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Pretending to be sober?

Appologies in advance for the long reply, but Im sure someone will get a kick out of it...

Me and 3 friends ate some amazing blotter in 2002. We are out in this field by the river having a great time tripping balls laughing our asses off at everything when my friend goes
"hey, i have something that would make this night even better"
So he goes to his grandparents house and comes back with an electric golf cart.
"holy shit" followed by silence followed by giggles was our only respons.
After taking turns driving it is finally time for my friend to drive (this kid is as close to human acid as is possible). As soon as he gets to the wheel its full speed. We all start shoutting,
"Holy shit, Im tripping balls" about 20 times.
Then my friend starts doing donuts: FULL SPEED!!! Me and the others are giggling out of control, uttering
"Doughnuts Doughnuts DOUGHNUTS!!!" like freaking MANIACS.
I look at the driver and he is hunched over, not looking where he is driving, DROOLING all over himself from laughing so hard...
BOOM!!!
We are stopped, after many "what the fuck just happened"s
"Whoa... we crashed into a picnic bench"
"Lets back up"
"we're stuck"
"pull the golfcart off the picnic bench"
"I cant, its stuck"
Silence, utter confusion
at the same time...
"WOW!!! Lets pull the picnic bench out of the golf cart"
It works!!!
After this we sit on the picnic bench and repeat over and over
"Im tripping balls, Damn What the fuck (giggle giggle)" and other phrases of the sort.
I look in my pocket to get my cigarettes, they are gone. What I emerge from my pockets with is a cell phone, mine, lit up and displaying the phrase

"Connected, Mom, 6:26"

the rest of the trip is spent trying to not focus on the fact that everything I have typed about in this reply was audible on a message I somehow left on my mothers answering machine. Mind you, I was 16 at the time.

In the morning (7:00 ish) my acid human friend and I arrive at my house, I devise a plan to get my moms phone without waking her up and then delete the message. After the briefing we are ready to execute the plan. We get out of my car and approach the house. I open the door.
"Chris..."
"Yes mom?"
"Did you know you left a weird message on my cell phone last night at like 3 in the morning"
(walking towards moms room)
"I must have rolled over in my sleep"
"no, I could hear your voice, You guys must have been eating doughnuts or something, you guys kept shouting doughnuts"
"Yeah we had a bit much to drink, thats why I stayed there until I sobered up, Im sorry, but atleast I did it safe"
"Come listen to this message"
"Ok......"
listening to the message for 5 seconds then I hit delete and walk out of the room
"Did you delete it?"
" I must have hit something on accident"
Walk back to my friend who is waiting eagerly in my bedroom
"Mission accomplished!!!"

I got in no trouble at all, she had no clue anything to that degree was going on, I only got a talk about how I shouldnt be drinking but that she was glad I didnt drive home drunk.
 
JeW BaLLs said:
Then my friend starts doing donuts: FULL SPEED!!! Me and the others are giggling out of control, uttering
"Doughnuts Doughnuts DOUGHNUTS!!!" like freaking MANIACS.
I look at the driver and he is hunched over, not looking where he is driving, DROOLING all over himself from laughing so hard...
BOOM!!!
We are stopped, after many "what the fuck just happened"s
"Whoa... we crashed into a picnic bench"
"Lets back up"
"we're stuck"
"pull the golfcart off the picnic bench"
"I cant, its stuck"
Silence, utter confusion
at the same time...
"WOW!!! Lets pull the picnic bench out of the golf cart"
It works!!!
After this we sit on the picnic bench and repeat over and over
"Im tripping balls, Damn What the fuck (giggle giggle)" and other phrases of the sort.
Click to expand...

^^hahahah sounds like a good time
 
I once came home after taking a quater of shrooms. I wasnt able to find my friends phone number. I promptly searched the house in a complete daze. I ran around the house tearing the whole place apart. I ran down stairs to my parents and yelled "I CAN'T FIND HER NUMBER!" to my amazment, my mom found it and gave it to me.

very akward exprience.
 
This is a little number from the trip reports archive I thought you might enjoy. A crazy experience indeed!

