuboid and it was textured with the lucozade logo and colours only in a different language with different characters I had never seen before.
The next song was 'The Boxer' and it played whilst the same general linear things went on in this world, such a plain yet perfect world. The final song on the Simon and Garfunkel playlist was 'The Only Living Boy In New York'. This is when I felt as though something was coming to an end and that something new was about to begin. Throughout the song, all the memorable things I had seen from the beginning of me entering this world until this point began to reappear and build up and I was no longer rotating anymore. All the entities and people that had been perfroming and presenting to me throughout my journey began to appear and build up. It was like a big family photograph with hundreds of beings. It was the most euphoric feeling I had ever had.
It was nearing the end of the song and for those familiar with the song, there is a chanting as it nears the end. All the entites were waving at me as if to say good bye, as if to say 'Please come back soon'. I sensed that I was about to leave and I said to myself 'Please, no I want to stay like this forever, please'. I said this just at the end of the song where they chant 'Here I am'. Right at this point I felt more pleasure,positive emotion and love than I ever thought possible in life or from any drug and then a star appeared and the space around it became engulfed in blackness, the star got smaller and smaller and I thought that I was dying, I could feel my heart shutting down. I began to panic and said to myself 'No No, I take it back I don't want to stay like this forever'. After saying this to myself, my heart began to pick up pace again, and began beating very fast and the star enlarged again and the light returned and I was back with all the people and entites but now the mood had changed dramatically, I got a feeling from them that said 'You should not still be here' and they had stopped performing, they all just stood there looking at me.
All of a sudden I heard a knock and felt a vibration. I heard my friend say 'Scott man, are you cool?' I opened my eyes for the first time in about two hours and said 'is that you?' and he said yes. He asked me how I felt and I said 'I feel beautiful, this is the most amazing thing I have ever experienced in my life' He too had been doing his own thing but I think he wanted company now. He asked me if it was alright if he put on some Muse. I said of course and then said 'I don't mean to be rude man but could you please leave me alone?' He laughed and said alright.
I took this opportunity to have a glimpse at what was going on in the normal world. It was as if I was looking through a broken mirror, I had never had visuals this intense before. I looked at the ground and there were jets of hot air rising from all around the room, just like when you see the heat rising off the road on a hot day but in this case the roads would be the heat of the sun and it completley surrounded everything.
I then remembered what I had been doing since the beginning for the trip and wanted to return there. I lay down and closed my eyes again and something began to forum up. This time, it was Muse and not Simon and Garfunkel, it was a very different world. There was so much more detail and whereas there was very little colour in my previous world, this world didn't have a spot without colour. The music was so much more intense and I was filled with a new, much different euphoria. Muse was a far cry from the humleness of the previous artist. Everything seemed so much more desperate, seedy and violent but that's not to say it was not absolutley amazing.
It felt like a much sexier world, all the new people I seen as I rotated seemed to be so full of passion, they weren't performing for me but for themselves, for their own pleasure. It was like being at a house full of nice kind mormans and then suddenly finding myself at a rave with pole dancers (not literally of course).
In the world I was previously, there were many people in the same scene, all friendly and together with each other to help present me with things and convince me. In the previous world, it was as if they were asking me what I thought like someone proudly showing you their new born child, in this world it was as if they were telling me what I thought but it was so much more complex, every new degree I rotated through showed something so much more different than the last, the pleasure I got was too much. I was no longer crying with joy like I had been in the old world. I found myself touchinh myself all over because it felt so good, whereas before I did not even move my body.
When 'Stockhold Syndrome' was playing, this is my most clear memory of this world. It felt like some cosmic struggle to reach something and I didn't know what it was or even if I really wanted it, but I kept going anyway. The words 'This is the last time we'll abandon you..' felt like I was going uphill but filled with such a seedy pleasure. In the previous world I did have to think but in this world I could not stop thinking, the specifics of my thoughts I can't remember very well. In the previous plain, linear world I could remember thinking beautiful things and the people had smiles that I could not see, warm loving smiles. But I could very clearly see the faces of the beings in this world and it was a message more akin to 'Oh yeah baby, look at me, yeah'.
