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post-MDMA/alco binge problems :(

carl0s

carl0s

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 24, 2007
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142
I'm a fairly seasonsed MDMA user.

Got my own place finally, and erm, had a bit of a mad bender the weekend before last, which will have been about 9 - 10 days ago. My bender started on the Friday night. It is now Wednesday night of the following week, so there has been a week of recovering, and a clean weekend, and I'm still unwell.

The remaining issue is a very sore jaw and teeth, and panic/anxiety/stress feelings.

I think the panic and anxiety and stress was caused by my head basically feeling super-foggy for most of last week, after the brain shocks stopped. I felt like I was brain damaged, but I have come to think that actually it was just swolen jaw causing the foggy head (ear, eye area). My bender started on Friday night. I got through 6 bottles of Cava, a lot of MDMA, couple of 0.5mg Xanax, one or two Zopiclone tablets, and a little bit of something viagra-like (hey, I got horny..). Unfortunatley the panic/anxiety is set in now and it is of course a viscious cycle of fear/doubt.

I wonder, do you think my jaw will get better by itself? It's been about 9 days. If it wasn't for everything still looking and feeling a bit odd, I might just be fine. I kind of feel a bit cracked out still. A bit like a benzo addict in need of some valium. Yes I did have a tiny bit of a benzo in my cocktail, but not a lot, and I haven't been using them at all other than that - I bought them as a tester on behalf of somebody.

I have washed all my MDMA down the sink, and have deleted my hushmail* account so that I can never get hold of drugs like this again. It's time for me to move on.

*not actually hushmail, but it's a secret.

In years gone by, I have had general anxiety problems, and it now feels like I have undone some my development. I just took a little venlafaxine and I'm expecting to be back on that for at least a few months now, but I don't really want to talk to the Doc just yet if I can avoid it. I have some venlafaxine on hand and can order more. I hope I've not used up my luck though - it has already fixed me once or twice before.

So, jaw sore after 9 days.. quite uncomfortable.. Any ideas? And I'm cracking up, either as a result of the jaw, or just at the same time.
 
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First off, take a deep breath you will be ok.

The thing is you went to hard and your brain is a miraculous thing, it will try to protect you in anyway it can. The hurting jaw will go away with time, and it should at least not be as painful as at it's most intense. If it still hurts just as much in 3 or 4 days, then see a doctor because you could have tissue damage or cartilage damage, which can be fixed.

The brain fog is your brain's defense mechanism and it will subside. Your body is trying to restore balance and it can be a long road. I had brain fog for 3 days after my first and only weed experience that went horribly wrong. I freaked out because I thought my brain was stuck in a loop with deja vu and I was having an extreme panick attack. My brain stayed foggy for 3 days and it subsided.

I went to see a psychologist years ago to talk about other issues and the issue of brain fog came up and he told me that it's a defense mechanism in your brain.

MDMA should not be abused, you need to learn your limits and stay within them; that being said; eat healthy, get some well needed exercise that will make your body produce the missing chemicals (e.g. Seratonin) and if there is ever a next time, be smart and be safe. Listen to that voice in your head that says that maybe you should stop or warn your friends to stop you if you are like many who's little voice goes away in times of excess.


You will be fine!
 
Thanks. I'm already past the crying, worrying and praying stage. I had a panic attack at Tesco, and was worried I was going to become somewhat agoraphobic - driving past shops seeing how many people were in there before deciding not to go in, and avoiding seeing customers and family. That phase is gone and I am getting on with my work and seeing family etc.

I feel a lot better today after the 37.5mg venlafaxine that I took last night. I'm going to take some more shortly. My previous 'fix', over a year or two, on two separate occasions, was 75mg in the morning and 37.5mg at night.. else you couldn't get out of bed for the brain shocks in the morning!

So, going to see how I fare on 37.5mg in the daytime, and .. a little at night.

I feel kind of wired right now but in a bright good way. Just a little clammy and over-perked though. So much better than yesterday.
Bye bye sex drive.
 
I did that. I rowed 5kms and then the same the next day.
I seemed to become hypersensitive to venlafaxine, and was almost frightened of my own shadow the morning after a comparatively low dose. Let me tell you that I am now finally in a very good state, but it has taken a little (5mg) of diazepam per day to help with the feelings. My serotonin system is 90% right, with just a little residual brain shock/zap electricery apparent at times (as per ssri discontinuation syndrome).