I'll start from the night before: It was a Monday night and I had work the next day but one of my best friends was leaving for Sydney the next day so I was roped into going out for a few beers. A few beers turned into a few 100 (as usual) and I ended up totally off my face, pretty much unable to talk or walk, and staggered into bed at about 4:30. I was violently woken up at about 7:30, and kicked out of my bedroom because we had a house inspection (our house is for sale). I was still totally smashed and somehow I had acquired a black eye the night before so I decided to take a sickie from work. Left hung over as a dog and with nowhere to sleep I went ‘round to my friends house and somehow woke him up (he had been drinking with me the night before) and convinced him to let me sleep on the spare bed in his room.

4-5 hours later we both woke up and were still drunk but non-the-less we decided to seize the day. My friend was down to his last two incredibly strong, mind-fucking hash brownies so we decided to scoff ‘em. As soon as that happened my rather insane mother who was none too happy at me for bludging work and getting pissed on a Monday, called my friend’s mum and announced she was coming over. She and my friend’s mum wanted to have a group ‘meeting’ to discuss our incessant alcoholism, which they were convinced had reached a crisis point. We tried to talk our way out of it in about 100 different ways because we knew that in about 30 minutes we were going to be totally out of our minds. ½ a piece of the brownies we had gets you more than roasted and we had a whole one each, which was a large enough dose to make you trip hard, almost on the same level as acid!
Anyway, we were shit scared and just as my mum knocks on the door we look at each other and start giggling insanely – it had begun!

My mum and his mum lead us into the living room and sat down, as did we, trying to muster our most concerned looks. Our mums launched into a killer lecture on the evils of alcohol and how little control we had, how much harm we were doing to our bodies etc etc. I was glancing at my friend and I praying to a higher power that I didn’t look like he did (his eyes were slits), and that our mums wouldn’t notice. We were fighting so hard and almost pulling it off. Getting progressively more and more fucked all the while we actually got a bit introspective and even sort of believed we were drunks and that our parents had a point. We were even participating in the conversation – albeit in a nonsensical manner – which luckily our mums attributed to us being extremely hung over. The conversation was drawing to an end when my mum said “you boys are so irresponsible, you drink so much!” and for some unknown reason my friend replied “yeah, and you don’t even know the half of it!” – a shameless reference to the brownies we had just munched and our secret stoner lives. He said it with this ridiculously sheepish guilty look on his face. This proved too much for me and after choking down giggles for a few seconds I let loose with a cacophony of roaring laughter. I laughed until there were tears rolling down my cheeks as did my friend, who obviously got lost in the hilarity of the situation as well.

By the time we had regained our composure our parents were absolutely fuming and thought the whole conversation we were just laughing at them inwardly and didn’t hear a word they’d said. Luckily my mum left in disgust and we grabbed our shit and raced down to the movies to the howls of protests of my mate’s mum.
Needless to say it took a while to convince my mum that I believed she had a point. I am still grateful she didn’t work out I was fucked off my nut on brownies at the time. If that had happened I don’t think I would be alive!!!
Click to expand...
 
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I like this thread...

I can think of one distinctive event but alas, I enjoy my anonymity here at Bluelight, and this particular story is well known- I once had someone I didn't know stop me and finish my story when I told them because they had heard it through so many friends of friends of friends of friends....

ANYWAYS, the only other time I can think of right now, and its nothing too extreme, was when I'd gone to stay at a mates place after we'd had a pill each way late in the night, or rather, early in the morning, and a couple of guys she knew came back with us. Nothing dodgey, we were all just sitting around talking and laughing, when it was suddenly 9am, and there was a knock at the door- my mate had forgotten her parents were coming round, and there we were still as high as anything, trying to take in instructions from them on something or other we were supposed to do for them later that day..

They never did ask her who the fellas were and what we were all doing at 9am still in the previous nights clothes sitting in her living room, and why she was wearing her sunglasses inside (hiding her eyes)!
 
Hahah, this threads great. Good to see it bumped.

All I know its its impossible to pretend you are sober when you fuckin nod out in your cereal bowl, or in the middle of eating. That always happens to me when I get real shitty on that deez. Everyones tellin me I did too much and Im like na yo bust me out some more Im good I aint beat! I aint beat! Then i nod out while im standing up and wake up with my face on the kitchen counter or some shit. then "You got me worried" which is why I jus like to do my shit alone.

