Bold = short post for TL;DR
Hi, I had a certain thought pop up in my head:
If I practice while I'm impaired on drugs, sure I may not learn/ improve much, but unless the withdrawal rips me apart, perhaps this time practicing while impaired will increase my drive/ stamina to practice once I am clean, with all the physical and mental abilities I will slowly regain.
Even if this isn't true, trying to keep active while abusing drugs is obviously better than slacking (and jacking) off, and basically doing nothing
Thoughts?
TL;DR post:
No dicksizing intended here, I'm just sharing my thoughts and giving personal context.
I used to get really fucked up every night, and practicing would be useless and impossible at those times. I couldn't start practicing, or remember anything from 'last night.' Second-grade math was impossibly next day...
But now that my tolerance is so much higher and my self-control is also slightly better (I think), I can still function, even on downer combos or high doses of single downers.
So I was thinking during these periods, and during semi-sober (or if I'm lucky, fully sober) days, I could practice (start with something like call of duty online, then maybe mathematics) until I become as good as the others (as a milestone; I dislike competition).
Then when I'm sober and the withdrawal is mostly done with, if I keep going at it, think of how much easier it will be after all that extra hard work. I'm not saying it's better than practicing sober the whole time, but I'm past the stage of "benzos calm me down enough to function" and "stimulants give me the concentration to study." Nearly all drugs are purely detrimental and recreational for me now.
As some of you know, I've been staying indoors and seeing very few people (not even close friends) for a long time now. One day I had spent the night on downers and morning on uppers (coming down), so instead of sleeping I called my math tutor over, whom I hadn't seen in many months. He tested me with his own questions and told me that even though my memory was a little fried and my knowledge of math was behind the other teens due to drug use, slacking off, and abandoning school, I still had a natural 'gift' for intuitive understanding of mathematical reasoning, which makes me think I might have an even easier time reaching the level of 'normal' while I'm a drug abuser.
Hi, I had a certain thought pop up in my head:
If I practice while I'm impaired on drugs, sure I may not learn/ improve much, but unless the withdrawal rips me apart, perhaps this time practicing while impaired will increase my drive/ stamina to practice once I am clean, with all the physical and mental abilities I will slowly regain.
Even if this isn't true, trying to keep active while abusing drugs is obviously better than slacking (and jacking) off, and basically doing nothing
Thoughts?
TL;DR post:
No dicksizing intended here, I'm just sharing my thoughts and giving personal context.
I used to get really fucked up every night, and practicing would be useless and impossible at those times. I couldn't start practicing, or remember anything from 'last night.' Second-grade math was impossibly next day...
But now that my tolerance is so much higher and my self-control is also slightly better (I think), I can still function, even on downer combos or high doses of single downers.
So I was thinking during these periods, and during semi-sober (or if I'm lucky, fully sober) days, I could practice (start with something like call of duty online, then maybe mathematics) until I become as good as the others (as a milestone; I dislike competition).
Then when I'm sober and the withdrawal is mostly done with, if I keep going at it, think of how much easier it will be after all that extra hard work. I'm not saying it's better than practicing sober the whole time, but I'm past the stage of "benzos calm me down enough to function" and "stimulants give me the concentration to study." Nearly all drugs are purely detrimental and recreational for me now.
As some of you know, I've been staying indoors and seeing very few people (not even close friends) for a long time now. One day I had spent the night on downers and morning on uppers (coming down), so instead of sleeping I called my math tutor over, whom I hadn't seen in many months. He tested me with his own questions and told me that even though my memory was a little fried and my knowledge of math was behind the other teens due to drug use, slacking off, and abandoning school, I still had a natural 'gift' for intuitive understanding of mathematical reasoning, which makes me think I might have an even easier time reaching the level of 'normal' while I'm a drug abuser.
