Problems with my brother again even after not seeing him for a year!

[muvolution]

Don't force it and talk that much. Just have a quick chat once a day. Not even once a day, just frequently. At first, don't even try to force talk about your relationship. I would actually think about just calling and shooting the shit for 5 or 10 minutes. After you do that for a while, he might open up to you about some other stuff.

It sounds like he isn't much on communicating, so keeping it brief and casual is a good bet. Let him come around, and really, it may be that he just changes his behavior towards you when you start treating him more as an equal and you will maybe start to treat each other as the young adults you are.

 

[Libby]

I thought this was gonna be some sexy incest story. Disappointed.

 

[acid_staind]

I am a big brother. Let me tell you something about us, you have to tell us off and put us in our place.

first off i'd like to offer my condolences to your current situation. i know how hard it is when in your position. i too have an older brother that treated me a lot like your bro treats you.

there's a lot of good advice here but i'd like to echo the above quote. when i was younger(31 now) i hated any type of confrontation and i let my brother continue to treat me badly for way to long. the boiling point came when i was 20. i loaned him 300$, which was pretty much all i had at the time but i let him force me to do it. sure enough he started acting like a bigger dickhead everyday after that. and when i asked for it two weeks later when he said he'd have it he got all pissed off and told me he was not paying me back cause he is older and needed the money more. i walked in the other room and thought bout everything he had done to over the years. then i just lost it. every sour emotion i had for all he had done to me came out at that moment. i still remember to this day how crazy it was. it was like my mind switched to auto pilot and i was watching myself verbally lash out at my brother. i got it all off my chest that day and when i left his house we didn't talk for 8 months. it defiantly took some time to build our relationship after we stared talking again, but fast forward 11yrs to now and we are like best friends.

i highly recommend you having a talk with your brother and not letting it go as far as i did and that note would be a good way to initiate that talk. i know its hard but sometimes a older brother needs a good verbal kick n the ass to straighten up. now im not saying you have to get into a shouting match with him but defiantly let him know all that he is doing to you and how it makes you feel. he might not even know how bad its affecting you.

a few years after my brother and i got reacquainted i learned he was heavily abused by a family member which was probably a huge source for all his anger toward me, not saying it made it right but there was so much more to my brother i never knew. i never thought i'd be able to relate to my brother the way i do now.

best of luck to you.