is it bad that the advice i give to others is quite often advice im trying to give to myself? i sit and read some of my posts over and over, like im trying to convince myself to take the advice. theres another side of me berating the other useless fucking cunting pathetic part of me which refuses to let go, grow up and move the fuck on.
how can i know what to do, the best way to go about things, the best way to get what i want from things in life, and yet not do them? its like i want to fail, i want to do the wrong thing, listen to the stupid idiot voice of my heart. maybe it feels more like living rather than acting out in this indecent life play.
how can i know what to do, the best way to go about things, the best way to get what i want from things in life, and yet not do them? its like i want to fail, i want to do the wrong thing, listen to the stupid idiot voice of my heart. maybe it feels more like living rather than acting out in this indecent life play.
versd said:the ages from 15-20 are very formulative years of a persons life, and its amazing that you found someone to grow up with during that time.
its very unfortunate that it ended, and it must be very hurtful for her to have moved on so quickly. i know how hard it can be and how much of a reflection of yourself you can see in an ex's actions like that.
regarding moving on, if you havent found someone else, i believe that its very difficult to truly move on if you are a person prone to being lonely. i can relate to those sorts of feelings, and always when i get lonely, i always look back and remember that one special girl, where she is, and dream about what it would have been like if we had worked out. if things are going ok in life, i dont dwell too much on that sort of stuff, but whenever i get lonely, it seems i always default back to the last good person in my life.
you can get yourself quite worked up thinking about her and what shes doing now, especially if you were very good friends as well - soulmates even, and how always think about her, it must be hurtful to think that shes forgotten you, especially when you don't hear from her on your birthday.
trust me from experience, you guys were together for 5 years and from your description it sounds like you were very close during that time. a bond like that doesnt fade quickly, you grew up together, you most likely have had a strong influence on the person she is now, you are part of her and she carries a part of you where ever she goes. whenever someone speaks about anything to do with childhood, adolescence, her memory will include you in it. so trust me when i say, she hasnt forgotten about you.
there are likely many reasons why she didnt contact you, and you can chase them around your head a million times, at the end of the day it is of no consequence. you have to accept that you had your time together, and although you lost a great friendship when you parted ways, such is life and the way of things. dont destroy the memory of your friendship by dwelling on whats happening now and then becoming bitter she doesnt speak to you anymore. just value it, appreciate you had it at all and put it back on the shelf. some people are alone their whole lives and never get to experience an inkling of what you had. you loved once before, and now you know you can again.
) - some people go strictly to help themselves prioritize in life, or to help positive changes that are being assisted by medication. Other people seek out therapy to work on issues that are particularly hard for themselves (for example, quitting smoking cigarettes, or cutting back on excessive food intake, or strictly to set up an exercise/nutrition plan).
() - but this allows me to get to know people to a certain extent.