cherub
Bluelighter
I've asked for this to be posted anonymously, based on the fact that this is extremely personal to me, and due to the quite explicit nature of it. i'm pretty much describing, in great detail, what my husband and i like to do to eachother, and have done... it is a fantasy i have about my husband and I. No, more than a fantasy, as i fully believe that this will happen one day (the sailing around the world part) ...maybe not word for word, but something like it.
I was hoping that some of the authors/poets/writers on the board may be able to offer me a constructive critique? I've never written erotic fiction before, and i'm not sure about what words to use, how to phrase certain acts, and i'm afraid that it may be seen as a little...hmmm...corny? To me it's not, because, well, because they are my feelings. However, i'd love to hear some feedback.
The Island.
We've finally made it. We circle the island twice to ascertain that it is, in fact, deserted.
This is the moment we've been waiting for. All of our frustration, hopes, arguments, trials and tribulations have led to this point. As we slowly sail into the sheltered bay of Shell Island, you move toward me and take me into your arms. "We did it baby" you softly whisper while you stare down at me. "Yes" I reply just as softly. You move to the front of the vessel, and I admire your form as you move effortlessly among the web of ropes, pulleys and levers.
We anchor our vessel, a 36ft catamaran, gather some food, wine, blankets, pillows, bits and pieces. After lowering the lifeboat, we make our way to shore. The water is the deepest blue we have ever seen in any of our travels around the world, and as we reach the shallows, it transforms from the deepest of dark blue to an aqua so brilliant, it’s almost blinding.. .it is so very crystal clear, it looks like blue gel. I let my hand glide through the water and find it to the perfect temperature.. .lovely and cool, but not enough to give a chill. The weather is absolutely perfect.. .a balmy day with only the gentlest of breezes that didn't move the sand. As we approach the beach, a light wind picks up and I feel my skin kissed with breeze so warm, I feel as though I’m sitting in front of a log fire. We reach the beach and are delighted to find, growing wild, coconuts, bananas and papaya. This will be a great inclusion to our lunch and we start to gather some fruit.
As the beach is deserted, we feel no need for bathing suits, so strip down to only very light sarongs. We lay our blankets and pillows among some coconut palms which we see will offer just the right amount of shade for the whole day. We then set about eating up a storm. Sailing, sand, salt water and balmy weather give both of us ravenous appetites for food.. .and other indulgences...
After finishing our brunch and bottle of wine, we lay down to digest our food. You motion for me to move over to you with my pillow and I snuggle up beside you, wrapping my leg and arm over your body. I can feel the effect that the close proximity of our bodies has on you ...you start getting hard under my leg. The perfect blend of wine, good food and an ideal setting evokes in us a range of emotions, but the giddiness of the wine wins out and we both doze off in each other’s arms.
We both wake up after about 1/2 an hour later with glistening perspiration over our bodies and decide that a dip in the ocean would be just the elixir we need. We untie our sarongs and stare intently at each other for a moment, as we always do when confronted with each others nakedness. I then start running toward the ocean with you in hot pursuit. This turns into a very sexy game of cat and mouse, as you chase me through the waves. We start splashing each other, getting closer and closer, until we are in each others arms once again. You hold me like a vice and pull me onto you, kissing me so very deeply. I wrap my legs around you , and we embrace for what seems like forever. I can feel your cock getting hard and pushing up against me. I move to make it easier for you to slip inside me, but you break the kiss and give me a look that can still make me melt after all this time. "Not yet" you say...
You let me go and we wander back to our little space under the palms. You pour me another glass of wine, and we lay back looking up at the perfect blue sky. I wonder at what I must have done in my previous lives to have been so charmed in this life. A partner who I’m attracted to physically, mentally and spiritually, becoming more so every day, even after 6 years together. We have sailed to every continent, have immersed ourselves in so many different cultures, we have seen amazing sights…we have made our dreams come true. What perfects this all is that we’ve experienced it together. Every amazing sight, sound, taste, scent and feeling of this journey is connected to you.
