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Price to be paid

cherub

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 24, 2000
Messages
4,042
Location
Mountian Child
Winters starts to sneak in
you can feel the cold lingering in at night
and stay longer and longer through the day

Last year this time,
I was planning for the winter with much
anticipation.

This winter I look to see much long
hours
Studying and working and spending time alone

At times I am content with the idea
Friends I miss, I won't have time to visit
Places I could be going are just not possible

I realize now
my dream is gona take hard work
and continuing to cut people lives out of my plans

I start keeping my nose to the grind
going to classes
pulling out my hair at the chemistry that
boggles my mind

only two weeks into class and I have cried three times
trying to figure and plan out my problems

But my only problem is deciding if i can do this
My list of friends dwendles
my time for dating is non exisitant

My constant companion kisses my nose
always knowing when i need a break from the books

Someone forgot to tell me
I might be too old to go back,
not sure if i would listen anyhow
Just never thought I would struggle this much

I look around my class
they all think i am close to their age
But most have no idea i have 11 yrs or more on them

I keep to myself
it is not highschool anymore
I am here for one reason
to make a dream come true

Trying to tell myself
You want this, you want this like nothing else
isn't this what you always planned since 98

take your freedom have alittle fun
then settle down and study.

I am here
I am settled
I am studying

Just never knew I would be so alone as I do this
But I tell myself each morning this is the price to be paid
the price will win in the end.
 
I am here for one reason
to make a dream come true
....then you are there for the same reasons they are... so keep your head up, dont fret about the things that you have to sacrifice now... it will all be worth it in the end! (or so i keep telling myself)
 
hang in there,

the journey strenghtens and educates you.

the destination is just the icing with a cherry on top.

;)
 
hey sweetie.
I feel the same why you do.. I have gone to school before. And now I'm going back.. and I feel so old.. but, it's a good chance for you to consentrate better than when you were younger.

But, I had gone through the crying and the never having time for anyone.. and oh god.. did I wish that I could just sleep.. keep strong it's going to pay off in the end run.. don't give up on your dreams, because you deserve them to come true...
 
There are a million things in this piece that i want to respond to, but i rather wait until i talk to you again.

But my only problem is deciding if i can do this

^^^ YOU CAN DO THIS.
Cin- school and studying and homework can be difficult at ANY age. I struggle with this constantly. Its hardwork, but for a person like you it can be done. You have to look at yourself a little harder, and see what everyne out there see's in you. Your smart, so smart...and a challenge like chemistry is not gonna change that. Keep your head up momma...success is around the corner.
 
Going back is damn hard. The ol' brain has forgotten how it's all done. Don't expect to keep up straight away - take a light load for the first semester.

The friends who are truly worth it will understand. They will stick around, find skerrics of your free time to keep you company, listen to you when you're screaming out for understanding and patience. Others will get lost along the way, but new ones will be met. If you want this, then you will make it happen. Stay strong!

:)Smiley
 
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