I clearly suffered serotonin toxicity by continuing to consume stupid amounta of mdma hours after the come down.
 
Thanks.

I had to take up chewing gum as well.. I never chew gum, but it has helped!

The 5mg valium has just been of an evening for the past ~4 days. It's a low dose, and has such a long half life and gentle onset that I don't expect to have any problems, but the benefits carry on through to the next day. I won't take it for long. I haven't had any tonight and don't intend to either.

I basically currently have a lower than normal stress threshold (work, staring at computers, etc.).. that's the only effect that's left. So I'm getting better each day.

It was easily 3 weeks of hell though, and when you work for/by yourself, with a commitment to various customers, it's not a good thing to go through at all.

In my years (10 or so) of quite regular (somtimes every weekend, at home with gf) MDMA use, I have always been fine by Tuesday/Wednesday, after a Friday night session.

This time around, I was in my new house (1 month in), by myself, and I think this made things so much harder to cope with.

To recap though, I started on the MDMA 8pm on Friday. By ~10am Saturday I was still having my soaks in the bath with candles & the radio, and I was capping and eating more MDMA, and then more MDMA, and then some more. At some time around Saturday evening, the zopiclone & xanax put me to sleep, or maybe it was the 6 bottles of cava, and I awoke on Sunday morning with candles still burning by the side of my bed. I still had 3/4 of a bottle of Cava left (bottle no7), so I drank that on Sunday morning.

I also flooded the house while filling the bath at some point too...

It's clear that living alone with access to drugs is a bad thing for me.

The thing is though, I am not a stupid person, but when I am coming down off MDMA-intoxication, I will do/take anything. I used to have to get my missus to hide the 2CB/2CE because I knew I would end up taking some when I came down off the MDMA. I ended up washing that stuff down the sink too. I just can't control myself on MDMA. I'll do anything to keep the high, or try to get it back. It worries me. I'm frightened that if I had access to heroin I might end up doing it under those circumstances.

Anyway, I have cut my ties with all that now. Here's to a wealthy future and good business, work, home life and hobbies. I have lots of hobbies that I'm able to get excited about again now that I'm feeling more normal, and I have been doing great with my customers/jobs this last week.
 
good luck getting back on track, i can tell from how talk you will not lose control like i hear some people doing. you have identified where you went wrong and that it needs fixing.
 
I'm glad you responded to the bump on this thread.
It is always good to hear of quick recovery.

I must admit that several times in the first two to three months I predicted, rather firmly, that I was nearly complete with my recovery.
How WRONG I was...

Yet I remember several stories of people with anxiety/brain zaps that stopped within weeks.
I determined that after about three months, if one continues to suffer significantly, that you are likely to experience the typical 12-24 month recovery process.

With every rule there are exceptions.
But 'rule of thumb' is pretty damned efficient.

No matter what - do NOT stop exercising.
I started about four weeks into my suffering and OH MY GOD did it help.
And I haven't stopped since.

To this day nothing makes a greater impact.
So keep it up, no matter how good you feel.
Only time will tell what you are destined for.

I do NOT recommend regular use of Benzos.
They are miraculous for short term use, but they slowly increase glutamate in the brain.
This is the brain's primary excitatory neurotransmitter, and it will cause CELL death in high amounts.
So whatever you do, do NOT keep taking that stuff daily.

And effexor, like most SSRIs, can cause damage on its own.
I have known several former MDMA users that SWORE by an SSRI only to regret their decision later.
And that reaction you describe - classic akathesia.

It is a sign of dopamine inhibition in the nigrostriatal pathway.
Akathesia, a feeling of intense restlessness, is associated with suicidality and psychosis in SSRI users.
Do NOT continue taking the medication if this occurs.

Serotonin inhibits dopamine in three of the four main dopamine pathways.
It is one of the reasons that MDMA has such a powerful effect - it pushes back on dopamine and eventually LETS go.
Luck a rubber band being snapped!

Just because taking an SNRI makes you feel normal for now, doesn't mean it isn't damaging you further.
Many people have regretted taking SSRIs and SNRIs - so consider yourself warned.
NOTHING will substitute for the rewiring of the brain.