You roll over to me and start stroking my face. I look into your eyes and see my feelings for you reflected in those amazing eyes that that are so deep, they appear fathomless and to me, contain the wisdom of the ages. Nothing needs to be said now.... it's all metaphysical and unconscious. We have danced this dance countless times and know the moves by heart. I put my hands on either side of your face and pull you to me for a soft kiss...You've shaved. So smooth...it's as though you knew today was going to be a memorable day....
You move over to me completely and press your body against mine. You then open my legs and climb in between them, resting your elbows under my arms. I wrap my legs around your back and you kiss me openly and deeply, we explore each others mouths with our tongues, and lick each others lips. My whole body is throbbing now... You can sense this and slowly start kissing my neck, my nipples and breasts, my belly, my hip bones (one of your favourite parts of my body).. .finally your reach my pussy.. You look up to me with that devilish grin again, and your eyes say “ahh, but not yet, I’m going to make you moan”.. .which I do. You start by ever so lightly running your tongue down the length of my labia.. .a feather touch. This makes me quiver.. .you continue doing this for an agonisingly long time.. .each stroke conjures up anticipation of what it will feel like when your tongue actually comes into contact with my clit. After what feels like an ecstasy-filled age, you, very gently, slip your tongue in between my lips and glide it down one side of my clit. I nearly jump out of my skin. You then do the same to the other side. I nearly jump out of my skin again. Each stroke is a soft long lap that you know is driving me crazy, yet you continue to do this, maintaining eye contact with me all the time…so diabolical. The insane longing you see in my eyes and feel in my body excites you to no end. You then open my legs more so my clit is exposed. you flatten out your tongue and start lapping at my pussy from the bottom to the top ...but not too hard, you want to keep teasing me, building the tension.... just when I’m about to explode, you feel that the time has come, and you're going to let me have an orgasm. You start increasing the speed slowly, and the laps become a little firmer.. .you start combining the laps with little darts of your tongue. My vision has become blurred, I look up and see a palette of blue and green, interspersed with tiny white dots that are whirring in my field of vision. I close my eyes and give in to my orgasm. I explode with pleasure and am writhing about on your face but you hold me tight, slowly easing the pressure to just light kisses and sucks ...I feel like I have been reborn. As with every orgasm you give me, I marvel and am again completely amazed that I have found a man who responds to my body’s every signal and knows what I love inside and out.
I was hoping that some of the authors/poets/writers on the board may be able to offer me a constructive critique? I've never written erotic fiction before, and i'm not sure about what words to use, how to phrase certain acts, and i'm afraid that it may be seen as a little...hmmm...corny? To me it's not, because, well, because they are my feelings. However, i'd love to hear some feedback.
The Island.
We've finally made it. We circle the island twice to ascertain that it is, in fact, deserted.
This is the moment we've been waiting for. All of our frustration, hopes, arguments, trials and tribulations have led to this point. As we slowly sail into the sheltered bay of Shell Island, you move toward me and take me into your arms. "We did it baby" you softly whisper while you stare down at me. "Yes" I reply just as softly. You move to the front of the vessel, and I admire your form as you move effortlessly among the web of ropes, pulleys and levers.
We anchor our vessel, a 36ft catamaran, gather some food, wine, blankets, pillows, bits and pieces. After lowering the lifeboat, we make our way to shore. The water is the deepest blue we have ever seen in any of our travels around the world, and as we reach the shallows, it transforms from the deepest of dark blue to an aqua so brilliant, it’s almost blinding.. .it is so very crystal clear, it looks like blue gel. I let my hand glide through the water and find it to the perfect temperature.. .lovely and cool, but not enough to give a chill. The weather is absolutely perfect.. .a balmy day with only the gentlest of breezes that didn't move the sand. As we approach the beach, a light wind picks up and I feel my skin kissed with breeze so warm, I feel as though I’m sitting in front of a log fire. We reach the beach and are delighted to find, growing wild, coconuts, bananas and papaya. This will be a great inclusion to our lunch and we start to gather some fruit.
As the beach is deserted, we feel no need for bathing suits, so strip down to only very light sarongs. We lay our blankets and pillows among some coconut palms which we see will offer just the right amount of shade for the whole day. We then set about eating up a storm. Sailing, sand, salt water and balmy weather give both of us ravenous appetites for food.. .and other indulgences...
