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Promote *here* your drug

crystal meth...it keeps you going and going and going and going and going and going and going...
 
Do you wake up feeling way too refreshed? Want to pawn everything you own, steal from relatives and loved ones just for a minutes of bliss...?
Sick and tired of looking so damn healthy all the time...? Tired of thinking about normal things like work and relationships? Want a one track mind that goes "crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack" all the time...? In the mood to push ALL your dignity aside and become a Pro to support this habit...?

then yes, you thought correctly my dear... CRACK is the drug for you!!!

Tt turns everything you once loved and cherished into utter shit!!! its like magic almost!!!







*please note, lol i am being very sarcastic... * =D 8(

But... i WILL seriously promote speed!! =D

Speed... less headfucking than meth... a nice high, keeps u going and going all nite if dancing, ur never unsocial as your mouth is going 32897 miles per hour, and if your trying to lose weight then regain in the next week, then hell this is THE drug for you!

Speed... You'll love it ;) 8o =D
 
if you are like thousands of others; searching for the answer, then LSD is for you!
imagine knowing exactly how to fix everything and having all the answers!!!

we haven't identified the actual problem yet nor have we asked the all elusive question, but boy do we have your answer!! and so can you! right on the tips of your tongues!
Yes Ladies and Germs
LSD *IS* your answer!


research still in progress to find the question.
 
Do you have trouble concentrating at work or in school? Are you always worn out, tired, or just plain lazy? Does it seem like there’s just not enough time in the day? Are you really freaking fat? Don’t worry. There’s a solution out there, and it just so happens to be….EPHEDRINE DOPE! With this street pharmaceutical prescribed especially by me, Dr. K, heavy loads of work suddenly become simple everyday tasks, your job performance optimum, and all that stress you’ve been building up has suddenly disappeared! Ephedrine dope really works, by boosting efficiency, energy, confidence, and lifting one’s emotional and physical well being.

Ephedrine dope, its scientific name being dextro-methamphetamine, is a synthetic stimulant that works by causing dopamine and serotonin reuptake transporters to work in reverse and binding them to their receptors. This chemical promotes alertness, enhanced metabolism, accelerated heart rate, sexuality, as well as a euphoric mental and physical high, resulting in increased motivation and overall happiness. Because dopamine and serotonin are the two chemicals that regulate appetite and sleep, you may go for days without feeling the need to sleep or eat. And who needs sleep? You end up with an extra 5-12 hours everyday all to yourself, without feeling fatigued one bit! Pretty soon you’ll have people approaching you with statements like, “Wow, look at you, you’re busy as a bee. Where did you get all this energy?” And it can be your little secret (WOWZ!!!)! Who needs food, when anorexia is in nowadays? Nothing screams fashion and sex appeal quite like the look of famine and malnourishment. One customer wrote to me, “I’m sick and tired of being teased for my weight and called names like Fatty McBastard! I strive to achieve the perfection of beauty otherwise known as Crack Whore Model stardom of Hollywood.” No problem! With Dr. K’s synthetic remedy, you’ll realize that: “The more stuff you melt, the more the stuff melts off you!” You won’t eat, you won’t sleep, AND you’ll have the cleanest house on the street. What a lifesaver!

Many other “business entrepreneurs” will attempt to sell you cheap imitations of synthesized methamphetamines, such as caffeine, pseudo-ephedrine, and cocaine. But don’t be fooled, for these generic replacements are not the real deal. I would merely like to illustrate one point to you: George Bush was a cokehead. Therefore, it is safe to conclude that cocaine is for impotent pansies. On the other hand, Adolf Hitler was a meth-head. Granted, Hitler’s moral standing was certainly questionable, but studies have shown that he was mentally instable prior to meth use, thus he did not suffer from methamphetamine psychosis. Also consider the fact that John F. Kennedy IV’ed dextro-methamphetamine on a daily basis as well. With so many functional historic figures achieving success, ephedrine has GOT to be good for you! But hurry! Supplies are limited, so if you get a bulk order of 1 ounce or more, we’ll throw in an 8-ball, for free! And in spirit of 4/20, you’ll also receive a free lighter, a free mixing spoon, a free roll of aluminum foil, and a free straw! A 7 dollar value, all yours, if you rush deliver today!

Some people develop a tolerance to their prescription and may find it difficult to support their habit. But the obvious answer to make monetary ends meet is simply by whoring yourself out. And remember guys, with prostitution, it’s not just for women anymore! You see, with Dr. K’s two-step program, you first take the ephedrine dope to look good, and then use your looks to get the ephedrine dope. It’s genius! With the help of this prescription, it will heighten your sexuality, thus improving your performance in bed. If you’re afraid of shady hustlers, there’s no need to be. Ephedrine dope increases aggressiveness and obliterates the bounds of mental sanity, so nobody will take advantage of you! And aren’t you sick of people walking all over you? So what are you waiting for? Order today, it’s no coincidence that I’m giving you this offer on Hitler’s birthday. With ephedrine dope, making your life perfect will be as easy as using a light bulb! Ka-ching!

The very meaning for your existence is all in the power of the crystal ball. It’s like holding a little piece of heaven…So remember, when you’ve lost all reason to live, just go straight to the answer: Ephedrine dope.
 
there are some good ones in here. i would come up w/ something, but im not that creative.

ps. it would be great if CMB still posted in here.
 
Does weed make you feel like a downsyndrome baby?
Do bars and painkillers do anything besides make you sleepy?
Don't like looking prego by drinking too much alcohal, acting retarded, and then puking everywhere in front of your peers? Does the hangover the next day just KILL you? Don't feel like having impaired judgement and fucking a fat bitch?
Feel like all of these popular downers just aren't for you?

Stimulants/Uppers may be for you.

Smoke some ice, IV half a line of coke, and smoke a few crack rocks, then snort a few lines of that meth and coke.
The goodtimes are endless.
Uppers are where it's at.
That's how I spend my days.
:)
 
Always looking to beautiful girls at bars and clubs?

Always trying to start a conversation...
spend heaps of money on drinks for those girls...
but as always end alone at the end of it all, wanking yourself with internetporn?

Tired of this ritual?

Then GHB is your friend, just add something to the girl-in-question's drink and you won't spend this night alone...

If you want to go one step further and don't mind a VERY passive partner in your bed? then rohypnol is your friend too
 
^ Too true...Imagine if one day drugs were legalized and these were the actual advertisements...ONLY IN THE FUTURE!
 
Red Bull, you mean? ^^

Unless of course you just made up your -own- drug, which would be unique to this thread heh
 
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