My thoughts became corrupted after an hour or so in this world whilst 'Feeling Good' was playing. I thought to myself 'I could use this world to see visuals of things that would satisfy me in the real world. I began to think of sexual things and sexual images would follow but they were tainted soemhow, I couldn't put my finger on it thought. But as more sexual things happened it became clear what was tainting them - evil! When I came to this realisation the evil showed itself in steryotypical demon like creatures which had the other beings bound, the other beings were helpless. It was a bit scary and the euphoria quickly drained itself and then the rotating stopped like it had in the previous world when they waved to say goodbye.
The beings from the previous plain, linear straightforward world returned, the same group that had waved and beside them was the woman that the 'demon' had bound. The beings from the previous world were on the left, the 'demon' on the right. The 'demon' with a face that said 'Oh yeah, look at me' and the beings from the plain world were emitting a positive glow of warmth, love and happiness. It was as if I had to choose between them.
In my mind I was trying to usher one of them on to show me more but it just stayed there until the plain beings almost began to plead. They both faded slowly and then all I could see were geometric shapes which seemed so dull and boring, not even worth looking at, typical pshychedellic imagery. I opened my eyes and just said to my friend 'well that was amazing'.
He was watching T.V and I just sat there, not being able to stop thinking. I had to put what I'd just been shown into perspective whilst smoking a joint. I came to the conclusion that the plain, linear yet amazing world represented Good and the more exciting, pleasureable, intense and visually spectacular world represented bad. I now had to apply this to the world we live in and after some thought I came up with this:
If one chooses to live a 'good', honest,selfless,life where it may be a bit dull and repetative and perhaps may even cause you hardship at times,at the end you get a big climax of pleasure and well being which is good considering you have had a good life on the whole anyway.
If one chooses to live a 'bad' life where they use other people for their own gain, are selfish and generally just don't give a fuck it may be brilliant, full of earthly pleasures, at the end it is an anti-climax, there is no big release of pleasure or anything like that.
I believe that I was shown both worlds, I was given the chance to see both worlds and make a decision. This fried up my head considerably for weeks after the trip as I couldn't stop thinking about it and I was trying to be as selfless and as loving towards people as I could.
That night after working out what I had been shown, I closed my eyes and tried to return to that final scene where I was presented with both worlds but to no avail. I wanted to return to the final scene to infrom them of my decision to choose the first world. Something inside me hoped that I could make a decision then and it would be like some spiritual intervention and the rest of my life would be guided in the path of good.
The OEV's continued for about another hour after I figured this out and slowly began to fade away but they did not really interest me. They were not even a fraction as intense as when I had briefly opened my eyes before. I just watched some DVD's and smoked a few joints until I could get to sleep. I just couldn't stop thinking about it. When the visuals were no longer present I wished I hadn't neglected the final reminents of my trip by watching DVD's but I could make a short burst of visuals happen if closed my eyes really tight and then opened them.
I am still pondering wether I should trip again and visit that world but part of me just thinks there isn't anything else they can show me, Its up to me to choose how I live and they were only there for guidance, they weren't my saviours or anything.
This trip completley changed my views on everything. Before it I was a staunch Atheist and afterwards I believed in a 'God'. No specific god whatsoever but simply just one God. I suppose I became a ambiguous monotheist after the trip . Perhaps one day I will find that God or maybe I'm not supposed to, perhaps I interpreted it all wrong and need more information or perhaps it really was all just a trip, in my mind, meaningless. Whatever it was, it felt like I never imagined anything could feel.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, it makes it worthwhile writing it out..Once again thank you very much
It was a Sunday night and I was out with some friends for a drink. I bought a bottle of Buckfast and from the first the first sip I realised that I was most definatley not in a drinking mood. Luckily for me my friend rang me up to ask if I wanted to do some mushrooms. I didn't quite know if I was in the mood for that either since it had only been a week since my last trip. Nevertheless I agreed to meet him.
I met him at his house and we ordered a taxi to my house so that we would be in a warm, safe place. When we arrived at my house, he pulled out a blue plastic bag and I began to inspect the pickings. I don't know the weight or number of Liberty Caps in the bag. The previous times I had taken mushrooms it was almost always a dose shared between 3 people each time. I put the mushrooms in my kettle, added about two cups of water and pushed on the button whilst stirring the stewing mushrooms.
