priceless.

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

i hit record on the vcr at ten. i thought you'd be home to watch this show with me. wishful thinking only gets you so far. 10:15, finally get dressed, fix my hair, find my bag. walk down those stairs. "where you going?" "to return my shirts" five years with that fucking company and i'm finally out. "bundle up, it's cold out. you want a ride instead?" "no thanks, goodnight."
look up at the sky and all the bright stars. should i even bother making a wish tonight? truth is, the only reason i'm going out is to waste some time. couldn't bare sitting in my room anymore. needed to get fresh thoughts, fresh air.
"right there, walking along side of the road, that's my girl." i pictured her driving you home because you missed the bus again. nice to meet you, i'm going to continue to walk for more beer. you get out of the car and join me. you look at her, she looks at you and in that instance you forget all you've done to her, all she's done to you. and you smile. when i'm in that situation, i do the same thing to- but as i turn and walk away, the tears start to form. i'm always the one walking away. and walking alone.
pass the bank. clock reads 10:53. keep walking to the beer store, and if there's no line i can get to the bus terminal in time- to see you step off the bus. if you even got on it in the first place. i know that schedule so well, it's the same one that used to bring me from philadelphia. and that town, it's the stop before here. you told me yesterday that you missed the bus in the early evening. well, there's another. why didn't you just tell me you were staying?
so i left the store and i'm heading over. would you remember small detail like this. that i met you with some beer, just so i'd be the first one to see you when you stepped back in the crummy town. and i'd listen to your stories all night- all the details. but every now and again, i'm sure i'll zone out and think about how the entire weekend i spent surrounded by these four walls and my thoughts. well worth it all- every minute that passed is a minute closer to you coming home.
11:03 -7 more minutes to be let down. i know you won't step off, so i'll cut through the diner parking lot. leave with my thoughts. and i see the cars racing by me. they think the faster they drive, the tougher they are. the slower i walk, the longer it takes me to get home. but there is no rush, when there's nothing to go home to. and once- i had this beautiful cat that used to meet me at the door. ...don't even have that anymore. ex-boy kidnapped him. ...for his own memories.
and the cold is stinging, turned my hands red. tears in my eyes from the wind. funny. keep making excuses. can't even be truthful. ...to myself anymore.
and i see this sign "buy/sell antiques", it reads. wonder if they'd buy my heart. frail, old, full of memories- full of something, bullshit maybe? i just don't want it anymore. i'd sell it for 11 dollars, for a 12 pack of beer. sell it for something to wash away the rest of the memories that i couldn't get rid of when i sold my heart. i guess some things you just can't put a price on -but c'mon, a lousy 11 dollars? ...maybe it's worth much less. seems as though no one wants it. i can't even give it away.

 

[harraser]

this is from our forum guidelines.

4) HOW OFTEN CAN I POST?
In order to accommodate the many “poets” in our forum, please limit yourself to 3 posts on the first page. No one wants to open the forum and see one person’s name dominating the front page. Share the spotlight with others. We understand that from time to time, old posts get bumped up and it may put you over that limit, and we WILL take this into consideration. But 3 posts on the first page is from hereon our max, and if you violate this, your excess posts will be moved to the Deleted Messages forum and you will be sent an email asking you to repost it once you are below 3.
please read them before the next time you post. you have 6 posts on the front page at the moment. i wont delete them but in future please stick to the guidelines or ill have to. thanks
-ant

 

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

sorry, it's just that sometimes, when you're left to nothing but your thoughts, you need to get rid of them. and i get rid of them here.
all apologizes. no hard feelings

 

[E-girl]

you look at her, she looks at you and in that instance you forget all you've done to her, all she's done to you. and you smile. when i'm in that situation, i do the same thing to- but as i turn and walk away, the tears start to form. i'm always the one walking away. and walking alone.
these lines really hit me hard. i guess you're like me in some ways... i watch other people so intently, getting right inside of their heads, and their emotions. they say a look can say so many words, and i have to agree. there is this unspoken novel that exchanges between two people with a past. sometimes its even more frightening that spoken words, which are usually too polite and forcibly far from the truth. maybe i'm reading into your piece a little too deeper... i tend to do that. i read words like these, and immediately i can relate it to something in my own life. i have someone like that... you probably know him (he used to be ryan's best friend; he's also the reason ryan's ex IS his ex, and why my ex IS my ex) but no matter how badly things were at the end for us, those rare and few times where i see him, or get an email from him, or a call... its like we both forget all the pain we caused each other.
"priceless"... yes, i know what you mean.