Zpider2533
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2013
- Messages
- 2
Hi guys. I have been a long time viewer first time poster. Ill keep my background as short as I can. I'm a shift worker in the healthcare profession that has indulged in weed/pills from time to time at a young age. Recently last year me and a few mates hit the mdma weekly for around 6 months. I never understood the concept of this shit being like a MasterCard but it is, and I'm certainly paying interest right now.
Have the usual symptoms you could expect - bouts of anxiety, insomnia, poor short term memory, mood swings, slightly impaired ability to make decisions (very important in my job as people's healthcare is my responsibility). I have kicked the mdma/coke for 3 months now cold turkey but continued to smoke a bit of weed on and off. In the end I realised this was only adding to my anxiety and have now given that up for good as of last week. I feel like my whole serotonin system is burnt and my stressful job does not help. This place has been great though to see that there are other people out there that are going through the same thing I am. I am determined to get back to a position of nil drug use/abstinence at all for at least the next year (besides alcohol socially and in moderation - which I have never had a problem with)
My plan of attack has been taking 5HTP at night along with valerian for the anxiety related insomnia and a St. John's wart formulation in the day. My only crutch left is my diazepam which indulged in last night (40mg). I have 50mg left in my bottle. Honest opinion guys should I try and just use this sparingly in the day and at night if needed to combat the anxiety for the next week or 2? I have binged on benzo's many times before and fear I may replace the weed etc with diazepam which I can get in unlimited quantities.. I do not want to be addicted to that instead. Should I just throw the bottle out guys??
Some words of encouragement from you awesome guys that seem to have been down my road and conquered it would be great.. I feel like this has got such a big hold over me (no one but me knows) and I just want to feel normal again! Sorry I realise this ended up a little long. Thanks to anyone that took the time and could offer some help. Cheers.
Have the usual symptoms you could expect - bouts of anxiety, insomnia, poor short term memory, mood swings, slightly impaired ability to make decisions (very important in my job as people's healthcare is my responsibility). I have kicked the mdma/coke for 3 months now cold turkey but continued to smoke a bit of weed on and off. In the end I realised this was only adding to my anxiety and have now given that up for good as of last week. I feel like my whole serotonin system is burnt and my stressful job does not help. This place has been great though to see that there are other people out there that are going through the same thing I am. I am determined to get back to a position of nil drug use/abstinence at all for at least the next year (besides alcohol socially and in moderation - which I have never had a problem with)
My plan of attack has been taking 5HTP at night along with valerian for the anxiety related insomnia and a St. John's wart formulation in the day. My only crutch left is my diazepam which indulged in last night (40mg). I have 50mg left in my bottle. Honest opinion guys should I try and just use this sparingly in the day and at night if needed to combat the anxiety for the next week or 2? I have binged on benzo's many times before and fear I may replace the weed etc with diazepam which I can get in unlimited quantities.. I do not want to be addicted to that instead. Should I just throw the bottle out guys??
Some words of encouragement from you awesome guys that seem to have been down my road and conquered it would be great.. I feel like this has got such a big hold over me (no one but me knows) and I just want to feel normal again! Sorry I realise this ended up a little long. Thanks to anyone that took the time and could offer some help. Cheers.
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.. It is pretty common for people who are cleaning up and newly clean to have these symptoms. A physical dependence to benzos come with a heavy withdrawal and often some really intense PAWS so i would not take that route. I would encourage you to take up some sort of aerobic exercise as this will help with the anxiety and help promote the neuroregulation needed to feel "normal" Here are some good links that may provide you with some good information. Also to promote the healing you need it would be advisable that you refrain from any drug use. I wish you the best of luck. 