Ok I'll give a short background on myself before going into the problem. I've been a drug addict for 7-8+ years, lots of cocaine, every painkiller known to man, lsd, amphetamines, extasy, alcohol... basically everything you could name besides crack and meth. Painkillers and then heroin was my my DOC and what ultimately destroyed me. I was perscribed and addicted to xanax and klonopin for 6-7 years which I stopped cold turkey by myself in may to get into the suboxone clinic, because he wouldnt perscribe it till I was off the benzos. I've been on it since last summer, was buying it on the street taking 4mg a day because it was all I could afford and it worked, for the most part. I had 5 slips between now and last july. I would start to feel sick 3-4 hours before I took it every night around 8pm, but not nearly as sick as I feel now. Since May of this year ive been in a suboxone clinic, and havent touched heroin or painkillers for 6 months. I was initally perscribed 12mg a day, 8mg morning, 4 at night, but I went up because I was still spending half the days sick. So I was switched to 16mg (8mg 2x daily), no change.
My insurance doesnt cover suboxone and I was paying $120 per week plus 2 $25 copays just to be on this med. It was just as expensive as getting it on the street. My insurance does cover zubsolv, the newer formulation of suboxone, which I have been on for the last month, 2x daily of 5.7mg.
My problem is that just a few hours after I take my sub, I'm already feeling w/ds, and bad... its nearly unbearable... I have tried everything. Splitting my twice daily dose into 4-8 smaller doses, snorting, taking more than perscribed... Ive tried every potentiation method... tagament does nothing, I take 6-8 25mg benadryl with my doses and it used to seem to enhance it, now it doesnt seem to make a difference. I have to get all of my teeth pulled from years of neglect and drug use, and my doctor wants to have me stop bupe for 24 hours then go on painkillers, which scares me because I know the first time I take them ill be right back to pills and eventually dope. I cant sleep past 6-7 am because I just wake up extremely sick and cant go back to sleep and have to get up and take my dose.
So today I went to my local methadone clinic and they told me the same thing they always did.. that even though im perscribed the buprenorphine I would need to get off it completely and give a urine without any in there before they put me on methadone, which I cant do. I want to go on methadone because the suboxone just isnt working... im miserable, sick half the day... it almost seemed to work better on just 4mg a day but I cant go back now that im addicted so such a high dose. And I cant get on the methadone because I cant be sick for weeks or use heroin for weeks to get my urine clean... I wont be able to get thru it.. my last relapse nearly killed me and I dont think I can handle another but im so close to just saying fuck it and using dope again...
So my question is, is there ANYTHING I can do to stop these withdrawls that come just a few hours after I take the suboxone... A year ago I could go a day sometimes without it and not be anywhere near as sick as I am 3 hours later. I dont know if its because im not on benzos, or if its because im on a higher dose.... but ive tried everything... and I cant even switch to methadone, which I know works better for me personally and helps with the chronic pain I am in. Why am I getting sick so soon after I take my subs, why is it worse than when I was on just 4mg (I know less is more but ive tried less and now that im on a higher dose I cant go back) I cant smoke weed anymore, take benzos, or drink. My doctor has no idea why im sick a few hours after the sub. Cravings are under control but this sickness is killing me. Im just looking for any advice in how to fix this or make it better.. im at a loss and I dont have any other options at the moment. I just lost my girlfriend who ive been with for a long time, and am severely depressed and the sickness has been making all of it worse. Like I said I really do think it wasnt as bad at 4mg a day, but ive tried to cut back and cant do it, it just all seems like theres no hope and no solution. I have tried searching, ive read hundreds of bupe related posts here and cant find an answer, so I am just looking for some input.
Im on zubsolv 5.7mg 2x daily (8mg 2x daily suboxone equivalent) (also zubsolv hasnt worked either better or worse compared to the suboxone)
wellbutrin 300mg XR 1x daily (just started 2 weeks ago at 150mg, went to 300mg last week, isnt helping my depression at all yet)
hydroxyzine 50mg 3x daily for anxiety
Ambien 10mg 1x night for sleep
Also, at 4mg a day suboxone used to make me FEEL GOOD, like really good... slightly euphoric, crazy euphoric and nod in the beginning. 0 Good feelings at 12/16mg a day, and even if I just take 2-4mg doses I still dont get that good feeling. Im not looking for that though I could care less about a high, just figured id mention it. I just want to not be in withdrawls, thats all. In the beginning from last july up until around this march/april it worked SO well that I actually PREFERED it over heroin or oxy, as crazy as that sounds it physically made me feel better than any dose of oxy or heroin (not higher, just more "normal" and not sick)
Currently im taking the zubsolv 4x daily (2.85mg 4x daily = 4mg suboxone 4x daily) because 5.7mg (8mg) doesnt seem to hold me or do anymore than 2.85mg (4mg), so this way I get it more often and im in withdrawls for less hours of the day but its still excruciating.