After it had boiled I left the mushrooms to stew for about 30 minutes whilst we laughed at a Madonna concert on T.V where she kept pointing to her vagina. When I turned my attention back to the mushrooms I pushed to button on the kettle one more time to make it nice and hot.
<(FOREMENTIONED MARKER)>
We both quickly drank our cup and played guitar while we waited and we didn't have to wait too long. I started to come up within 10 minutes and the visuals began on my friends shirt, which is essentially a womans patterned shirt. At this point we both began to regret taking the shrooms. It was the come up anxiety with the shaking and everything else one might expect.
I thought I should put on some music to try and calm us both down because all we could talk about was how we should never have taken them and this was only 5minutes in to the trip. My room was very messy, food wrappers, clothes, guitar leads and such covering the floor. I stood up and walked over towards my amplifiers where my PSP was sitting. I was so anxious and just knew a bad trip was coming. The rubbish all over the floor was sprawling everywhere, there was too much visual stimulation anywhere I looked and whilst over at the amplifiers the blackness from them seemed to grow out and consume my whole sight, I couldn't think straight but managed to get the music on the speakers. I set it to howling wolf and returned to my bed.
Me and my friend both agreed that it was far too much and that we should attempt to sleep. We jumped in opposite ends of the bed, lay down and closed our eyes. As soon as I closed my eyes, I had to open them again as I was reminded how there is a whole different universe when I close my eyes on mushrooms. Then I remembered that on pervious trips I had wanted to explore this universe further but I couldn't due to the social circumstances I was in but this most definatley was not a social circumstance.
If you read my previous mushrooms trip report you will know that I see a kind of computer mesh world without the textures whenever I close my eyes on mushrooms, well there it was once again ready for me to explore, or rather it to explore me. It started off with that kitchen like place place I had briefly glimpsed in my last trip and soon the people came offering me gifts and such. I soon became comfortable with this world as they 'broke me in' to it.
Once my few 'Howlin' Wolf' songs had finished playing, on came the first of my Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel songs, just as I was initiated in to this world, it was as though I had just been born in this new world and now I had to learn everything from scratch. The song 'America' came on and from then on everything just flowed in the most beautiful wonderful euphoric bliss I had ever experienced. I felt a cosmic glow radiate from me and this entwined itself with this new world being presented to me. There were many faceless people in this world(as there were no textures, only mesh), even though they were faceless I knew they were smiling with smiles of love and acceptance. They were all like one big never ending family and they were doing a strangely wonderful dance, almost mime-esque. In this world I was at the centre of it with everyone presenting what they had to offer and preforming around me. It wasn't so much a world as one room but the room was infinite and everything was joined to everything else.
I stayed fixed to the one spot the whole time, in the same room but either I was spinning very slowly clockwise or the room was but I would never return to the same point, it was like rotating through more than 360 degrees very very slowly. There was always something new to look at, if something caught my eye I would look at it and be entranced by it and it would show me everything it could do, every possibility, it was brilliant. I didn't get in to any in depth thought. I couldn't think of anything past the point of 'this is so amazing, I feel so good'. When I tried to visualise people I know in life I couldn't. I thought about my family and friends, I could say their names but I could not for the life of me visualise them.
In this world there were no bright colours except the odd burst of colour eminating from someone. Eveything was mesh filled in with a sort of computerised grey with no texture.
Time got on and all the Simon and Garfunkel on my playlist was coming to a close. I had been happily encompased by this rather plain, linear world with almost no colour. Only people,objects and shapes with other people,objects and shapes coming out of it. The people rushing around as if they were trying to impress me but not in an arrogant way, in a big smile way, a love way, a respectful gentle way. When 'Scarbourugh Fair' began to play I was still laying there with my eyes closed, in this perfect utopia although I was unaware that it was not reality, unaware that my eyes were closed. Then about halfway through the song I heard a familiar voice..It was my friend, he said 'Man, I thought I hated this song but it is fucking brilliant'. I did not dare open my eyes lest my bliss be ended, I simply let out a sound to acknowldge I could hear him.