After finishing our brunch and bottle of wine, we lay down to digest our food. You motion for me to move over to you with my pillow and I snuggle up beside you, wrapping my leg and arm over your body. I can feel the effect that the close proximity of our bodies has on you ...you start getting hard under my leg. The perfect blend of wine, good food and an ideal setting evokes in us a range of emotions, but the giddiness of the wine wins out and we both doze off in each other’s arms.
We both wake up after about 1/2 an hour later with glistening perspiration over our bodies and decide that a dip in the ocean would be just the elixir we need. We untie our sarongs and stare intently at each other for a moment, as we always do when confronted with each others nakedness. I then start running toward the ocean with you in hot pursuit. This turns into a very sexy game of cat and mouse, as you chase me through the waves. We start splashing each other, getting closer and closer, until we are in each others arms once again. You hold me like a vice and pull me onto you, kissing me so very deeply. I wrap my legs around you , and we embrace for what seems like forever. I can feel your cock getting hard and pushing up against me. I move to make it easier for you to slip inside me, but you break the kiss and give me a look that can still make me melt after all this time. "Not yet" you say...
You let me go and we wander back to our little space under the palms. You pour me another glass of wine, and we lay back looking up at the perfect blue sky. I wonder at what I must have done in my previous lives to have been so charmed in this life. A partner who I’m attracted to physically, mentally and spiritually, becoming more so every day, even after 6 years together. We have sailed to every continent, have immersed ourselves in so many different cultures, we have seen amazing sights…we have made our dreams come true. What perfects this all is that we’ve experienced it together. Every amazing sight, sound, taste, scent and feeling of this journey is connected to you.
You roll over to me and start stroking my face. I look into your eyes and see my feelings for you reflected in those amazing eyes that that are so deep, they appear fathomless and to me, contain the wisdom of the ages. Nothing needs to be said now.... it's all metaphysical and unconscious. We have danced this dance countless times and know the moves by heart. I put my hands on either side of your face and pull you to me for a soft kiss...You've shaved. So smooth...it's as though you knew today was going to be a memorable day....
You move over to me completely and press your body against mine. You then open my legs and climb in between them, resting your elbows under my arms. I wrap my legs around your back and you kiss me openly and deeply, we explore each others mouths with our tongues, and lick each others lips. My whole body is throbbing now... You can sense this and slowly start kissing my neck, my nipples and breasts, my belly, my hip bones (one of your favourite parts of my body).. .finally your reach my pussy.. You look up to me with that devilish grin again, and your eyes say “ahh, but not yet, I’m going to make you moan”.. .which I do. You start by ever so lightly running your tongue down the length of my labia.. .a feather touch. This makes me quiver.. .you continue doing this for an agonisingly long time.. .each stroke conjures up anticipation of what it will feel like when your tongue actually comes into contact with my clit. After what feels like an ecstasy-filled age, you, very gently, slip your tongue in between my lips and glide it down one side of my clit. I nearly jump out of my skin. You then do the same to the other side. I nearly jump out of my skin again. Each stroke is a soft long lap that you know is driving me crazy, yet you continue to do this, maintaining eye contact with me all the time…so diabolical. The insane longing you see in my eyes and feel in my body excites you to no end. You then open my legs more so my clit is exposed. you flatten out your tongue and start lapping at my pussy from the bottom to the top ...but not too hard, you want to keep teasing me, building the tension.... just when I’m about to explode, you feel that the time has come, and you're going to let me have an orgasm. You start increasing the speed slowly, and the laps become a little firmer.. .you start combining the laps with little darts of your tongue. My vision has become blurred, I look up and see a palette of blue and green, interspersed with tiny white dots that are whirring in my field of vision. I close my eyes and give in to my orgasm. I explode with pleasure and am writhing about on your face but you hold me tight, slowly easing the pressure to just light kisses and sucks ...I feel like I have been reborn. As with every orgasm you give me, I marvel and am again completely amazed that I have found a man who responds to my body’s every signal and knows what I love inside and out.
