QUEENCOOKIE
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2016
- Messages
- 4
So yesterday I had my appointment scheduled with my doctor to get help with my heroin addiction and finally start taking subs. My Doctor told me I should wait 42 hours before I take my first dose of 8mg of sub film. So yesterday when I went into my docs office I had been just about 30 hours clean but still not with that bad of with drawls... It was really weird. Usually after 12 hours with out H I am dying. So for me to go that long and not feel that shitty is very fucking weird. I have been using "China White" recently, It's very strong. My first expierences with "China White" were that its very strong but left my body so quickly, like after 4-6 hours I would start to go through WD if I didnt consume any more, so to my surprise when this new "China" shows up and its 50xs stronger and even lasts ten times longer I was thrilled. So when I had explained this to my Doc he brushed off what I said like he new more than me and didnt take into consideration how terrified I was about going into precipitated withdrawel at all!!!! I like to think I know my body better than anyone and as user of 3 years with a pretty heavy habit it was VERY WEIRD to not be into that much WD pain at that level of time and not have my doctor even the slightest bit worried for me or show care.
So either way at about 30 hours I was getting hot and cold symtoms with some mild sweating. THATS ALL. I kept expressing my concern and nobody in the office cared. I asked if I could take the subs home that WERE PRESCRIBED TO ME & they told me I had to take my first dose there. So I was told by my doctor to take 2 WHOLE FILMS EVEN THO I WAS BARELY INTO WITHDRAWLS & HE KNEW THIS!! The nurse gave me both of them and told me to put them both under the same spot on my tounge which i'm pretty sure is wrong and she brought me water right away when your not supposed to even consume water for 30 min after TAKING ONE!
Well 15 min was all it took to set my world of happiness right on it's ass. 15 fucking mineuts these percipitated withdraws hit me like a ton of brick's. Immdeiatly I couldnt sit still, Was sweating my ass off like the most ive ever sweat from a withdrawl, I was severely hot and cold,was very pale and had goose bumps, I had uncontrollable diarrhea, Uncontrollable puking, My body was in so much pain, ugh, just so much pain. I felt like I was possessed! Litterally I was a monster, kicking, screaming, thoughts of suicide, you name it. I was so scared of this happening but put faith in my doctor when I should have just picked up the script and just said fuck it im done. Im so pissed that he thought he new my body more than me and ignored me!!!! Not every person reacts the same. We all know this. How did my doctor not?! Either way I was very lucky I survived the 2 worst hours of my life thanks to puking out an entire sub ( I drank water too soon and one of them didnt disolve and i swalloed it) and racing to my dealer's house to get me out of my Percipitated withdrawals. I have heard you ususally cant even break even when that happens but I did. I was completly normal after with a few mild sweats and aches with only doing under a half a gram of this " China White". I did however have to keep doing china through out my day because the sub was still trying to push my new stuff out.
I really want to quit still but this has scarred me. That orange citrus bitter taste from the sub still lingers and it haunts me because I keep thinking how I felt and how I so wanted to just be put out of my misery... How someone could do that to me after I told them I really thought that was going to happen and have them give me the whole " Im the doctor, I know you, you dont" speech is messed up to say the least. What do you guys think are some tips I can use to put forward in my sobriety? Any other drugs you might reccomend other than subs? Is methadone a good option or am I really going to fuck my life up if I go on that? I just want to regain control of my life and need insight and tips. If you can help, wonderful!
Thanks for reading
So either way at about 30 hours I was getting hot and cold symtoms with some mild sweating. THATS ALL. I kept expressing my concern and nobody in the office cared. I asked if I could take the subs home that WERE PRESCRIBED TO ME & they told me I had to take my first dose there. So I was told by my doctor to take 2 WHOLE FILMS EVEN THO I WAS BARELY INTO WITHDRAWLS & HE KNEW THIS!! The nurse gave me both of them and told me to put them both under the same spot on my tounge which i'm pretty sure is wrong and she brought me water right away when your not supposed to even consume water for 30 min after TAKING ONE!
Well 15 min was all it took to set my world of happiness right on it's ass. 15 fucking mineuts these percipitated withdraws hit me like a ton of brick's. Immdeiatly I couldnt sit still, Was sweating my ass off like the most ive ever sweat from a withdrawl, I was severely hot and cold,was very pale and had goose bumps, I had uncontrollable diarrhea, Uncontrollable puking, My body was in so much pain, ugh, just so much pain. I felt like I was possessed! Litterally I was a monster, kicking, screaming, thoughts of suicide, you name it. I was so scared of this happening but put faith in my doctor when I should have just picked up the script and just said fuck it im done. Im so pissed that he thought he new my body more than me and ignored me!!!! Not every person reacts the same. We all know this. How did my doctor not?! Either way I was very lucky I survived the 2 worst hours of my life thanks to puking out an entire sub ( I drank water too soon and one of them didnt disolve and i swalloed it) and racing to my dealer's house to get me out of my Percipitated withdrawals. I have heard you ususally cant even break even when that happens but I did. I was completly normal after with a few mild sweats and aches with only doing under a half a gram of this " China White". I did however have to keep doing china through out my day because the sub was still trying to push my new stuff out.
I really want to quit still but this has scarred me. That orange citrus bitter taste from the sub still lingers and it haunts me because I keep thinking how I felt and how I so wanted to just be put out of my misery... How someone could do that to me after I told them I really thought that was going to happen and have them give me the whole " Im the doctor, I know you, you dont" speech is messed up to say the least. What do you guys think are some tips I can use to put forward in my sobriety? Any other drugs you might reccomend other than subs? Is methadone a good option or am I really going to fuck my life up if I go on that? I just want to regain control of my life and need insight and tips. If you can help, wonderful!
Thanks for reading