Except maybe intense exercise.
Good luck.
 
This sounds so much like my story! With out the other drugs though. I went through dozens of stages thinking I'm cured and that I'm normal but with out realising the symptoms would just change! But the
Anxiety has been there through out the hole time! It's exactly 4 months since my binge and I just feel a little in normal! But I only feel this When I'm doing nothing! Sat still! If I'm moving or walking I feel
Great! But sat at my desk all day for a job doesn't help! I too have Clients and find it hard to deal
With stress! I hope some day this gets better! I hope So as the company I work for is expanding rapidly ! I do not doubt you will have more suffering to come! Simply cause of the fact you re dosed so much! As did I! I'm convinced I look nearly 4grams of MDMA, which was pretty pure! I had half an ounce of the stuff! I ended up flushing 4 grams
S away! Between 3 people we consumed 14 grams in one weekend! It was disgusting! I simply had to back ground understanding of the drug! I wish I was warned! It was my first and last time !
 
papoose said:
This sounds so much like my story! With out the other drugs though. I went through dozens of stages thinking I'm cured and that I'm normal but with out realising the symptoms would just change! But the
Anxiety has been there through out the hole time! It's exactly 4 months since my binge and I just feel a little in normal! But I only feel this When I'm doing nothing! Sat still! If I'm moving or walking I feel
Great! But sat at my desk all day for a job doesn't help! I too have Clients and find it hard to deal
With stress! I hope some day this gets better! I hope So as the company I work for is expanding rapidly ! I do not doubt you will have more suffering to come! Simply cause of the fact you re dosed so much! As did I! I'm convinced I look nearly 4grams of MDMA, which was pretty pure! I had half an ounce of the stuff! I ended up flushing 4 grams
S away! Between 3 people we consumed 14 grams in one weekend! It was disgusting! I simply had to back ground understanding of the drug! I wish I was warned! It was my first and last time !
Click to expand...


Wow that's bad man. Consuming 4 grams in a single weekend is absolutely insane. You really don't need to do anymore than half a gram to have a jolly time.
 
I quit the venlafaxine almost right away, however I have long experience of using it, over two 7-year apart, erm, breakdowns I suppose, and I have always got on like a house on fire with it. I fucking loved the stuff. When I stopped loving it, I knew it was time to quit it and that I was better. Now those are some serious brain shocks.. effexor withdrawal.. but it stops after 3 days. I had that same severity of brain shocks from this MDMA binge though, which was surprising. I often get brain shocks after an MDMA session but only mild ones. Redosing so heavily was a very bad idea.

I'm chewing a lot of gum. This really is making a difference, purely because I feel quite a bit of tension around my jaw and temple area. In fact I am going to sleep chewing gum, lol :D

I am all too aware of the dangers of benzo's. I went through lorazepam addiction and withdrawal about 12 years ago. In fact it was diazepam that helped get me back to normal - thanks to its slow onset/offset, and the availability of strawberry flavoured diazepam juice that you baby-syringe into your mouth - reducing by 1ml every week or two.

Anyway, yes I will get back into my exercise routine. Before getting this house, I was in a great routine of weights every other day, but I don't have that routine going here at all. I did some weights today. The rowing is a problem because I am thin enough now and more rowing is just going to keep making me thinner.

Can we have a bit more positivity though please? I don't need to hear that you guys think I am wrong to think I am feeling better. That's not helpful. Ever hear of mind over matter?
 
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I have been continuing to take diazepam (2.5mg - 5mg over two days), but I don't intend to keep this up. Whilst reading up on the current state of anxiolytics I remembered that I have a few hundred pills of pregabalin lying around, so I started taking that today.

I quit the zopiclone too. I had been taking it for too long without a break.. although it's rarely caused issues in the past - just a few restless nights upon cessation, but I had not had a break from it for a while.

Since the venlfaxine did seem to help - but I was hypersensitive to it, I decided to try a weak SSRI - St. John's Wort.