The othe day I was smokin blunts and bongs after doin a few bags of some good shit and i was at my boys house who only smokes weed and his girl too. I started feelin sick as hell like i was gonna throw up and i was already leanin hard , everyone like "U ok?" "yeaa u know how it is with my back i took a couple percocets n it made me feel sick" lol..If only i could even feel even 10 percs much less get sick off em.
 
Not recommended!

I have a funny story in this regard, having to do with tripping at work, an activity which I would highly recommend against and definitely never do again, but this actually happened twice at two different jobs. The first time was at a specialty bread/sandwich store, where I worked as an artisan of sandwiches (read: dumping meat and cheese on a piece of bread and tossing it to the next fool). Anyway, I did not take this job very seriously, as the pay was shitty and the work repetitious. This resulted in me going to work high on weed and various pills nearly every day; I was in rare form working sober at this job.

So one day I get a hold of some LSD and proceed to drop it immediately, forgetting I had work in less than an hour. I couldn't call in sick without being fired, as is common with these crappy jobs, so I had to go in tripping face on I believe 2 or 3 hits (forget how much exactly, it was a decently strong trip though). Arriving at work, the acid is starting to really come at me in waves of paranoia, then stricken fear, then giggly nonchalance, all seeming to occur at regular intervals.

Luckily, I was able to confide in several co-workers, as they were fellow stoners; it made it much more fun when I could tell them the ham now had a face and that odd snorting sounds seemed to be emanating from the direction of the deli line. However, this gave way to paranoia, especially during the lunch and dinner rushes when the managers would help out on the line and I ended up working next to the head of the store, who thankfully had his head far enough up his own ass not to notice my odd behavior. I was still able to churn out sandwiches, so that satisfied him. I also had paranoid thoughts that the other employees were conspiring with the managers against me, and kept hearing a mix of suspicious voices that seemed to mention my name whenever I would become self-conscious of the trip.

Thankfully, I made it the whole day without anyone really catching on, and went on to smoke a few bowls with fellow employees after work, as well as enjoying some parking-lot soccer. However, I later learned that I was not as clever as I thought I was in covering up my stoned behavior in general, as the manager who interviewed me for the job in the first place asked me, before I quit, if I had been high for the interview process, which indeed I had (not as hard as you'd think though). He was the cool manager of the bunch though, and so I returned a shit-eating grin; the head manager never found out i was high once, as he probably would have fired me on the spot. %)

The second time is much less interesting, but I was working at a national chain restaurant as a host/busser; luckily pretty much everyone in the restaurant industry is high on something, so when I got called in on a Sunday off already trippin' and acquiesced to the manager's request in an altered state, (needed the money anyway) I was able to get the easy job as the door greeter for the entire evening. I'm sure some people noticed, as I was definitely acting off/spaced-out, but nobody really cares; the only interesting thing about this one is trying to sweep a carpet for my side-work before getting off, where the debris on the floor, the designs on the carpet, and swirling colors were all interchangeably mixed. Took me a while =D
 
My second time trying MDMA was interesting. A little while after peaking, my mom called me as I was marveling at the ceiling of my friend's apartment; he was moving out that day and there was a leak that was very obviously starting to form from the floor above. I tried to tell her about what I was doing, but I think I just blathered on about the leak. I also sounded a little too excited about everything. :)

Also talking to very angry parents over the phone while on the tail end of an acid trip. Not fun explaining to them why I was still not home at 6am ("I got really drunk" :\ ).
 
The day after I first went on suboxone I had to go to work early to open the store at the mall. I took my 4mg dose, but I had taken 6mg the day before and wasn't feeling so good. The suboxone caught me totally off guard and I thought I had the flu. I was so dizzy that I couldn't stand up so I pretended to put security tags on clothes but really I was bent over tryin not to puke. All of a sudden, while I was talking to my manager, I felt it come up and I ran to the back bathroom projectile vomited worse than I'd ever before in my life. I was sick as a fuckin dog and could barely even walk. I laid in the storeroom vomiting for an hour until my boyfriend could come get me. I definitely took WAY too much suboxone.

