provigil - 1st time - hallucinations and panic

[dongle]

i have been having problems with chronic fatigue syndrome. since an aetiology has not yet been found, i was given provigil by a psychiatrist to aid in getting a regular life back.

outline:
- took 100mg orally at 1500, 03 feb 06, after a hearty meal
- no perceived effect, still drowsy, still cloudy
- around 0145 04 feb 06, unable to sleep. developing panic, hallucinations, fear, confusion, bizarre thought patterns, ana-chronistic memories, nausea, dizziness....
- 0300 able to be calm in a lit room, perform simple tasks like eating and baking
- 0400 in the dark with no stimulus bizarre thoughts persist. heart rate 50% above normal. unable to sleep
- 0500 heart slowing, still unable to sleep, mentally around 'baseline' (ie, before drug was ingested) but rather scattered

found that the drug offered no benefits. hesistant to try again.

details on the "interesting" part - 1:45 to 3:00
lying in the dark, trying to go to sleep, my limbs occasionally twitched uncontrollably. i saw the ceiling slowly lowering and a geometric entity was coming out of the ceiling. my computer turned on and was somehow menacing to me. as i looked around the room, i found that my memories of different parts of the room were from different years. for example, i could look at my work area with the expectation of seeing a desk and a little chair that i used to use in elementary school, then look at a different part with the memory of how it was in high school, etc. i became convinced that i had a brain tumor and had vivid "dreams" (i was awake) of hospitalization. burn victims, flayed animals, and other monstrosities presented themselves. i then felt like i was having a nightmare where my cats and grandparents were dead, only to realize that they actually are dead and that the nightmare was real (not just the provigil delusion) i started to panic and breathe heavily. had some visual distortions as i turned on the light to my room. decided to go to the well-lit kitchen and eat some food to try to come down. about 500 calories and an hour later and i was calm, even though my thoughts were still bizarre and morbid. baked, ate some more, tried to sleep, found that closing my eyes in the dark was a bit terrifying still, decided to stay up and browse the internet to keep contact with "reality".

i felt that the negative time was like a bad trip, just without time dilation or any philosophical/psychological insights. that is, disjointed, rushing, paranoid/anxious thoughts and fears in a bizarre alternate-universe (that sounds spacier than i mean it to. i guess i mean that there are elements of reality just perceived differently. that is, it isn't like getting blown out of this world by salvia, though it is about as terrifying).

sorry if this is jumbled, i'm not back to normal yet. i must say that my reaction to the drug is not 'normal'. i'm not "angry" at the drug, it is apparent that it is not an ally and i must search elsewhere for help with CFS. i still think it is worth trying if your doctor feels it can help you, but if you have a bad reaction maybe you can read this report and feel better since the worst part of my bad reaction didn't last all that long.

 

[Ghettotastic_bong]

I've taken this drug before, and have certaintly experienced a lot of anxiety from it, but i've never heard of any report quite like yours. Perhaps you have some uncommon gene which prevents the drug from being properly metabolised, or turns it into another product entirely? (to indulge in wild speculation)

Honestly, it sounds like an extensive panic attack with a lot of psychosomatic symptoms to me. Anxiety disorders can be remarkably bizzare in the way you described. Still, i'm sorry you had such an experience though, it certaintly sounds like hell.

 

[Psilo707]

Damn those are some bad effects, I would stay away from that substance if i were you. Ive had friends that have taken Provigil for lengthy periods of time and havent heard of any reports like that before

 

[dongle]

yeah, i agree that the hallucinations were psychosomatic since they did not manifest in the light. after more time and some sleep i can see that i was sort of a laughable freaked out mess earlier today.

i'm normally not an anxious, excitable person. i'm pretty disappointed since the next step is wellbutrin and, though i'm depressed, i don't want to alter my mood, just get more energy and a clear mind again.

well, given that anxiety, dizziness, and nausea are listed as common side effects of the drug i think i'm going to discontinue use and call my psych.

Honestly, it sounds like an extensive panic attack with a lot of psychosomatic symptoms to me. Anxiety disorders can be remarkably bizzare in the way you described. Still, i'm sorry you had such an experience though, it certaintly sounds like hell.

 

[Dondante]

I have had some experience with Provigil. I heard about it in a psychology class, where I learned that it was being tested as an amphetamine replacement to keep special forces units awake for something like 48+ hours. I thought it sounded interesting so I got some, and tried it out. I was pretty unimpressed by my first trials of taking 100mg or 200 mg upon waking up. It felt kinda like caffine, but I didn't enjoy it too much. Coffee felt much more natural.

So, I brought it with me to Europe, thinking that I might have use for the energy booster at some point. I was backpacking with some buddies for two months. After spending a night in Pamplona, at the Running of the Bulls festival, which was some crazy shit I might add, I was exhausted. I didn't really sleep at all. The few hours of attemped sleep were outdoors just on the ground. So around noon the next day I had the great idea to take 500 mg modafinil to get me ready for another day of celebrating San Fermin. Anyway, we had a change of plans and ended up leaving the festival that afternoon and going to Bilbao because everyone else was pretty exhausted and our plane flight home was in two days. I was fully awake and feeling pretty good for most of the day. At this point I was really glad I'd brought the Provigil.

Around 10:00 p.m. the sun went down on the beach, where we planned on sleeping in our sleeping bags. Still fully awake. The other two passed out around midnight. Still 100% awake. Didn't mind, it was a very clear night and I was enjoying just staring up into the sky. After midnight I started thinking I heard people on the other end of the beach. What started as mild audile hallucinations, became full blown hallucinations, as I looked at the waves coming in and was seeing giant beasts walking out of the water. I could convince myself it wasn't real, but it was disturbing nonetheless. Things didn't really change until the sun came up. What a night! I still wasn't tired though.

The next night I went to sleep finally after about 60 hrs with only about 2 hours of sleep. Don't mess around with Provigil. Well, at least don't take 500 mg. It wasn't a terrible experience, but I had absolutely no desire to ever repeat it. The Europe experience, on the other hand ... I wish I could repeat it.