Hearing his voice reminded me that there was a world beyond what I was seeing with my eyes closed, a very different world indeed. I then began to reflect on myself and this is when I first began to see alot of colours in my new world. I thought about how I hadn't had a smoke since I took the mushrooms, then I began to think about how much I depend on my cheap imported cigarettes. At this point, I rotated through to the next part of the room/world. And here, where the textures had been missing before, it was covered by the cover of my cigarette packet, just laid down everywhere on the mesh except it was in some foreign characters and language.
I then remembered that before the trip I had brought a bottle of lucozade to my room that I hadn't touched and something emerged from the ground, it was a cuboid and it was textured with the lucozade logo and colours only in a different language with different characters I had never seen before.
The next song was 'The Boxer' and it played whilst the same general linear things went on in this world, such a plain yet perfect world. The final song on the Simon and Garfunkel playlist was 'The Only Living Boy In New York'. This is when I felt as though something was coming to an end and that something new was about to begin. Throughout the song, all the memorable things I had seen from the beginning of me entering this world until this point began to reappear and build up and I was no longer rotating anymore. All the entities and people that had been perfroming and presenting to me throughout my journey began to appear and build up. It was like a big family photograph with hundreds of beings. It was the most euphoric feeling I had ever had.
It was nearing the end of the song and for those familiar with the song, there is a chanting as it nears the end. All the entites were waving at me as if to say good bye, as if to say 'Please come back soon'. I sensed that I was about to leave and I said to myself 'Please, no I want to stay like this forever, please'. I said this just at the end of the song where they chant 'Here I am'. Right at this point I felt more pleasure,positive emotion and love than I ever thought possible in life or from any drug and then a star appeared and the space around it became engulfed in blackness, the star got smaller and smaller and I thought that I was dying, I could feel my heart shutting down. I began to panic and said to myself 'No No, I take it back I don't want to stay like this forever'. After saying this to myself, my heart began to pick up pace again, and began beating very fast and the star enlarged again and the light returned and I was back with all the people and entites but now the mood had changed dramatically, I got a feeling from them that said 'You should not still be here' and they had stopped performing, they all just stood there looking at me.
All of a sudden I heard a knock and felt a vibration. I heard my friend say 'Scott man, are you cool?' I opened my eyes for the first time in about two hours and said 'is that you?' and he said yes. He asked me how I felt and I said 'I feel beautiful, this is the most amazing thing I have ever experienced in my life' He too had been doing his own thing but I think he wanted company now. He asked me if it was alright if he put on some Muse. I said of course and then said 'I don't mean to be rude man but could you please leave me alone?' He laughed and said alright.
I took this opportunity to have a glimpse at what was going on in the normal world. It was as if I was looking through a broken mirror, I had never had visuals this intense before. I looked at the ground and there were jets of hot air rising from all around the room, just like when you see the heat rising off the road on a hot day but in this case the roads would be the heat of the sun and it completley surrounded everything.
I then remembered what I had been doing since the beginning for the trip and wanted to return there. I lay down and closed my eyes again and something began to forum up. This time, it was Muse and not Simon and Garfunkel, it was a very different world. There was so much more detail and whereas there was very little colour in my previous world, this world didn't have a spot without colour. The music was so much more intense and I was filled with a new, much different euphoria. Muse was a far cry from the humleness of the previous artist. Everything seemed so much more desperate, seedy and violent but that's not to say it was not absolutley amazing.
It felt like a much sexier world, all the new people I seen as I rotated seemed to be so full of passion, they weren't performing for me but for themselves, for their own pleasure. It was like being at a house full of nice kind mormans and then suddenly finding myself at a rave with pole dancers (not literally of course).
In the world I was previously, there were many people in the same scene, all friendly and together with each other to help present me with things and convince me. In the previous world, it was as if they were asking me what I thought like someone proudly showing you their new born child, in this world it was as if they were telling me what I thought but it was so much more complex, every new degree I rotated through showed something so much more different than the last, the pleasure I got was too much. I was no longer crying with joy like I had been in the old world. I found myself touchinh myself all over because it felt so good, whereas before I did not even move my body.