So my current regime is:

3 miles rowing a day, with the occasional day off
half hour weights session/day, with the occasional day off
400mg SAM-e in the morning
St. John's Wort 3x day
Passionflower & hops extract 3x day
75mg pregabalin once or twice a day.. will see how that pans out.
Lots of chewing gum.
2.5mg diazepam every other day, with the ocassional additional 2.5mg. Intending to cut this out altogether if the above cocktail works by itself.
 
I agree, the brain is an amazing creation. It can go through so much and recover, it may not seem like it but you are only feeling like this due to the drugs. It will get better, if you feel like you're loosing it, think of something that keeps pushing you to live and be strong. For me it's the thought of proving to myself I am in control my mind, think of what ever makes you stay fighting. It's perhaps a bit cliche but it helps :)
 
carl0s said:
I have been continuing to take diazepam (2.5mg - 5mg over two days), but I don't intend to keep this up. Whilst reading up on the current state of anxiolytics I remembered that I have a few hundred pills of pregabalin lying around, so I started taking that today.

I quit the zopiclone too. I had been taking it for too long without a break.. although it's rarely caused issues in the past - just a few restless nights upon cessation, but I had not had a break from it for a while.

Since the venlfaxine did seem to help - but I was hypersensitive to it, I decided to try a weak SSRI - St. John's Wort.

So my current regime is:

3 miles rowing a day, with the occasional day off
half hour weights session/day, with the occasional day off
400mg SAM-e in the morning
St. John's Wort 3x day
Passionflower & hops extract 3x day
75mg pregabalin once or twice a day.. will see how that pans out.
Lots of chewing gum.
2.5mg diazepam every other day, with the ocassional additional 2.5mg. Intending to cut this out altogether if the above cocktail works by itself.
Click to expand...

I'd love to go rowing!!! haha

As for the chewing gum, Go easy on that because the sweeteners in it are bad!

Ideally with mdma, if someone wishes to enjoy the substance and not suffer barely any side effects from it, they will only use one dose every 30 - 90 days (ive found 60 days is a good amount of time to wait)
You need to give your brain a chance to recover, rewire and replenish its lots neurochemicals.
 
Darksidesam said:
I'd love to go rowing!!! haha

As for the chewing gum, Go easy on that because the sweeteners in it are bad!

Ideally with mdma, if someone wishes to enjoy the substance and not suffer barely any side effects from it, they will only use one dose every 30 - 90 days (ive found 60 days is a good amount of time to wait)
You need to give your brain a chance to recover, rewire and replenish its lots neurochemicals.
Click to expand...

LOL I don't actually go rowing :D I have a waterrower. My conservatory is now a gym. I love it.
Regarding the "daily herbs & spices cocktail".. well.. it's possibly just the initial euphoria I heard of (pregabalin), but I feel good, which is especially odd considering I've been up 'til 4 or 4:30am the last three nights, and out of bed before 9am. OTOH the euphoria might be because I've been up chatting to a girl that I met who might be special :)
No diazepam since Sunday.
 
After a week of being number one of the world, I'm, erm.. well yeah the symptoms are still here. Hard to get out of bed due to slight sick feeling. A lot of that is when I think about work and stuff, but it shouldn't be.. I'm in a great position work wise, as long as I don't procrastinate the hours away, and actually do the relatively easy job that I am good at.
When it's hard to get out of bed, I notice the brain zaps are still mildly going on, along with some mild ringing in the ears (tinnitus).

I have a lot of hope for the pregabalin treatment, and when/if I'm sure about it, I'll ask the doc to precribe it.
I am experimenting by dropping the St. John's Wort altogether. There's a chance that this may be diminishing the effects of the pregabalin.
I dropped the SAM-e a couple of days ago too, for the reasons above. I may add it back in if dropping STJW makes me feel better, just to see what happens.

I don't think I'm going to drop the herbal chill pills though (supermarket equivalent to 'Kalms' - Valerian root, Passionflower, Hops).

Don't mess with drugs kids.
 
Lol stick some big canvas sketches of rivers beside your rowing machine!

As you can see OP. Binges never end well! Take care
 
Darksidesam said:
Lol stick some big canvas sketches of rivers beside your rowing machine!

As you can see OP. Binges never end well! Take care
Click to expand...

LOL thanks Sam. On a sunny day I just open the blinds (it's in the conservatory).. works well enough. Bit of Winwood on the iPod. Awesome :D
 
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