Again ive tried every potentiation method I can do while in the program... diphenhydramine, tagament, GFJ... Ethanol solution under the tounge, snorting. Tried swallowing vs spitting the spit (I get a mouthful within minutes if that makes a difference) I keep it under my tounge for a minimum of 30 mins. Tried 8 small doses, and one large one of 16mg at a time... Nothing seems to help.
Any input or advice would be greatly appreciated... I just cant stand being sick everyday for half the day, its draining the life out of me.
My insurance doesnt cover suboxone and I was paying $120 per week plus 2 $25 copays just to be on this med. It was just as expensive as getting it on the street. My insurance does cover zubsolv, the newer formulation of suboxone, which I have been on for the last month, 2x daily of 5.7mg.
My problem is that just a few hours after I take my sub, I'm already feeling w/ds, and bad... its nearly unbearable... I have tried everything. Splitting my twice daily dose into 4-8 smaller doses, snorting, taking more than perscribed... Ive tried every potentiation method... tagament does nothing, I take 6-8 25mg benadryl with my doses and it used to seem to enhance it, now it doesnt seem to make a difference. I have to get all of my teeth pulled from years of neglect and drug use, and my doctor wants to have me stop bupe for 24 hours then go on painkillers, which scares me because I know the first time I take them ill be right back to pills and eventually dope. I cant sleep past 6-7 am because I just wake up extremely sick and cant go back to sleep and have to get up and take my dose.
So today I went to my local methadone clinic and they told me the same thing they always did.. that even though im perscribed the buprenorphine I would need to get off it completely and give a urine without any in there before they put me on methadone, which I cant do. I want to go on methadone because the suboxone just isnt working... im miserable, sick half the day... it almost seemed to work better on just 4mg a day but I cant go back now that im addicted so such a high dose. And I cant get on the methadone because I cant be sick for weeks or use heroin for weeks to get my urine clean... I wont be able to get thru it.. my last relapse nearly killed me and I dont think I can handle another but im so close to just saying fuck it and using dope again...
So my question is, is there ANYTHING I can do to stop these withdrawls that come just a few hours after I take the suboxone... A year ago I could go a day sometimes without it and not be anywhere near as sick as I am 3 hours later. I dont know if its because im not on benzos, or if its because im on a higher dose.... but ive tried everything... and I cant even switch to methadone, which I know works better for me personally and helps with the chronic pain I am in. Why am I getting sick so soon after I take my subs, why is it worse than when I was on just 4mg (I know less is more but ive tried less and now that im on a higher dose I cant go back) I cant smoke weed anymore, take benzos, or drink. My doctor has no idea why im sick a few hours after the sub. Cravings are under control but this sickness is killing me. Im just looking for any advice in how to fix this or make it better.. im at a loss and I dont have any other options at the moment. I just lost my girlfriend who ive been with for a long time, and am severely depressed and the sickness has been making all of it worse. Like I said I really do think it wasnt as bad at 4mg a day, but ive tried to cut back and cant do it, it just all seems like theres no hope and no solution. I have tried searching, ive read hundreds of bupe related posts here and cant find an answer, so I am just looking for some input.
Im on zubsolv 5.7mg 2x daily (8mg 2x daily suboxone equivalent) (also zubsolv hasnt worked either better or worse compared to the suboxone)
wellbutrin 300mg XR 1x daily (just started 2 weeks ago at 150mg, went to 300mg last week, isnt helping my depression at all yet)
hydroxyzine 50mg 3x daily for anxiety
Ambien 10mg 1x night for sleep
Also, at 4mg a day suboxone used to make me FEEL GOOD, like really good... slightly euphoric, crazy euphoric and nod in the beginning. 0 Good feelings at 12/16mg a day, and even if I just take 2-4mg doses I still dont get that good feeling. Im not looking for that though I could care less about a high, just figured id mention it. I just want to not be in withdrawls, thats all. In the beginning from last july up until around this march/april it worked SO well that I actually PREFERED it over heroin or oxy, as crazy as that sounds it physically made me feel better than any dose of oxy or heroin (not higher, just more "normal" and not sick)
Currently im taking the zubsolv 4x daily (2.85mg 4x daily = 4mg suboxone 4x daily) because 5.7mg (8mg) doesnt seem to hold me or do anymore than 2.85mg (4mg), so this way I get it more often and im in withdrawls for less hours of the day but its still excruciating.
Again ive tried every potentiation method I can do while in the program... diphenhydramine, tagament, GFJ... Ethanol solution under the tounge, snorting. Tried swallowing vs spitting the spit (I get a mouthful within minutes if that makes a difference) I keep it under my tounge for a minimum of 30 mins. Tried 8 small doses, and one large one of 16mg at a time... Nothing seems to help.
Any input or advice would be greatly appreciated... I just cant stand being sick everyday for half the day, its draining the life out of me.
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