Thank you for sharing all that you have been going through with us. "Wherever there's hope, there's a trial." The Recovery Forums are decidedly my all personal favorite resources and community. Bluelight has persisted with me for a whole decade, now. That in and of itself is testament to its strength, fueled by love and respect. Thanks for joining as a member
And now, then...
Ar4r4xis said:
any articles or sciencey stuff to reference are welcome
...
let's get all scholarly up in this house
Alcohol absolutely is correlated with depression. So intimately, in fact, that chronic depression is almost a
symptom itself of heavy, sustained drinking.
Depression and alcohol.
Specifically:
Article said:
Comorbidity between depression and alcoholism
Depression and alcoholism are associated with considerable morbidity, disability, and mortality, and co-occur more commonly than expected by chance.3–,8 The extent of comorbidity between depression and alcoholism was demonstrated by the results of several large epidemiological studies.3–,7 The National Comorbidity Survey (NCS), a nationally representative survey in the US, found that compared with non-depressed respondents in the NCS, the lifetime odds of alcohol dependence were significantly elevated for both men (2.95) and women (4.05) with major depression.7 Conversely, NCS data demonstrated a two-fold increase in the lifetime odds of depression among subjects with alcohol dependence.6 Spaner et al.3 examined the comorbidity between major depression and alcohol dependence in Edmonton, Canada, and found that 30.5% of individuals with an affective disorder also met criteria for alcohol dependence, compared with only 16.8% of those who did not have an affective disorder. Similarly, the National Longitudinal Alcohol Epidemiology Study demonstrated that amongst those with major depression, 32.5% met criteria for a lifetime diagnosis of alcohol dependence, compared with only 11.2% of those who did not meet criteria for major depression.4 Rates of depression are more elevated among people who seek treatment for alcoholism.8 Possibly, some of this elevated comorbidity may be due to increased treatment-seeking among people with alcoholism who also experience symptoms of depression.
I suggest reading the whole article - that journal was kind enough to provide it online full-text/PDF for free(!!!!!).
I, too, fit the nicotine bill, despite the fact that I use electronic cigarettes, now. It's quite a predictor for situations like yours (just like mine), according to the following study:
Depressive Symptoms and Cigarette Smoking Among Teens
I, myself, am at no loss for words after having read the article. I'd always been aware that the 'friends' I had in High School and College almost all uniformly smoked as much as I did. I find the same thing outside of a lot of the recovery meetings I attend for myself these days.
Clinical Observations in Manic-Depressive Disease
Here's another link suggesting a strong, positive correlate between alcohol and, this time, a particular type of depression. Of note:
Article3 said:
Increase in alcoholic ingestion was common in the manic-depressive patient. Family history showed significantly more "alcoholic" fathers. At least part of the problem called "alcoholism" seems related to manic-depressive disease.
If you
continue the Google Search I began, you'll find fields of substantiating evidence that would strongly suggest your recent drinking patterns certainly haven't been making you any
happier!!
Believe me my friend, I have been there. Every thing echoes - for that state of being can feel and be the absolute epicenter of loneliness
A song by an electronic artist called Hybrid *just* came on as I type this. Here are the lyrics:
Hybrid - Until Tomorrow said:
You drink your health,
And remember to forget about your self...
Sit on a roof,
In the everlasting moments of your youth...
You look surprised,
As it all went up in smoke before your eyes,
Beneath the cloak of a different kind of Sunday morning...
Until tomorrow,
On a different kind of Sunday morning,
Until tomorrow...
Gave me the chills. 8(
Don't stay isolated. You've done a wonder thing for yourself, kicking the opiate habit.
My instincts tell me that you did so with the impression that life would get better if you quit (it
does!!).
Keep this in mind: In the beginning, recovery is painful for each and every one of us. You are not, nor ever will be, alone. But by replacing opiates with alcohol...
with each successive sip, you kill yourself further.
Peace, love unity, respect,
~ Vaya