_mistresspoppy_
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2010
- Messages
- 169
I've been struggling with telltale signs of anxiety since high school. I would panic during hard tests, when I was having problems at home, and sometimes for seemingly no reason at all. One night I woke up with chest pain and my heart was beating so fast I felt my chest vibrating. I was 17 at the time. I've only gotten chest pain 2 times since then, but I still get a scarlet rash across my chest when I get nervous and I get choking feeling where I'm holding my breath and I can't get enough air. when something bad happens, even as trivial as a paper jam in the printer, I can completely break down, and I have a hard time letting it go and moving on. I don't collapse in a heap on the kitchen floor EVERY time the printer doesn't work, but it seems like I lose it at the most inopportune times for embarrassingly stupid reasons. When I'm feeling bad, I take it out on the people I love, who miraculously still tolerate me. Once or twice, i have felt disconnected from everything, but I usually get back to normal after I get a full nits sleep. To complicate things I have a phobia of needles and medical professionals. Is there anything I can do (without going to a sadist with a stethoscope and medical degree) to "fix" myself? I hate hurting the people around me, and then not even being able to explain what is wrong with me. I really try, and promise myself I'll try harder, byt that only makes me feel worse when I snap.