MagicalMatt7007
Greenlighter
I will now explain in detail probably one of the most vacuous decisions I have ever made in my entire life, and it all started when my friend obtained a ziplock bag of blue and white pills.
Fairly recently back in september of this past year while I was in scottsdale, Arizona, I was staying the night at my friends condominium and he had gotten a bag of blue dolphin and white lexus ecstasy pills, the white one supposedly contained cocaine. Well 4-5 days before, sometime in the afternoon I had taken 1 and a half of the blue dolphin pills and barely embraced the full effects of the drug, and eventually it had worn off a couple hours later throughout the unfolding of the day.
However, 4-5 days later approximately around 5:45 in the evening, (taking note of the fact I was still coming down off the first dose I had taken a few days earlier), I had culminated to the undeniable mistake of taking another 1 and a half blue dolphin(s) which then lead to me popping a single white lexus tablet about 20 minutes later along with the blue dolphins. They completely took effect probably between 7:35 and 8:15 a little after we had gotten back from the grocery store and I was feeling the come up intensely at this point. Later that night, leading up to 12:00 midnight is where **** started to go downhill and the dark side of the ecstasy started to reveal itself to my body.
My eyes were widened and I was sitting on the couch next to my friend when suddenly I noticed my heart rate increasing faster and faster to the point I had to walk into the other room and lay down on the bed. I sat there on the bed in complete paranoia with extremely high blood pressure, shaking, chills and tremors, it felt as if my head was going to explode or a vein was going to burst.
I was getting up pacing around the condo, laying back down, and taking multiple showers. Around 2:02 A.M. I had dialed 911 and talked to a woman on the other line about the pills(and how much) I had taken, and what my exact symptoms were which I slowly described in detail. Not seeming much too concerned, all she told me was that ecstasy will tend to give a person those definitive effects and that I should get my friend to take me to the emergency room which never happened because he was passed out asleep, and I ignorantly thought that I would be able to ride it out and survive until morning. I remember just laying there on the bed with my heart racing uncontrollably, my head throbbing, shaking and incessantly praying to god I would survive and not have any major damage afterwards.
I had stayed and remained wide awake for three days straight after the night I consumed the pills as I can recall, and didn't even tell my aunt about what happened until she came by to check on me a couple days later. A few minutes before she came over, I was talked into taking a bong hit of some good kush weed by my friend which within the current moment thought it would alleviate some of the come down tension of the ecstasy aftermath. So I took the hit and for a few minutes everything seemed alright, but elucidated to the fact my heart rate started to act up again, ultimately leading to an intense panic attack, to which had me lying in the bed experiencing muscle spasms, scary convulsions, and chills. My aunt was there with me in the room wondering what was wrong with me, and she was asking me why I was shaking so badly, but I refrained from telling her the truth about what I took days earlier and preceded to pretend I was completely alright
I eventually explained to her what had happened and how much I took that night, but feel horrible for not deciding to call her instead of the ER the night I was having such a terrifying trip off a substance I had no previous experience with before in my life. Since then I have had an EKG but haven't seen a neurologist. I have noticed that my anxiety has greatly heightened since the incident and every time I try to smoke weed I am thrown into a mild panic attack with my head feeling bizarre and my heart racing abnormally fast.
I have just recently found out that I've unfortunately gotten a case of derealization/depersonalization (still have it)possibly from too many panic attacks and ongoing severe anxiety over the christmas holiday this past december which has been absolutely terrible to those who have experienced it all day everyday non-stop for more than a month. I feel like my life has been slowly deteriorating all because of that one mistake of taking those godforsaken pills I had no business taking that night Yet I still have hope inside my heart
If anyone with similar experience who has gone through such a hellish period in their life could please give me some good advice on how I might go about getting my mental stability back to normal and appropriately healing myself from all this trauma please let me know! 8)
Fairly recently back in september of this past year while I was in scottsdale, Arizona, I was staying the night at my friends condominium and he had gotten a bag of blue dolphin and white lexus ecstasy pills, the white one supposedly contained cocaine. Well 4-5 days before, sometime in the afternoon I had taken 1 and a half of the blue dolphin pills and barely embraced the full effects of the drug, and eventually it had worn off a couple hours later throughout the unfolding of the day.
However, 4-5 days later approximately around 5:45 in the evening, (taking note of the fact I was still coming down off the first dose I had taken a few days earlier), I had culminated to the undeniable mistake of taking another 1 and a half blue dolphin(s) which then lead to me popping a single white lexus tablet about 20 minutes later along with the blue dolphins. They completely took effect probably between 7:35 and 8:15 a little after we had gotten back from the grocery store and I was feeling the come up intensely at this point. Later that night, leading up to 12:00 midnight is where **** started to go downhill and the dark side of the ecstasy started to reveal itself to my body.
My eyes were widened and I was sitting on the couch next to my friend when suddenly I noticed my heart rate increasing faster and faster to the point I had to walk into the other room and lay down on the bed. I sat there on the bed in complete paranoia with extremely high blood pressure, shaking, chills and tremors, it felt as if my head was going to explode or a vein was going to burst.
I was getting up pacing around the condo, laying back down, and taking multiple showers. Around 2:02 A.M. I had dialed 911 and talked to a woman on the other line about the pills(and how much) I had taken, and what my exact symptoms were which I slowly described in detail. Not seeming much too concerned, all she told me was that ecstasy will tend to give a person those definitive effects and that I should get my friend to take me to the emergency room which never happened because he was passed out asleep, and I ignorantly thought that I would be able to ride it out and survive until morning. I remember just laying there on the bed with my heart racing uncontrollably, my head throbbing, shaking and incessantly praying to god I would survive and not have any major damage afterwards.
I had stayed and remained wide awake for three days straight after the night I consumed the pills as I can recall, and didn't even tell my aunt about what happened until she came by to check on me a couple days later. A few minutes before she came over, I was talked into taking a bong hit of some good kush weed by my friend which within the current moment thought it would alleviate some of the come down tension of the ecstasy aftermath. So I took the hit and for a few minutes everything seemed alright, but elucidated to the fact my heart rate started to act up again, ultimately leading to an intense panic attack, to which had me lying in the bed experiencing muscle spasms, scary convulsions, and chills. My aunt was there with me in the room wondering what was wrong with me, and she was asking me why I was shaking so badly, but I refrained from telling her the truth about what I took days earlier and preceded to pretend I was completely alright
I eventually explained to her what had happened and how much I took that night, but feel horrible for not deciding to call her instead of the ER the night I was having such a terrifying trip off a substance I had no previous experience with before in my life. Since then I have had an EKG but haven't seen a neurologist. I have noticed that my anxiety has greatly heightened since the incident and every time I try to smoke weed I am thrown into a mild panic attack with my head feeling bizarre and my heart racing abnormally fast.
I have just recently found out that I've unfortunately gotten a case of derealization/depersonalization (still have it)possibly from too many panic attacks and ongoing severe anxiety over the christmas holiday this past december which has been absolutely terrible to those who have experienced it all day everyday non-stop for more than a month. I feel like my life has been slowly deteriorating all because of that one mistake of taking those godforsaken pills I had no business taking that night
Yet I still have hope inside my heartIf anyone with similar experience who has gone through such a hellish period in their life could please give me some good advice on how I might go about getting my mental stability back to normal and appropriately healing myself from all this trauma please let me know! 8)
