MDMA & Opiates
I have two pretty bad ones. One you can consider more of a withdrawal, the other is definitely the scariest shittiest feeling i've ever experienced otherwise known as a bad trip/following bad comedown.
MORPHINE / CODEINE / METHADONE:
At the ripe age of 11 i cracked my elbow, slipped a growth plate in my elbow, dislocated my shoulder, ripped shoulder and neck muscle, and got a bad concussion all at the same time. after spending a night or two in the hospital, i came home and they had me on a moderate dose of codeine (coming off oral morphine, closely being monitored at the hospital) to cope with the pain. I was young and had never been prescribed (or payed attention to) the dangers of opiates as a pain medication. I popped it like it was tylenol, every day until i ran out, which was a good 3 months. I thought everytime i felt i needed more was because of the pain, when meanwhile i had healed faster than expected and those cravings were psychological. A day after technically going cold turkey, i was on the ground of my bathroom shaking rapidly. I had a fever, was sweating like mad, felt colder than ice (shivering), kept throwing up, and couldnt do anything but writhe in pain thinking i was dying. My mom thought it was just a stomach flu of some sort, but after a day of the symptoms going on and off (some hours more intense than others) she decided to call an ambulance. after bringing me in to the hospital and looking at my medical records, they realized i was on opiate withdrawal. Since going cold turkey had physically effected my recent injuries, they put me on a closely monitored dose of methadone (false opiate) to slowly come off whatever tolerance i had built in the past few months. That's all i really remember, but the hours i spent on the ground felt like years of wishing someone would come in the room and just hit me as hard as they could.
MDMA / MOLLY CAPS / GREYGOOSE:
LOL k so this one has been the WORST comedown i have ever had off molly (im a frequent heavy user), and ever since thank god i haven't had one like it. That night i popped about 5 caps and railed another 4, i was flying cause i had waited about 3 weeks (at that point i usually i waited 1 or 2) so i could have the most insane roll of my life off this new producer's stuff that was supposedly amazing. I was feeling pretty fuckin great at my peak, then things spiraled downward for a few main reasons. The biggest was that I was in a new and unfamiliar place, and i tend to have worse comedowns and sometimes even trips when im rolling in a new environment with new people.
I was hardcore hallucinating, every 5 minutes i was in a new situation talking to a new person. When i opened my eyes after having them closed i had that thing BAD, where your vision is like a TV screen that is jumping side to side extremely fast. I was stretching and shuffling in my seat (as always) except this time i had to have every muscle in my body flexed constantly, and i seemed to come down faster than usual, but in actuality this was just a really bad trip. I suddenly felt like i couldnt use ANY of my muscles, standing up was incredibly difficult, talking scared the shit outta me cause i had no clue what to say or how to respond on a basic human level. I basically sat there like a vegetable glancing back and fourth anxiously at the people around me as i clamped my jaw till it had cuts the next day.
I had MAD focus, so the coffee table we did lines on was like a person to me, like a buddy i was roling with, though it turned on me at one point and i thought it was conspiring against someone close to me so i stared it down for a good hour to weaken it.
Once i decided to get up and test my limp muscles, i stumbled over to the bathroom because i realized i hadn't gone in a while. (on the way there i grabbed a full cup of a clear liquid that i thought was water, which turned out to be straight Greygoose vodka.)
Looking in the mirror was TERRIFYING, i remember being so scared i ran out after i touched my face while glancing at myself and thought i created deep black cuts with my fingers into my cheek.
When i got home, i was paranoid for the next 2 days and refused to leave my room. I had to have lights on constantly and wouldnt close my eyes for more than a minute thinking someone else was in the room watching me and making sure i didn't notice them. (watched a Rob Zombie film during the roll the night before.. not smart)
i had like noo bladder muscle control so i kept peeing myself every like 15 minutes and couldnt do shit about it.
all that and random outbursts of depression and tears, that was the worst experience ive ever had on MDMA.