I played it off as the flu tho =D
 
Coming home at 6 in the morning when i was loaded fucking drunk and after smoking shitloads of hash. I was about 16 at the time i think and i really did not think i was that wasted until my my mom pointed out that i had no shirt on.

Nodding on morphine and dilaudid while watching TV in the living room with my dad, mom and bro. I nodded off with a unlit smoke in my mouth and didnt wake up until my bro took the smoke from me. I was abit pissed that i had been disturbed while in the blissful land of nod. This has happened many times actually because my family knows im on opiates (except my dad who needs no drugs at all to be completely fucking oblivious) and don't care that much.
 
Back when I was using, I nodded out after taking too much oxycodone and I was still on the internet. I was using my keyboard as a pillow and my mom walked in my room and yelled at me. I jumped from my chair fairly quickly and fell immediately to the ground because my entire left leg was asleep. I got up and stumbled around and she was just telling me how fucked up I was. I argued with her a little bit but I just finally told her what I took.
 
hahaha awesome thread

ok, so one fine saturday me and my brother decided to go to the woods behind our house to blaze some AMAZING dank, we finish off a bowl each and start heading back, when i come into my house im completely mindfucked, like im just going crazy in my head and all i can think about is food. So i go up into my room and change, but i end up wanking on my bed, after this i chug some listerine to cover the smell and head downstairs. My parents are sitting on the couch looking very concerned and they ask me why i was in my room for 45 minutes. i tell them that i took a small nap and they buy it. So i head into the ktichen and get a whole lot of food to bring back into my room, as im heading up the stairs i trip and my mom comes running. i look up at her and apparently my eyes were slits and very very red. My mom screams at me and demands to know what i took. So i tell her to sit down, and i sit down on the floor and start eating ice cream. shes still standing, by now im like "FUCKKKK" so i tell her something like this "okay, mom i went to the forest to smoke a cigarette and it was obviously a very bad cig because now i feel sick" she doesnt buy it at all. So it ell her that i also drank some whiskey in the woods, she buys it. I go up into my room and gorge on my wonderful food. My dad walks in and sees my lying on the floor playing with a stapler and eating ice cream. Hes like what the fuck are you doing, so i tell him that i accidentally drank too much hydrocodone syrup ( i had it prescribed for a very bad cough) hes like "euhhhhh dont do it again" but im pretty sure he knew i was bullshitting, i heard hium talking with my mom that evening but i dont remeber what about.

they probably knew i smoked some weed but they really didnt want to deal with it at the time, lucky break=D
 
most impossible drug to hide being on: benzos.

i thought i did a good job of it..but once after a lot of alprazolam powder i walked downstairs to find my mom looking at me like i was a complete fucking psycho.

"what have you been on?"
"nothing."
"dont lie to me what have you been on?"
"i swear i didnt do anything."
"what day is it?"
"tuesday.."
"its sunday."
"oh."
 
So I got one.
Its Sunday night and I had been out most of the night hanging out at a friends house. Well most of the night I had been looking for some oxy vicodin etc and nada. I get a call around 11 and my friend tells me he had some xanax for me so I grab them and head home. I pop in a dvd and take 2 bars (4mg) well I get to sleep around 3am and I forgot I have to work at 5am the next morning so I wake up barely and leave and go to work well on the way to work I must of passed out cause I woke up right before I hit a light pole on the side street of my work. So I pull my self together after that I park and I check my bottle of xanax before I go in to make sure I hadnt taken anymore... Sure as shit there was 8 bars missing! So somehow that night I passed out and had taken 8 bars. I guess from what my co workers told me I was slurring my words all day and passing out at my desk every 15mins. The next day my manager asked what was wrong with me and I told him I couldnt sleep cause I broke up with my girlfriend and was having trouble with it... I got the next 3 days off work with pay :-) and not a problem since..
 
I came home one time absolutly wasted and my folks immediatly knew it but I kept insisting on the tried and true "I'm....uhhh....uhhh...tire" excuse.
So they starting yelling at me for drinking underage and I kept on insisting I was rteally fucking tired and then my legs bucked underneath me and I fell on the floor. Yep, I was tired.
 
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