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Post heroin depression after one single use....wtf.....

bdomihizayka

bdomihizayka

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Joined
Jul 30, 2012
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582
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Down the rabbit hole
So I relapsed on heroin. 4 bags... over the course of 2 days... I don't remember any of it, but I know I over did it because my parents came by my place and saw me and took me to the hospital. My oxygen levels were significantly down and I blamed everything on some coricidin with vicodin for tooth pain, which neither I really took.

I get post heroin depression. I feel comatose. It's been 4 days, and all I can do is lay in bed and look at the walls. I have no endorphins in my brains. After the ONE relapse. This always happens, but this time, for some reason, the depression and emptiness is largely greater.

I have friends from Russia coming in to NYC and I am suppose to meet them and show them the city. I would normally be elated, but right now I feel like it;s a chore to go and see my best friends I barely ever see..

Does anyone else suffer post heroin depression, even after one use?

This has GOT to be my rock bottom... the high is definitely not worth the emotional angst after the heroin use. The tip of the iceberg isn't appealing anymore.
 
A lot of it can be psychosomatic with a relapse like that ime. Make sure you're actively doing the simple basics that can help combat depression (good sleep pattern, exercise, eating well etc).
 
I usually am really good with my health, believe it or not. I body build and watch what goes in my mouth...sleep and food are really second nature to me... but you are right, it definitely may be psychosomatic.... I am a very guillable person... if you told me you put a curse on me, I would probably commit suicide..... but whatever it is... I just want to feel normal again...good fucking grief.
 
Correct, for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction.... but in this case, the reaction is about 100x's worse than the initial action.... fml.
 
Yup, I can understand being in the position of using opiates making you fucked up for an unreasonably long amount of time. After doing six or so smack/methadone clucks in a year I kept getting clean, just about starting to feel better and then using again and by the end just relapsing for a few days would leave me feeling fucking rotten in wd for over a week. When you start stacking up those detoxes it really takes it out of your body.
 
You know the old saying.. rock bottom is when ever we decide to stop digging.. After being off the drugs for awhile It always astounded me how awful they can make me feel. I guess it just becomes the new norm when I was living in that all the time so I didn't realize how hard they burn me right out.. like others have said get some exercise, sleep, and recover.
 
When I first started using like 8 years ago, the next day after I would always feel so terribly depressed. Sometimes I'd just cry all day. Which was weird because, I never cry. The side effect was so bad, I actually stopped using dope for like six months because of it. I do believe it used to intensify my already established depression & would just bring on my symptoms. Now that I've got my depression/anxiety under control, I never get this feeling the day after now.

I know it's easier said than done, maybe you need to get outside, do some exercise, eat some healthy food. Eventually I tired this, and guess what, it worked.
 
this roller coaster will continue till you get like 6 months clean.
a days use will set you seriously back.
I needed long time suboxone treatment to get through the depression part.
 
As others have said, with that 'feeling' so fresh in your mind it's only natural to want to go back and, upon recognizing that you can't (and shouldn't!) go back, feeling down. It happens to me EVERY time an unfortunate opiate relapse occurs and then ends.

I am left feeling that "I can't live with it... But I feel like I can't live WITHOUT it!"
Of course, by that point, I just feel bewildered. :(

Give it time. Don't get hung up on the 'why' as the answer to that question is relatively simple. Instead, attempt to focus your energies on A. Abstinence and B. Prevention of future instances. Without a good, rock-solid game plan, you're well-enough doomed to understand all-too-well the 'cyclic' nature of the beast, I'm afraid...
 
I appreciate everyone's responses here; I took them all to heart. This place has really been supportive of me in and out of my use over the years. I love yous and pray for healthy recoveries for all of you kind people. x
 
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