positive effects from a binge

[chi chi laroux]

i've been doing mdma for a little over a year now, and generally have been pretty careful about my use, taking breaks between rolls, not taking too much in a night (usually no more than 300mics), and dosing up on 5-htp before and after. my husband has a lot more experience with it than i do, so he's been a great mentor.
like most newbs, i have the whole body load to deal with, and i've slowly learned how to get rid of most of the obvious effects. when i started biting the inside of my mouth, i started chewing gum. since that wasn't actually teaching me to stop doing that, i quit after a while, and managed to stop with the biting. same with being all twitchy, it looks dorky, and so i trained myself to not do it. but three things i always had a problem with were clenching my jaw (very unattractive!), feeling so fucking lazy the next day, and not being able to cum for about a week afterwards.
the past 3 weeks, i've rolled every weekend. the first weekend, i kept it pretty low dose, the second weekend, i went over the top a bit and did some lsd and 2-cb along with it (fucking amaaaaazing!), and this past weekend, i rolled friday night, saturday night, and did a morning bump on sunday. i had never done it 2 nights in a row before, and doing the morning bump was breaking a cardinal mdma rule of mine. i felt glorious the whole time, but decided that i definitely need to take a break. my brain is too valuable to me! not to mention, i really fiended this weekend, doing more than i usually do, and doing it becaue i really wanted more, not because i needed to. so my break is to heal my brain, but also to break any addictive cycle i may have started falling into.
so the positives... i realized this weekend that i didn't clench my jaw at all! it was awesome! for the first time ever, my jaw didn't hurt for a few days afterwards, and i didn't look all creepy and weird while i was rolling. i seem to have gotten over that. i also got rid of the twitches. on top of that, i was awake and alert each morning after, even on monday, i got great sleep sunday night and was all good to go yesterday. AND, i had sex with my husband this morning and totally got off on it! this is only 2 days after my last roll! incredible!
so my theory is that going on a bit of a binge gave me the time to get over my bad habits/body load responses. even though i think that it was a bad thing overall (in terms of overworking my brain/addictive behaviours), there definitely was some positive outcome.
how about you? have you had some beneficial outcomes from what would otherwise be negative mdma behaviour? i'm not keen on binging, and won't be doing any mdma for at least a couple of months, but i'm glad i did it, if only for the benefits i gained.
any thoughts?

 

[RGB]

Well, every experience can and should be an opportunity to learn. I can see how indulging to an intense degree could help you to get over things and sort them out in your head (a catharsis, I suppose) in addition to the more physical aspects you mentioned, but I fear that there's a danger in considering binging therapeutic -- if you try it again as a fix, you may not find it as helpful as you did the first time around.

Like everyone, I've had a binge or two myself, but I think by the point at which I consider it a "binge" I've already decided that it's a negative thing that I shouldn't repeat. Kind of a catch-22 on binging, I guess.

 

[chi chi laroux]

oh yeah for sure! i definitely don't see binging as a method of dealing with shit, i've got lsd and 2-cb for that
the binge came about rather unexpectedly, and it wasn't really until the end of it (or rather, when i decided it was over) that i realized that some good had come out of it. and also that some bad had as well, and that in fact it had been a binge.
i've decided that i'm not going to do any molly until shambhala, at the very minimum, and that's 8 weeks away. lsd, 2-cb, shrooms, not for a while, but no definite time-frame on those ones.

 

[C8H10N4O2]

OP: can you elaborate on how you trained yourself to stop your chewing and jaw-clenching?

 

[chi chi laroux]

the chewing is something i just worked on. the first few times i did mdma, i looked a mess the next day, sores all around my mouth, inside and out. i started chewing gum to deal with it, but didn't like doing that. it felt like instead of actually dealing with the problem, i was merely giving myself a way of reinforcing it. so i stopped allowing myself gum, and just started paying attention. if i caught myself doing it, i would stop. if my husband caught me doing it, he would give me a sign, and i would stop. it got so that i would catch it almost the second i started, and thus it ended.
pretty much the same story with the jaw-clenching, except it took a lot longer for me to get over it, like until this past weekend! again, just paying attention, stopping as soon as i notice, and having a couple of people point it out if they saw it. this past friday night i was still doing it a bit, but on saturday night and sunday afternoon, i didn't do it at all and had no soreness in my jaw afterwards. the action is just gone.
like i said, i don't plan to do any molly again til shambhala, but i'm already excited about it, not because i get to eat molly again, but because i'm excited to see if i've really gotten over the jaw-clenching.

 

[TearItDown]

Bingeing has taught me why abusing mdma can be a really bad thing. Knowing more information about even more serious risks has taught me how to be more responsible and safe.

 

[chi chi laroux]

yeah for sure! up til now, i was quite confident that i would have no issues with mdma, that i would never succumb to fiending for it. not until this past weekend, when i did a line about 30 minutes after waking up, did i realize that, yup, i can fiend for this shit and make bad decisions about it.