Mental Health Probably going to kill myself - WhatIsWrongWithMe

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Yeah, I wanted to get cognitive behavioral therapy for a while. I really thought it would help me. I mean I'll probably still do it but I'm not as excited about it curing me anymore. I think I am just fucked regardless of therapy.

I just want to know what happened to me. I feel that if other people did 200mg of the same drug that I took, they would be fine in a week. I guess I really did start an underlying mental disorder. But why can't I ever get a good erection anymore even in my sleep? Shit man. I just don't know what happened.

you are not fucked. therapy can be a huge help. little by little it is helping me.

every persons brain chemistry is different. what may be okay for one person may not be okay for another. for example, take marijuana. i CANNOT consume it. if i do, i have hours upon hours of panic. other people take it and just relax, but not me. i take it and i feel like i am going to die because the panic is so strong. mdma just may not sit well with your brain chemistry. for a while i thought that by taking cannabis i triggered an underlying mental disorder, but then i realized otherwise that it just doesn't agree with me.

for now, just give your body and mind some time to heal. i don't want you to kill yourself. start therapy. try to stay away from the drugs. just give yourself some time to heal/overcome this.

 

[Dawglaw]

Say this out loud, "I will be OK."

The only thing wrong with that statement is the pronoun.
"I" is no longer accurate.

You are changing into somebody else.
That person will be very similar in many ways, but for a while at least you will be a different person.
But that new person will actually BE OK.
I promise.

FBC is right.

Whatiswrongwithme, listen to me. Get CBT. I, along with many other people have been down in the dumps and through hell because of MDMA. Drug induced chemical imbalances can suck the joy out of life but listen to me IT GETS BETTER. I know how you feel. Life always goes on.

I am a year out and while the experience changed me, it changed me for the better.

There is purpose to life.

 

[Maya]

Sorry to bump up an old thread. Whatiswrongwithme, I just remembered you. I hope you are doing well with your recovery. Please let us know and update us with everything
.

 

[b33ns]

I have also suffered bad DP/DR from panic attacks.. It's all from the anxiety man, as soon as you get your mind off it everything will go back to normal I promise.

Also, Olanzapine 5mg/day pretty much brought me back into reality, so if you feel you need medication, I recommend it.

 

[dpd_mnk92]

Hey WIWWM,

How's it going?

I am very much in the same boat. Like FBC, I have decided to wait a few years before suicide becomes a legitimate option. It is by far the most appealing option right now but WHAT IF it could get better? That question keeps me going for now.

I urge you to reconsider or at least set yourself a time limit, like FBC did. Within the time limit you have set, say 2 years, do everything you possibly can to improve things for yourself. If you still decide things aren't worth it, then I will completely understand. This thing we are going through is total hell but it can only get better. How much better? Only one way to find out - push on. Some people report complete reversal of symptoms almost overnight. Would be a real pity if you ended it all a few months before it was all destined to turn around.

As someone who is all too familiar with what you are going through, I support whatever decision you end up making 100%. If you're still here with us, let us know how you are getting on. Good luck x

 

[sirnatural]

hey dude stay clean i felt the same way.it took a year for me to feel human and guess what i like myself, im all i have. hang in there it will get better.

 

[Badroll7]

yea I know it's been a while. I hope he's alright