Proactive vs reactive

so here's a thought, whilst i am smoking some dreggs of dmt that i've been scraping out of my glass jar and taking a break from watching breaking bad so i can type it here whilst its fresh in thought as i just even wrote the words down in biro so i can remember it for my upcoming doctors appointment.....its 4pm....my kids will be back around 6ish so i'm just smoking the dreggs...ok judge me i dont care....but here's a thought.....would it not be better that i have some help...a therapist...something...anything as opposed to making my own dmt cos i cannot function coz 3 years ive been 'clean' but have been the walking dead....but my doctor had been quite happy to prescribe me fuck all and let me rot and only intervenre when i show up at A&E coz my kids dialed 999 coz i'm having a drug induced psychosis....what does it take to get help these days...if i went out right now and smashed a shop window and tried to rob the place...then there would be an intervention of some kind...that is called reaction....reactive...now to prevent this from happening why isn't somebody helping me...that is called 'proactive' its when you intervene early and treat a smaller problem to prevent it from escalating into a far larger problem which will then require enlisting the efforts of many organisations...police.....emergency services, mental health services etc etc whatever the procedure it takes when a mentally ill person desperate for assistance loses it and reacts to implusivity and creates distruction......is that what it will take to get some kind of help...if so then that is what i'll have to do...if i cannot get anybody to help me now i will have to take drastic measures and smash something and say 'see i told you weeks ago...i came to you asking for help...you said i didn't have enough points....now i smash i window, now i ruin somebody elses property and affect their livelihood now i have points!!)....how many points do i get for smashing a window....or better...break into a chemist...or even better...take a crow bar into a pharmacist and threaten them to hand over their prescription drugs....or better....tell them to stand back while i go and help myself to their prescription drugs....how many points will i get from that...i bet then i'll get help...and i'll get high first too...and i'll make the papers so my kids could financialy benefit off their crazy mothers actions.....hmmm...points