IDK. In my experience (and that of a wide circle of folks I know) once you've worked your way up to daily dosing (and jonesing otherwise) there's no real "going back" you know?
Oh sure, you might chip successfully for a short while, but you've already proven to yourself that you've a predilection for addiction to the H. So really, it's a waiting game for you from here on in, IMO; just a matter of time before "every now and then" turns back into "every day, again" so my advice would be if you can get off? Stay off.
I tangled with heroin seriously for 3 years. In that time I went from having a great job making $70G annually, driving a brand new SUV, living in a 4 bedroom home to jobless, homeless and friendless, essentially. I stole thousands from a rel by cashing checks on their account, I sold everything I owned, every piece of jewelry I'd ever bought or been given (including my wedding rings and a diamond bracelet that was a family heirloom). In the end I was literally homeless in the dead of winter and my own mother wouldn't let me be in her house longer than it took to shower, wash my clothes and get re-dressed. She would NEVER leave me in her house alone, not even to check the mail. And I don't blame her, I was stealing her meds (she had CANCER) to mediate the WDs...I was a hot mess.
Getting off the H was horrible and it took almost 6 months before the obsession even began to wane. I put weight back on. I got a room at a shit-hole resi hotel, I found a job making $10 an hour, I went to AA and NA for two years-I personally am not an advocate for either, I think it's a lot of brainwashing bullshit, frankly, but it was something to do besides drugs, you know?
In that same period of time, I lost 3 friends to OD. One of them died in police custody, strapped to one of those chairs they put you in when you're unruly. He asphyxiated and was dead for hours before anyone noticed. Another friend was speed-balling monster doses of H and died in his recliner, alone in his apartment for over a week before his landlord finally busted in because of the smell...
H is bad news. And OH MY GOD do I love the stuff. Ironically, where I live now I have unbelievable access to it again...but I don't chip. Not even a little. Because I know that if I start using again, it won't be long before it's a daily chore once more.
Luckily I'm on some heavy duty prescription meds (I have a legit chronic pain condition from a car accident, what essentially started my whole foray into narcs/opes) so I see my doctor every month and struggle to use my meds AS DIRECTED (which means I rarely get high, the pain uses it up before any euphoria ever sets in) but I know for shit sure I was lucky to survive my adventures with heroin.
So perhaps I'm a little biased? But I say once an addict, always an addict. You can't un-pop a bubble, you can't un-lose your virginity and you can't just "dabble" anymore. Alas. Like I said, you might be able to do it for a short time, but it won't last. You already know you're prone to addictive use of it.
Isn't there some legit medication for your condition that would help control the shaking?