When 'Stockhold Syndrome' was playing, this is my most clear memory of this world. It felt like some cosmic struggle to reach something and I didn't know what it was or even if I really wanted it, but I kept going anyway. The words 'This is the last time we'll abandon you..' felt like I was going uphill but filled with such a seedy pleasure. In the previous world I did have to think but in this world I could not stop thinking, the specifics of my thoughts I can't remember very well. In the previous plain, linear world I could remember thinking beautiful things and the people had smiles that I could not see, warm loving smiles. But I could very clearly see the faces of the beings in this world and it was a message more akin to 'Oh yeah baby, look at me, yeah'.
My thoughts became corrupted after an hour or so in this world whilst 'Feeling Good' was playing. I thought to myself 'I could use this world to see visuals of things that would satisfy me in the real world. I began to think of sexual things and sexual images would follow but they were tainted soemhow, I couldn't put my finger on it thought. But as more sexual things happened it became clear what was tainting them - evil! When I came to this realisation the evil showed itself in steryotypical demon like creatures which had the other beings bound, the other beings were helpless. It was a bit scary and the euphoria quickly drained itself and then the rotating stopped like it had in the previous world when they waved to say goodbye.
The beings from the previous plain, linear straightforward world returned, the same group that had waved and beside them was the woman that the 'demon' had bound. The beings from the previous world were on the left, the 'demon' on the right. The 'demon' with a face that said 'Oh yeah, look at me' and the beings from the plain world were emitting a positive glow of warmth, love and happiness. It was as if I had to choose between them.
In my mind I was trying to usher one of them on to show me more but it just stayed there until the plain beings almost began to plead. They both faded slowly and then all I could see were geometric shapes which seemed so dull and boring, not even worth looking at, typical pshychedellic imagery. I opened my eyes and just said to my friend 'well that was amazing'.
He was watching T.V and I just sat there, not being able to stop thinking. I had to put what I'd just been shown into perspective whilst smoking a joint. I came to the conclusion that the plain, linear yet amazing world represented Good and the more exciting, pleasureable, intense and visually spectacular world represented bad. I now had to apply this to the world we live in and after some thought I came up with this:
If one chooses to live a 'good', honest,selfless,life where it may be a bit dull and repetative and perhaps may even cause you hardship at times,at the end you get a big climax of pleasure and well being which is good considering you have had a good life on the whole anyway.
If one chooses to live a 'bad' life where they use other people for their own gain, are selfish and generally just don't give a fuck it may be brilliant, full of earthly pleasures, at the end it is an anti-climax, there is no big release of pleasure or anything like that.
I believe that I was shown both worlds, I was given the chance to see both worlds and make a decision. This fried up my head considerably for weeks after the trip as I couldn't stop thinking about it and I was trying to be as selfless and as loving towards people as I could.
That night after working out what I had been shown, I closed my eyes and tried to return to that final scene where I was presented with both worlds but to no avail. I wanted to return to the final scene to infrom them of my decision to choose the first world. Something inside me hoped that I could make a decision then and it would be like some spiritual intervention and the rest of my life would be guided in the path of good.
The OEV's continued for about another hour after I figured this out and slowly began to fade away but they did not really interest me. They were not even a fraction as intense as when I had briefly opened my eyes before. I just watched some DVD's and smoked a few joints until I could get to sleep. I just couldn't stop thinking about it. When the visuals were no longer present I wished I hadn't neglected the final reminents of my trip by watching DVD's but I could make a short burst of visuals happen if closed my eyes really tight and then opened them.
I am still pondering wether I should trip again and visit that world but part of me just thinks there isn't anything else they can show me, Its up to me to choose how I live and they were only there for guidance, they weren't my saviours or anything.
This trip completley changed my views on everything. Before it I was a staunch Atheist and afterwards I believed in a 'God'. No specific god whatsoever but simply just one God. I suppose I became a ambiguous monotheist after the trip . Perhaps one day I will find that God or maybe I'm not supposed to, perhaps I interpreted it all wrong and need more information or perhaps it really was all just a trip, in my mind, meaningless. Whatever it was, it felt like I never imagined anything could feel.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, it makes it worthwhile writing it out..Once again thank you very much
Last edited:
