Poppy Seed Tea - Ain't No Joke

[Shadowmaster]

Trust me. When I set my mind to something I don't stop. If they don't restrict sales or at the very least place warnings and quantity limits on sales, watch the shit storm I'll cause. Hate on me all you like, this shit is worse than heroin.

Edit: I completely missed that this is from 2020. I really thought it was recent for some reason... I hope OP has found success and now has over a year free from dependence and addiction. Sorry to bump an old thread when OP probably won't ever see it

First of all; I hope your are continuing to find success in every new moment of your current journey to sobriety and freedom from addiction. Every minute and hour you can go without consuming your DOC, is another success to add in the books. Many people who have not dove into the depths of substance abuse will not adequately empathize with the very real struggle you're having right now. However, I do.. and I'm with you on it. The light at the end of the tunnel will eventually show itself and once you're able to bask in its warmth, you will have gained a strength in character that normal people never develop. You will have gone to war with yourself, and come out victorious. That said, the war itself is grueling, relentless, tiresome and all consuming. Here are some recommendations, advice to use both on your own and if you go to a treatment center:

- I highly recommend you hop onto the 24/7 Zoom NA meetings and seek companionship with the good people in these groups. I have found them to be of great help and comfort personally. (I especially like the anonymity factor of them). I always recommend NA because it isn't about your drug of choice, its about the condition of addiction (which every single person has, be it in a form society deems acceptable or one deemed "unacceptable")
- Get the book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction. by Dr. Gabor Maté. It has provided the illumination many of my students and peers needed in their lives. All his other works and discussions are fantastic as well.
- The only way for those who have zero self control to quit is usually with a medically assisted cold turkey. Supervision, Medicinal support and a new (and helpful) environment can greatly decrease suffering and increase success. The best way to quit however, is the same path you journeyed to your current position: Taper down over the next 3/6/9 months. (Self control I assume you have since you "don't stop" when you set your mind to something). This is why methadone and Suboxone are well supported, as they allow a taper but in a clinically controlled manner. (Unfortunately many clinics have no desire to taper their patients and simply keep them on indefinitely).
- Herbal supplementation. I'm sure you can find many sources of information on this. Many assume simple herbs won't help when contrasted with the potency of their DOC. But when used as part of a healthy lifestyle routine, they can provide compounding relief for withdrawals and post withdrawals. I recommend all adaptogenic herbs and mushrooms as something everyone should consume on a regular basis.
- Lastly, don't underestimate the power of psycho-therapy. Every person can trace back their addictive tendencies to a form of trauma at some point in their life. We use substances for a reason, but we become addicted to them for a whole other reason, whether its is apparent or not. (These factors are some the Dr. Maté has built his career on). Therapy can help us uncover and decipher our internal code and really lock down our reasons for being and realize/change our innate reactions into measured responses. Therapy can range from simple talk therapy/CBT to hypnoses therapy and all the way to the cutting edge of entheogen assisted therapy. Therapy and self work is the key to alleviating ourselves of of being "The Addict". (not just)Personal opinion: Unlike NA (and the like) prefers to teach; once and addict is NOT always an addict. Because addiction is a symptom of the dis-ease, not the dis-ease itself. But that's "getting into the weeds" a bit.


All that said, I would like to address your desire top protect society from itself.
I'm not sure what @Nas47 is on about... But he is correct on one thing; There is no more evil in the poppy plant than there is in the coffee tree or wheat grain. The plant is but merely a natural occurrence, one with strong medicinal value for us, the animals who have evolved on earth with it. It lives in harmony with us, as do all other plants and plant medicines.
Don't get me wrong, evil certainly exists. But only within us. Our individual choice to be either beneficial or to be detrimental. The plant is neither of those and to think so is to project your own shortcomings onto an object, a tool of sorts.
The plant being beneficial or detrimental is purely in our actions, how we choose to use or abuse it. (This goes for so much more than our topic at hand and is unfortunately one of the reasons why our world is sacrificing freedom in exchange for false security/safety)
You chose to use the plant in a detrimental (in your words "evil") way, of which the plant bears no responsibility. You chose to disrespect the power of the plant and its medicinal properties. Thats on you.
By choosing to "raise a shit storm" and deem it the societies burden to bear your lack of respect for yourself and the medicine is to offload the responsibility you have to yourself.
It is not logical or ethical to mandate that society be protected from itself and force others to be barred from access from something, simply because you were incapable of being responsible.
You live in Australia, so I wouldn't expect you to understand the tenets of personal and civil liberty or even value them. After all, the lack of value for these tenants is exactly why Australia is one of the most restrictive places a person can exist outside of the major communist countries. (speaking specifically about your laws and what a person may/may not do or say).
You exemplify the epitome of this "virtue signaling"/"pass the blame"/"you shouldn't be allowed to do that" culture which is rapidly expanding in our world.
To put it plainly; Just because you can't handle your shit doesn't mean it's acceptable for your to try and ruin it for everyone else.
Just because something poses a risk of danger to oneself does not mean society should bar anyone from being able to access/do that thing.
The purpose of life is not to avoid danger and/or death at all costs. A life where one is forced to "do what's right/safe/honorable" is a world where the honor and goodness in our ability to make such choice is stripped away.
One aspect of true liberty and freedom of choice is to be granted permission by society(law/policy) to do that which may endanger oneself. Be that riding a motorcycle (helmet-less as well), smoking a cigarette, watching mainstream media, consuming traditional plant medicines recreationally, skydive, drive a car, do martial arts or play paintball. Heck, drinking alcohol is more dangerous than most "illegal" substances.
A life with no risk is no life at all.

To wrap this up, as I have have gotten a bit rant-y...
The global "war" on drugs (of certain kinds) has created more harm for people than the substances themselves ever could. By 'attempting' to restrict the sacred (unassailable/inviolable) and historical human right to use plant(based) medicines in the pursuit to alter our state of consciousness (in any way), we have created a world full of ignorance, addiction, violence, dangerous and impure black market substances, high rates of incarceration for non-malicious "crimes" and ultimately fueled industrial corporate profit machines on a global scale. ( This is not to say that the WOD is the only factor in theses issues). By stating you want to bar others from accessing your DOC is to perpetuate the values of this self righteous control over the minds of others ('the war on drugs')
The only point you made that I partially agree with you on, is the little sentence where you mention warning labels. Education is the key to encouraging safety and responsible living.
Take cigarettes for example: companies were forced to educate potential users through the use of warning labels about the potential danger one may expose themselves to by using this product. We now have short lessons on the potential danger of using such products in many of our schools world wide. Low and behold, smoking has fallen out of zeitgeist. The same goes for alcoho. Though it being a more potent psychoactive substance, it remains in the zeitgeist and will for the rest of time in all likelihood.
This is the key to saving our society from much suffering. We must educate the people about all of the substances and medicines they may encounter within our society and educate them on what they are, how they work, what their purpose is and the potential dangers they may pose when used or used incorrectly. But this will only work if at the same time we allow people free-market access to all the substances in question, and afford them the freedom to made educated choices for their selves. This automatically promotes a safer economy of substances as well.
That is a life worth living.

(So many people get themselves into trouble, finding themselves deep in a hold because they were simply ignorant about what they were doing. Others of course, dug that hole knowingly, like you).
If we as a society agreed to establish the values as stated above (considering substances), we would find ourselves in a world with less addiction, less incarceration, less substance related death, less trauma, less depression, less crime, less ignorance and more freedom. This is exemplified and proven in several countries who have given access to this innate freedom back to their population and put all the funds now being saved towards education, addiction treatment/therapy and towards making sure those who do use/abuse are able to do so in a safe and clean environment (which lowers incidence of disease and homelessness).

I wish your luck and strength in your journey to filling back in the hole you dug for yourself. You are not alone, as many of us have been there and many are there right now. A mantra that may help: "If it sucks, then you're on the right path".
Remember; This too, shall pass. Once it has, you'll be more the person then you ever were!
Knees in the breeze and the shiny side up.

Cheers, SM

 

[Eligiu]

For real poppy seed tea is fucked. Restriction is not the answer though people. I'm as commie as you can get (just my little dig at the poster above me, cause if you live in America I hate to tell you, you ain't free, not unless you call living in fear of having any kind of medical emergency and being saddled with tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills 'free' lol. I'll take my socialist utopia of universal healthcare any day where I can attend an emergency department with acute appendicitis, stay for 4 days waiting on emergency surgery while they monitored me - kept getting bumped down the list because more urgent cases came in, not because the system is crap. The moment my appendix burst I would have been first in line, given antibiotics, painkillers, Anesthesia, all the works and walked out with a bill for $13.50 for my prescription endone on discharge. What an awful system. I didn't go to a private hospital (though I could have) because I didn't understand how it worked and didn't want to pay the excess of $500 to be admitted for something the public system handled perfectly well, because I do have private health cover I only use it when necessary, anyway. What a horrid system lol, god damn our Medicare levy of paying all of 1% tax on our income hahaha how draining on peoples funds)

I started on codeine at 14 for scoliosis and due to mental health issues. Used to much on ibuprofen plus straight out of the packet and CWE those bastard panadeine forte when I got my hands on them. Also OTC Panadol and codeine, forget the name. Did that until I got my hands on endone in an ironic plot twist.

My idiot father is an idiot. My brother had a knee reconstruction at 16 and dear old dad didn't give him any endone post surgery (which I mean given he's a twisted bastard is a touch abusive because holy fuck my poor bro would have been in agony for days to weeks because of that) but yeah, little packet of endone all full up sitting in the fridge waiting for little old me to figure out what it was, which I eventually did. So yeah when I took that first pill I reckon I was instantly addicted, psychologically at least because I decided I never wanted to stop feeling like that ever again. And thus began the love affair.

After about 2 months of endone I realised I was up shits creek without a paddle already and I tried to quit. I flushed 10 pills, all I had left. And the fucked thing? I swear to fucking god I'm still bitter about doing that and I wish I got high off them because what a waste. I've ditched hundreds of dollars of meth when I decide to quit that and I don't give a shit when I throw it down the gutter (sorry fishies) but the endone? Goddamn what a waste, fuck me I could still cry to this day. I was crying as I did it.

From 16 to 17 I binged on DXM and weed and alcohol and had a break from opiates. I got a bit freaked out at how quickly they controlled me. And I wish I stayed quit.

At 16 and a half my parents busted me for drugs. Well, my cousin's parents did and sat me on a plane from Melbourne to Adelaide with some unhappy parents waiting for me when I got home. I got sent to NA where I got a year up then realised I was in a cult. Jumped back out and decided that thanks to some of the advice I'd heard in meetings (come back when you've got a real addiction/wait until you try shooting up/youre not a real addict/you're too young to be in recovery) plus the trauma of having older members trying to fuck me as a minor that I'd go out and have more fun. Plus their 'your addiction is just getting stronger' nonsense wait I mean slogan caused a self fulfilling prophecy where I told myself I had to use more than ever before (a mindset which was only fixed 6-8 years later at an actual proper rehab where they told me that there is literally zero reason you have to use any more than a single time when you slip up, which is what I managed to do for years to minimise my use, go figure. That rehab undid a whole year of toxic brainwashing and allows me to live a life where I control my substance use and it doesn't control me even though im an IV user). So I got back on codeine harder than ever before.

By 17, almost 18, I freaked again and went to the doctor for help. I was taking way too much codeine. He told me that there was a 3 week wait for the practices addiction medicine specialist and asked me what I needed help with. I told him I was taking 3 packets of ibuprofen plus a day, so 90 pills. He got up, excused himself, and came back minutes later with another doctor. He introduced him as the addiction medicine specialist who suddenly was immediately available. I asked about the wait and the specialist told me that what I was doing was so dangerous especially at my age that he skipped his lunch to get the authority for Suboxone done for me that day. The authority actually he had to fight for, because I was a minor and they weren't thrilled to put me on it, but he argued them into submission and promised that I would only be staying on it for a maximum of 6 months. They agreed and the next day I picked up my first dose at the chemist. Thus began my journey with replacement therapy.

I stayed On Suboxone for 6 months as promised by the specialist, and then stayed sober for the next year. I went overseas to Germany for 8 months at 20 and kept my drinking to a reasonable level. While overseas living with a functional family, I had some massive revelations about my own family and on returning home, I was back on drugs within less than a week, this time going back to endone and moving up to OxyContin.

At 21 I ran away from home due to severe conflict with a parent and was homeless for 6 months while I tried to get welfare payments as a full time student. Problem was, the age of independence is 22. That's right. I could vote, drive a car, drink and buy cigarettes, work a job, join the army - you name it. But apparently I was still dependent on my parents financially and the only legal way of proving I wasn't was an official statement from them saying they didn't want me living there with them and that there was severe family breakdown. So basically, parents have to admit that they're shit, not likely to happen. I got a social worker who took me into the welfare office and told a social worker there that my mental health was terrible living with my parents and I had chosen living on the streets instead of there - how could family breakdown not exist? The social worker told us with the right supportive documents about my wellbeing, I could be granted independence 8 months early - maybe. The first time didn't work, so I told the social worker about my drug use. At this stage I'd moved on to eating bars of Xanax until I blacked out, shooting bags if heroin alongside that and throwing alcohol in the mix until I blacked out. Then I'd shoot meth to wake myself up from that mess and it was fear of having to return home which drove that. We submitted a dependency score of 42/44 and the next attempt, the application was successful. I got my payments.

And I put them straight up my arm for the next 6 months until I moved in with a close friend and went cold turkey from everything. The following year I coped alright until April where I relapsed again, very fast that time and did meth and heroin every day throwing codeine into the mix when I couldn't get h. That went on until August when I straightened up again and then went to outpatient rehab.

Throughout rehab I'd get 6-8 months up then slip up a single day before starting again. That was a pattern between being 22-24. At 24 I stopped attending rehab because I couldn't get anything more out if it but went back to the place I had my original social worker, which was youth drug and alcohol counselling (max age 25) and stayed there for 4 months before being transitioned to the adult programme. I had an amazing, fucking incredible social worker there who taught me more than I even thought I could know about myself and why I used drugs. However, due to ongoing family issues my use remained and I went through phases. Meth was still an issue, probably the main one. At 25 I found out some information about my childhood I probably should have left alone which caused an immediate decline in my mental health. But this time I could not source heroin, because Adelaide had dried up. Prescription opiates were phenomenonally expensive and I was on welfare. I wanted to stay away from meth - so what to do?

Poppy seeds. Cheap, available, and feasible.

And so it started. I began with small amounts, 250g. And that was enough to get a good nod. I did some research and found out the best ways to brew (and also found out there is a shitload of disagreement on this lol I'm in camp warm water and lemon juice forever). After about 6 months my use had massively escalated and I was using close to a kg a day. I had to constantly take empty 2l bottles out of my apartment bags at a time. I'd try to quit, and I'd make it to say day 4 then fuck, the withdrawal would suddenly kick in like nothing before and it was horrible. Then I read online that because of the number of alkaloids, poppy seed tea withdrawal went on for fucking weeks. Weeks! When I came off dope in 2017 at 22 I had a couple days feeling shit while I waited to start Suboxone but nothing like this. I caved and went to my GP and begged him for help - last time I asked him for Suboxone he wasn't allowed to prescribe it, and didn't particularly want to because he loves general practice and doesn't want to become a Suboxone doctor and he knows that happens. That time he wrote me a referral to a specialist. This time though? He saw how bad I was doing and knows for a fact that Suboxone is a miracle drug for me - I was studying law between 2016 and 2021 and spent a majority of the time on it and it took me from almost dropping out to distinctions and high distinctions so he said yes. He told me the rules had recently changed and he was allowed to prescribe it without a special license. He just needed a week to figure out how to do it so told me to keep using and come back once he sorted that out. So we did that. The plan was to use it as a slow taper and come off within a year, which I did. But when I was tapering off using the subutex, I was shooting it so clearly I wasn't quite done.

Which brings us to last year. I had a massive upheaval not soon after coming off suboxone and my support network fell apart. Within a week I was back on poppy seed tea and this time after a couple of months I was up to 1.5kg a day. But something was different this time. The shit was harder to get. The stores were always low on stock. I soemtimes had to visit 3-4 shops to get it and when I drove somewhere new I always stopped at a shop just in case I could get extras. Plus I started seeing bottles of poppy seed tea left in parks, and on railway tracks. I had a pattern of use I wonder if anyone will recognise. One day use, the next day I was safe from withdrawal and I promised myself I'd quit. The third day would arrive and some doubt would creep in and on the fourth day before I knew it I'd be in a Coles or woolies or wholefoods store stocking up and mixing the tea alone in my apartment for another night. I tried tapering, which of course is completely impossible. I had to narcan myself numerous times because my breathing got so shallow and I was nodding so heavily I thought if I went to sleep I'd die. And then I used heroin again when I sourced it online and I knew I was back in a bad place.

I went to the drug and alcohol service and asked for suboxone, they had an open case file with me still from my taper earlier that year so I got in quite quick. When I told them (and my GP) last time I was using poppy seed tea they were confused and asked me to explain. This time when I told them they nodded and asked how much I was using. They said the heroin drought and the massive prescription prices was driving people to desperately look for other opiates and poppy seed tea was the new thing. People were coming in so heavily addicted that the doctors were worried that there was a flood of heroin back in Adelaide until they found out what was going on. And they said that the withdrawal from the poppy seeds was nothing like they'd ever seen - people just couldn't cope for the weeks it lasted. Heroin withdrawal is over in like 5 days. This shit lasts 3 weeks. You cannot do it alone.

This time I was put on the subcutaneous injection as I had a history of abusing the Suboxone and ceasing treatment too quickly. They suggested I stay on it for 2-5 years given my opiate use has spanned over more than a decade at this point and at 27 it'll only get worse if I keep using. I agreed.

I've done every opiate known to man, basically. And nothing kicked my ass more than poppy seed tea. It's not a fucking joke. Heroin made me do horrible things to score and use, but that was largely to do with the price. The cheapness of poppy seed tea meant I didn't have to do anything dodgy to use it which suited me just fine but I still drained my money on that shit.

It is not to be messed around with and im glad as hell there's other people who know how bad it is cause I get sick of other users telling me I'm just being soft or overreacting for going on maintainance therapy to deal with poppy seeds. I'd like to see them get through 3 weeks of shitty opiate withdrawal and see how they feel. I wish I never found out what it was.

I don't think restricting it is the answer though because I support full legalisation of all drugs. I think education about it is the right way forward

 

[AyahuascaSeeker]

For real poppy seed tea is fucked. Restriction is not the answer though people. I'm as commie as you can get (just my little dig at the poster above me, cause if you live in America I hate to tell you, you ain't free, not unless you call living in fear of having any kind of medical emergency and being saddled with tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills 'free' lol. I'll take my socialist utopia of universal healthcare any day where I can attend an emergency department with acute appendicitis, stay for 4 days waiting on emergency surgery while they monitored me - kept getting bumped down the list because more urgent cases came in, not because the system is crap. The moment my appendix burst I would have been first in line, given antibiotics, painkillers, Anesthesia, all the works and walked out with a bill for $13.50 for my prescription endone on discharge. What an awful system. I didn't go to a private hospital (though I could have) because I didn't understand how it worked and didn't want to pay the excess of $500 to be admitted for something the public system handled perfectly well, because I do have private health cover I only use it when necessary, anyway. What a horrid system lol, god damn our Medicare levy of paying all of 1% tax on our income hahaha how draining on peoples funds)

I started on codeine at 14 for scoliosis and due to mental health issues. Used to much on ibuprofen plus straight out of the packet and CWE those bastard panadeine forte when I got my hands on them. Also OTC Panadol and codeine, forget the name. Did that until I got my hands on endone in an ironic plot twist.

My idiot father is an idiot. My brother had a knee reconstruction at 16 and dear old dad didn't give him any endone post surgery (which I mean given he's a twisted bastard is a touch abusive because holy fuck my poor bro would have been in agony for days to weeks because of that) but yeah, little packet of endone all full up sitting in the fridge waiting for little old me to figure out what it was, which I eventually did. So yeah when I took that first pill I reckon I was instantly addicted, psychologically at least because I decided I never wanted to stop feeling like that ever again. And thus began the love affair.

After about 2 months of endone I realised I was up shits creek without a paddle already and I tried to quit. I flushed 10 pills, all I had left. And the fucked thing? I swear to fucking god I'm still bitter about doing that and I wish I got high off them because what a waste. I've ditched hundreds of dollars of meth when I decide to quit that and I don't give a shit when I throw it down the gutter (sorry fishies) but the endone? Goddamn what a waste, fuck me I could still cry to this day. I was crying as I did it.

From 16 to 17 I binged on DXM and weed and alcohol and had a break from opiates. I got a bit freaked out at how quickly they controlled me. And I wish I stayed quit.

At 16 and a half my parents busted me for drugs. Well, my cousin's parents did and sat me on a plane from Melbourne to Adelaide with some unhappy parents waiting for me when I got home. I got sent to NA where I got a year up then realised I was in a cult. Jumped back out and decided that thanks to some of the advice I'd heard in meetings (come back when you've got a real addiction/wait until you try shooting up/youre not a real addict/you're too young to be in recovery) plus the trauma of having older members trying to fuck me as a minor that I'd go out and have more fun. Plus their 'your addiction is just getting stronger' nonsense wait I mean slogan caused a self fulfilling prophecy where I told myself I had to use more than ever before (a mindset which was only fixed 6-8 years later at an actual proper rehab where they told me that there is literally zero reason you have to use any more than a single time when you slip up, which is what I managed to do for years to minimise my use, go figure. That rehab undid a whole year of toxic brainwashing and allows me to live a life where I control my substance use and it doesn't control me even though im an IV user). So I got back on codeine harder than ever before.

By 17, almost 18, I freaked again and went to the doctor for help. I was taking way too much codeine. He told me that there was a 3 week wait for the practices addiction medicine specialist and asked me what I needed help with. I told him I was taking 3 packets of ibuprofen plus a day, so 90 pills. He got up, excused himself, and came back minutes later with another doctor. He introduced him as the addiction medicine specialist who suddenly was immediately available. I asked about the wait and the specialist told me that what I was doing was so dangerous especially at my age that he skipped his lunch to get the authority for Suboxone done for me that day. The authority actually he had to fight for, because I was a minor and they weren't thrilled to put me on it, but he argued them into submission and promised that I would only be staying on it for a maximum of 6 months. They agreed and the next day I picked up my first dose at the chemist. Thus began my journey with replacement therapy.

I stayed On Suboxone for 6 months as promised by the specialist, and then stayed sober for the next year. I went overseas to Germany for 8 months at 20 and kept my drinking to a reasonable level. While overseas living with a functional family, I had some massive revelations about my own family and on returning home, I was back on drugs within less than a week, this time going back to endone and moving up to OxyContin.

At 21 I ran away from home due to severe conflict with a parent and was homeless for 6 months while I tried to get welfare payments as a full time student. Problem was, the age of independence is 22. That's right. I could vote, drive a car, drink and buy cigarettes, work a job, join the army - you name it. But apparently I was still dependent on my parents financially and the only legal way of proving I wasn't was an official statement from them saying they didn't want me living there with them and that there was severe family breakdown. So basically, parents have to admit that they're shit, not likely to happen. I got a social worker who took me into the welfare office and told a social worker there that my mental health was terrible living with my parents and I had chosen living on the streets instead of there - how could family breakdown not exist? The social worker told us with the right supportive documents about my wellbeing, I could be granted independence 8 months early - maybe. The first time didn't work, so I told the social worker about my drug use. At this stage I'd moved on to eating bars of Xanax until I blacked out, shooting bags if heroin alongside that and throwing alcohol in the mix until I blacked out. Then I'd shoot meth to wake myself up from that mess and it was fear of having to return home which drove that. We submitted a dependency score of 42/44 and the next attempt, the application was successful. I got my payments.

And I put them straight up my arm for the next 6 months until I moved in with a close friend and went cold turkey from everything. The following year I coped alright until April where I relapsed again, very fast that time and did meth and heroin every day throwing codeine into the mix when I couldn't get h. That went on until August when I straightened up again and then went to outpatient rehab.

Throughout rehab I'd get 6-8 months up then slip up a single day before starting again. That was a pattern between being 22-24. At 24 I stopped attending rehab because I couldn't get anything more out if it but went back to the place I had my original social worker, which was youth drug and alcohol counselling (max age 25) and stayed there for 4 months before being transitioned to the adult programme. I had an amazing, fucking incredible social worker there who taught me more than I even thought I could know about myself and why I used drugs. However, due to ongoing family issues my use remained and I went through phases. Meth was still an issue, probably the main one. At 25 I found out some information about my childhood I probably should have left alone which caused an immediate decline in my mental health. But this time I could not source heroin, because Adelaide had dried up. Prescription opiates were phenomenonally expensive and I was on welfare. I wanted to stay away from meth - so what to do?

Poppy seeds. Cheap, available, and feasible.

And so it started. I began with small amounts, 250g. And that was enough to get a good nod. I did some research and found out the best ways to brew (and also found out there is a shitload of disagreement on this lol I'm in camp warm water and lemon juice forever). After about 6 months my use had massively escalated and I was using close to a kg a day. I had to constantly take empty 2l bottles out of my apartment bags at a time. I'd try to quit, and I'd make it to say day 4 then fuck, the withdrawal would suddenly kick in like nothing before and it was horrible. Then I read online that because of the number of alkaloids, poppy seed tea withdrawal went on for fucking weeks. Weeks! When I came off dope in 2017 at 22 I had a couple days feeling shit while I waited to start Suboxone but nothing like this. I caved and went to my GP and begged him for help - last time I asked him for Suboxone he wasn't allowed to prescribe it, and didn't particularly want to because he loves general practice and doesn't want to become a Suboxone doctor and he knows that happens. That time he wrote me a referral to a specialist. This time though? He saw how bad I was doing and knows for a fact that Suboxone is a miracle drug for me - I was studying law between 2016 and 2021 and spent a majority of the time on it and it took me from almost dropping out to distinctions and high distinctions so he said yes. He told me the rules had recently changed and he was allowed to prescribe it without a special license. He just needed a week to figure out how to do it so told me to keep using and come back once he sorted that out. So we did that. The plan was to use it as a slow taper and come off within a year, which I did. But when I was tapering off using the subutex, I was shooting it so clearly I wasn't quite done.

Which brings us to last year. I had a massive upheaval not soon after coming off suboxone and my support network fell apart. Within a week I was back on poppy seed tea and this time after a couple of months I was up to 1.5kg a day. But something was different this time. The shit was harder to get. The stores were always low on stock. I soemtimes had to visit 3-4 shops to get it and when I drove somewhere new I always stopped at a shop just in case I could get extras. Plus I started seeing bottles of poppy seed tea left in parks, and on railway tracks. I had a pattern of use I wonder if anyone will recognise. One day use, the next day I was safe from withdrawal and I promised myself I'd quit. The third day would arrive and some doubt would creep in and on the fourth day before I knew it I'd be in a Coles or woolies or wholefoods store stocking up and mixing the tea alone in my apartment for another night. I tried tapering, which of course is completely impossible. I had to narcan myself numerous times because my breathing got so shallow and I was nodding so heavily I thought if I went to sleep I'd die. And then I used heroin again when I sourced it online and I knew I was back in a bad place.

I went to the drug and alcohol service and asked for suboxone, they had an open case file with me still from my taper earlier that year so I got in quite quick. When I told them (and my GP) last time I was using poppy seed tea they were confused and asked me to explain. This time when I told them they nodded and asked how much I was using. They said the heroin drought and the massive prescription prices was driving people to desperately look for other opiates and poppy seed tea was the new thing. People were coming in so heavily addicted that the doctors were worried that there was a flood of heroin back in Adelaide until they found out what was going on. And they said that the withdrawal from the poppy seeds was nothing like they'd ever seen - people just couldn't cope for the weeks it lasted. Heroin withdrawal is over in like 5 days. This shit lasts 3 weeks. You cannot do it alone.

This time I was put on the subcutaneous injection as I had a history of abusing the Suboxone and ceasing treatment too quickly. They suggested I stay on it for 2-5 years given my opiate use has spanned over more than a decade at this point and at 27 it'll only get worse if I keep using. I agreed.

I've done every opiate known to man, basically. And nothing kicked my ass more than poppy seed tea. It's not a fucking joke. Heroin made me do horrible things to score and use, but that was largely to do with the price. The cheapness of poppy seed tea meant I didn't have to do anything dodgy to use it which suited me just fine but I still drained my money on that shit.

It is not to be messed around with and im glad as hell there's other people who know how bad it is cause I get sick of other users telling me I'm just being soft or overreacting for going on maintainance therapy to deal with poppy seeds. I'd like to see them get through 3 weeks of shitty opiate withdrawal and see how they feel. I wish I never found out what it was.

I don't think restricting it is the answer though because I support full legalisation of all drugs. I think education about it is the right way forward

I'll read your post shortly. Just curled up in bed crying at nothing (which I haven't done, as in cry, for a solid 6 years) and listening to Willie Nelson while my favourite band is performing 5kms away that I can't go see because I can't get out of bed.

The support you guys are providing a total stranger, a nobody, an addict, is amazing. I love you all so damn much. Without this forum I'd have no idea what to do.

I've been trying all week to get on a maintenance/cessation or whatever they're called program, but no prescribers in my town are taking any new patients, so I'm left here feeling like I'm dying while missing my kids, and my old life that I had before this shit took hold.

I have realised that restricting sales will make things worse. Education is key.

Thank you.

 

[AyahuascaSeeker]

Update. (I'll be doing these for my memory or if anyone gives af about my progress).

Saturday night was hell. No sleep, constant pain, RLS, and the sweating, my god my sheets were drenched in sweat that literally smells of tobacco and poppy seeds. What have I become? What am I doing? Should I just go grab a kilo at the local restaurant wholesaler and fuck this shit to hell? I don't know. Lucky, thank God that they're closed today, or I'd have been there waiting as they opened. I was quick to blame the plant sure, but the plant isn't what forced me to over indulge and to cover up my past traumas from a kidnap, and multiple prison stints.

The consistent headache is becoming frustrating, the lack of being able to relax... And oddly, I've completely forgot how to play the fucking guitar (although vocally I feel I'm going through a growth of sorts, maturing, kind of digging deep inside my soul bringing up past pains and using that to record and write, which I always do when I have a mental health crisis, not so much to show anyone or release said songs, but to remind me of this time in my life and to show my children what I've gone through).

I'm 38, not old, not young. Willie Nelson, who I idolise, never made it but until his early 40s. Same as Waylon Jennings and Johnny Cash... This has got me thinking of the time Cash performed "A Junkies Prayer"... Aaaaand writing that has again brought on the tears. I'm letting them flow now. I haven't cried for a solid ten years. Not when my life was almost taken, not when I was locked up for growing pot, not when my dad received his cancer diagnosis. But now, I'm crying more than I have in my entire 38 years of life. Over nothing... Over fucking commercials I see on YouTube. Over threads in Bluelight, over music. I can come back from this, but when, how... How can I help the country, the world, see that the real "pandemic" isn't a virus. It's an man made product that is over prescribed, over regulated and completely misunderstood. The services to get the help I and others need, are already stretched to breaking point. I'm sure when my mind is clear, I'll be able to make a plan so as to help those in my situation.

Banning poppy seeds, or any drug, like many here have said. Is pointless. It will only push more people to experiment, and with experimentation comes risk, possibly death. Education and harm reduction is key. Teaching the youth, and the old folks about the powers of this tea, of this plant, needs to begin, before the world starts seeing a whole other kind of junky...

I'll try get out in the sun today and try to get some food that won't come straight back up. I've reached out to a couple friends who are quite high profile musicians, explaining my situation... They've both been more than incredible. But throwing money as an issue won't fix it... It will only create a higher class of misery and pain. One of those I spoke to us currently using a lot of heroin, but hasn't told a soul due to the attack and trial by media that he'd endure. I was shocked, completely, to hear he was using. I knew he smoked more pot than Willie Nelson, but I had no clue, that with all his millions, his sprawling ranch in the Byron Hinterlands, the thousands of hangers on, the women, the goodlife, he is possibly in a worse state than I at this present time. He doesn't want to quit and believes he has it under control, and will reduce his use in time. I can't see it happening. His recent successes in his personal music life tells me the party has only just begun, for want of better words. When I can move, and when I feel I can help, I'll leave my town and stay with him until he goes O.S. to tour. I want to be around people who understand my pain and my past.

Well, I'll try go out and get something to eat, sit in the sun, sink a pack of Marlboros and hope that somehow this starts getting better.

 

[Kaden_Nite]

Trust me. When I set my mind to something I don't stop. If they don't restrict sales or at the very least place warnings and quantity limits on sales, watch the shit storm I'll cause. Hate on me all you like, this shit is worse than heroin.

Can't stand people who do this shit.
It's not enough that some fucking idiots (who ate a hundred Nurofen Plus every day) had to get codeine rescheduled istead of taking responsibility for their own drug use.. now it's the supermarket's job to ration out poppy seeds for the whole country just to appease your needs?

It's never enough for people to ruin something for themself, they just have to ruin it for everyone else too.

 

[AyahuascaSeeker]

Banning poppy seeds, or any drug, like many here have said. Is pointless. It will only push more people to experiment, and with experimentation comes risk, possibly death. Education and harm reduction is key. Teaching the youth, and the old folks about the powers of this tea, of this plant, needs to begin, before the world starts seeing a whole other kind of junky...

@Kaden_Nite read, goose.

Perhaps in future, read the entire thread and don't jump on they keyboard as soon as you see something that you disagree with. "Can't stand people who do this shit" aka abuse others when they disagree with a comment made. On ya bike cock head, it's people like you that the world needs far less of. Judging by your comment you couldn't care less who experiments or worse, ODs from this brew, perhaps you need to re-evaluate some things in your life (possibly a PST addiction you're in denial about).

 

[Cloudman115]

@Kaden_Nite read, goose.

Perhaps in future, read the entire thread and don't jump on they keyboard as soon as you see something that you disagree with. "Can't stand people who do this shit" aka abuse others when they disagree with a comment made. On ya bike cock head, it's people like you that the world needs far less of. Judging by your comment you couldn't care less who experiments or worse, ODs from this brew, perhaps you need to re-evaluate some things in your life (possibly a PST addiction you're in denial about).

When I bought seeds, the best came from Australia. Your right it’s a bitch to come off of. I failed a drug test 10 days after last use. I used loperamide which was a huge help! Don’t abuse it just take more than what’s recommended. Don’t go taking 40 at a time.
i hate to say it but it seems like you live in a county that likes to be up in your business. A surveillance state. Nothing we can do, my country is slowly becoming that way (US). They want to tell us what we can and can’t do.

sorry that your struggling with the seeds. I don’t think you should try and ban the seeds though. People do have the ability to use them safely ( I can’t). I kill myself daily with alcohol and that poison is horrible and readily available and people don’t abuse it like I do.

 

[Eligiu]

Can't stand people who do this shit.
It's not enough that some fucking idiots (who ate a hundred Nurofen Plus every day) had to get codeine rescheduled istead of taking responsibility for their own drug use.. now it's the supermarket's job to ration out poppy seeds for the whole country just to appease your needs?

It's never enough for people to ruin something for themself, they just have to ruin it for everyone else too.

Cry me a river, what else was 14 year old me supposed to do? Get heroin? Lol. Christ almighty.

They'd have banned codeine eventually just like in every other country which is on our playing field with prescriptions. Everyone got over it pretty quickly.

Plus they didn't even have to ban it. If they'd actually implemented the monitoring programme properly like with pseudoephedrine, they could easily have monitored for excessive usage to prevent abusers from accessing it. They. Didn't. Want. To.

They WANTED to outright ban it, it wasn't about the users that was just the excuse.

 

[OrbitalCombustion]

Update. (I'll be doing these for my memory or if anyone gives af about my progress).

Saturday night was hell. No sleep, constant pain, RLS, and the sweating, my god my sheets were drenched in sweat that literally smells of tobacco and poppy seeds. What have I become? What am I doing? Should I just go grab a kilo at the local restaurant wholesaler and fuck this shit to hell? I don't know. Lucky, thank God that they're closed today, or I'd have been there waiting as they opened. I was quick to blame the plant sure, but the plant isn't what forced me to over indulge and to cover up my past traumas from a kidnap, and multiple prison stints.

The consistent headache is becoming frustrating, the lack of being able to relax... And oddly, I've completely forgot how to play the fucking guitar (although vocally I feel I'm going through a growth of sorts, maturing, kind of digging deep inside my soul bringing up past pains and using that to record and write, which I always do when I have a mental health crisis, not so much to show anyone or release said songs, but to remind me of this time in my life and to show my children what I've gone through).

I'm 38, not old, not young. Willie Nelson, who I idolise, never made it but until his early 40s. Same as Waylon Jennings and Johnny Cash... This has got me thinking of the time Cash performed "A Junkies Prayer"... Aaaaand writing that has again brought on the tears. I'm letting them flow now. I haven't cried for a solid ten years. Not when my life was almost taken, not when I was locked up for growing pot, not when my dad received his cancer diagnosis. But now, I'm crying more than I have in my entire 38 years of life. Over nothing... Over fucking commercials I see on YouTube. Over threads in Bluelight, over music. I can come back from this, but when, how... How can I help the country, the world, see that the real "pandemic" isn't a virus. It's an man made product that is over prescribed, over regulated and completely misunderstood. The services to get the help I and others need, are already stretched to breaking point. I'm sure when my mind is clear, I'll be able to make a plan so as to help those in my situation.

Banning poppy seeds, or any drug, like many here have said. Is pointless. It will only push more people to experiment, and with experimentation comes risk, possibly death. Education and harm reduction is key. Teaching the youth, and the old folks about the powers of this tea, of this plant, needs to begin, before the world starts seeing a whole other kind of junky...

I'll try get out in the sun today and try to get some food that won't come straight back up. I've reached out to a couple friends who are quite high profile musicians, explaining my situation... They've both been more than incredible. But throwing money as an issue won't fix it... It will only create a higher class of misery and pain. One of those I spoke to us currently using a lot of heroin, but hasn't told a soul due to the attack and trial by media that he'd endure. I was shocked, completely, to hear he was using. I knew he smoked more pot than Willie Nelson, but I had no clue, that with all his millions, his sprawling ranch in the Byron Hinterlands, the thousands of hangers on, the women, the goodlife, he is possibly in a worse state than I at this present time. He doesn't want to quit and believes he has it under control, and will reduce his use in time. I can't see it happening. His recent successes in his personal music life tells me the party has only just begun, for want of better words. When I can move, and when I feel I can help, I'll leave my town and stay with him until he goes O.S. to tour. I want to be around people who understand my pain and my past.

Well, I'll try go out and get something to eat, sit in the sun, sink a pack of Marlboros and hope that somehow this starts getting better.

Are you able to get a suboxone/subutex prescription? I feel like this would make your life so much easier. Also, it's good to cry and feel human again. I get the same way. The fog of opiates just numbs us to pain of all kinds. Hope you're doing better, we're here for you.

 

[Kaden_Nite]

@Kaden_Nite read, goose.

Perhaps in future, read the entire thread and don't jump on they keyboard as soon as you see something that you disagree with. "Can't stand people who do this shit" aka abuse others when they disagree with a comment made. On ya bike cock head, it's people like you that the world needs far less of. Judging by your comment you couldn't care less who experiments or worse, ODs from this brew, perhaps you need to re-evaluate some things in your life (possibly a PST addiction you're in denial about).

Oh, so you've gone from narc to spiritual educator overnight. Good for you, but you couldn't be missing the point any more than you are. Either way, you're set on drawing attention to something that isn't a problem for anyone but the few people who choose to go out of their way to find out about it and let it escalate like you did. Then you want to hold someone else accountable?

That's no different than snitching on your dealers when you decide you don't want their drugs anymore - then sitting in court and talking about the need for tougher drug laws.

 

[Kaden_Nite]

Cry me a river, what else was 14 year old me supposed to do? Get heroin? Lol. Christ almighty.

That's just it - codeine wasn't even an issue relative to stuff like heroin and fentanyl. When it was taken away, it only leaves those worse options.

Do the same with Rikodeine or seeds and heroin is what's left. So yeah, I get a bit touchy when people start talking about trying to impose bans on the lesser of evils under the guise of preventing harm when really, it just fucks things up even more.

Look what happened in America. Opioid prescribing became heavily regulated, legal opioids managed by healthcare professionals became almost impossible to get and opioid overdoses skyrocketed as people turned to street fentanyl.

Well done..

 

[Eligiu]

That's just it - codeine wasn't even an issue relative to stuff like heroin and fentanyl. When it was taken away, it only leaves those worse options.

Do the same with Rikodeine or seeds and heroin is what's left. So yeah, I get a bit touchy when people start talking about trying to impose bans on the lesser of evils under the guise of preventing harm when really, it just fucks things up even more.

Look what happened in America. Opioid prescribing became heavily regulated, legal opioids managed by healthcare professionals became almost impossible to get and opioid overdoses skyrocketed as people turned to street fentanyl.

Well done..

Again, I was 14. You think teenage me in Adelaide had access to some sweet China white? If it makes you feel better, by the time I was an adult I was shooting h every day like a 'responsible adult' so idk why you have a problem with me, I was barely using codeine the last time I was on hardcore opiates in 2016-2017. They were a stop gap in case I couldn't get my source.

You didn't address my point anyway. We had a prescription monitoring system for codeine that was rolled out over the whole country. We know it works, because it works perfectly well for pseudoephedrine and has done so for years. They could have left codeine on this level of restriction - monitored sales.

They didn't. Why? Because codeine is actually for the most part an ineffective painkiller, with a higher addiction risk than is safe. Studies have been done showing that mixing ibuprofen and Panadol together at a certain ratio (I forget it) has better pain relief qualities than codeine. They wanted people to stop using it for mild pain, because they were freaked out about the opiate epidemic in the US and worried that codeine was a stepping stone to stronger prescription and illicit painkillers. That's why they made it prescription only instead of pharmacist only monitored medication.

I mean I myself used it for physical pain primarily, so I wasn't really doing anything wrong, initially. Then I got hooked as a teenager and it was stupid easy to get.

My point is, the government had it's eyes on banning codeine entirely basically as soon as they started publicising the negative associations with it. It was impressively rapid. And I say this as someone who was ardently following the updates. Don't blame anyone but them. The solution was already there in the live monitoring programme.

 

[AyahuascaSeeker]

Are you able to get a suboxone/subutex prescription? I feel like this would make your life so much easier. Also, it's good to cry and feel human again. I get the same way. The fog of opiates just numbs us to pain of all kinds. Hope you're doing better, we're here for you.

This is the first message I read so I'll reply in order. I'm still in hell, because I'm in a regional area in Victoria, literally 6 hours from Melbourne it's almost impossible to get onto a program. I've had a bloke at hrvic try his damn hardest to get me onto the Suboxone program, but as of right now, no luck. Honestly, feel pretty fkn hopeless.

 

[AyahuascaSeeker]

Oh, so you've gone from narc to spiritual educator overnight. Good for you, but you couldn't be missing the point any more than you are. Either way, you're set on drawing attention to something that isn't a problem for anyone but the few people who choose to go out of their way to find out about it and let it escalate like you did. Then you want to hold someone else accountable?

That's no different than snitching on your dealers when you decide you don't want their drugs anymore - then sitting in court and talking about the need for tougher drug laws.

Can admin ban this goose and delete the posts. They are offering no help apart from abuse. @andyturbo

 

[AyahuascaSeeker]

Again, I was 14. You think teenage me in Adelaide had access to some sweet China white? If it makes you feel better, by the time I was an adult I was shooting h every day like a 'responsible adult' so idk why you have a problem with me, I was barely using codeine the last time I was on hardcore opiates in 2016-2017. They were a stop gap in case I couldn't get my source.

You didn't address my point anyway. We had a prescription monitoring system for codeine that was rolled out over the whole country. We know it works, because it works perfectly well for pseudoephedrine and has done so for years. They could have left codeine on this level of restriction - monitored sales.

They didn't. Why? Because codeine is actually for the most part an ineffective painkiller, with a higher addiction risk than is safe. Studies have been done showing that mixing ibuprofen and Panadol together at a certain ratio (I forget it) has better pain relief qualities than codeine. They wanted people to stop using it for mild pain, because they were freaked out about the opiate epidemic in the US and worried that codeine was a stepping stone to stronger prescription and illicit painkillers. That's why they made it prescription only instead of pharmacist only monitored medication.

I mean I myself used it for physical pain primarily, so I wasn't really doing anything wrong, initially. Then I got hooked as a teenager and it was stupid easy to get.

My point is, the government had it's eyes on banning codeine entirely basically as soon as they started publicising the negative associations with it. It was impressively rapid. And I say this as someone who was ardently following the updates. Don't blame anyone but them. The solution was already there in the live monitoring programme.

Everything you said is completely spot on.

 

[Kaden_Nite]

Again, I was 14. You think teenage me in Adelaide had access to some sweet China white? If it makes you feel better, by the time I was an adult I was shooting h every day like a 'responsible adult' so idk why you have a problem with me

I don't have a problem with you! Definitely not saying you should have used heroin either. Was saying the complete opposite actually.

 

[AyahuascaSeeker]

I don't have a problem with you! Definitely not saying you should have used heroin either. Was saying the complete opposite actually.

Why do you attack people to push your views, your opinion. Because that's all it is. If this triggers you so much, go do something that actually stimulates your mind. Cut the abuse and voice your opinion without putting others, who you know nothing about, down.

 

[Kaden_Nite]

Can admin ban this goose and delete the posts. They are offering no help apart from abuse. @andyturbo

Yes, management will be along shortly to address your concerns.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Can admin ban this goose and delete the posts. They are offering no help apart from abuse. @andyturbo

Not likely. Poster isn't violating blua. You just don't like what you are reading. Everyone on here isn't all love and kisses and poor baby. Some are the realists and the truth always hurts.

 

[yubacity]

I'm disappointed in myself. Big time. I know better than this and I'm always (usually) the one people come to for help - especially when they want advice about this drug or that drug, or how they should taper off this or that. But I have now become the one who needs help, and I have no one I can go to. I guess I'm a bit gutless hiding behind a pseudonym, but anyway... Here goes.

Long (Loooooooong) story short, doc got me started with Panadeine Forte, then learned the fine art of CWE when Panadeine EXTRA could be bought OTC... Then started switching up to oxys, morphine, endones - never went for H, makes no difference if I did really. Aussie Government made it almost impossible to get a script for any opiate and banned the OTC sales of codeine containing products. Discovered Rikodeine, got red flagged on the fucking pharmacists database and my time was over. Found Kratom, stuck with that for 3 years, then got black listed with customs. Then I moved on to poppy seeds, those life sucking dark blue balls of misery. I have (had) a source that supplies me with very high quality unwashed seeds so the resulting "tea" is strong. Started on 100g which would keep me well for a day or so, then slowly, slowly... Got to the point where I'm washing batches of 700-900grams, just to feel normal. So much more could be said, but I'll leave it there.

So I'm done. My bins are full of poppy seeds, my supplier is unreliable, the local supermarkets have suspiciously removed poppy seeds from their shelves (no doubt after I'd buy all their stock the second they stocked up)... I'm holding onto life by a few threads and still able to hide all this from the majority of my family, friends and loved ones.

Going to go cold turkey, have a script for clonidine that I'm getting filled first thing in the AM, once I have those (apparently) life saving pills (during WDs) I'm saying good fucking riddance to opiates and hopefully, start a slow but bearable journey back to who I was before this toxic chemical took over my being.

Big BIG love. Be safe, be happy.

PS: Been a member in the past, lost my password lol lurked for years, and only recently came back. I was super active during the Mr. Blonde (user here who I got friendly with IRL) days. So decided to post this here as a way to remind myself to never go back to opi8land.

Good luck to you brother you can do it and comfort meds are a must you wont get a medal for cold turkey . I been addicted to pods and heroin 15 years but dont want to scare you heroin an easier kick. It a month wd including week of of hell but fuck it you will do it . I want to see you on here in a month once you done because thats when the real work starts