Opiatehell85
Bluelighter
Hi all,
ive been on supervised buprenophine for almost a week now, 8mg of a morning in front of pharmacist then 2mg to take home to use before bed time if I need it (I usually do) and this is gonna be my dosage for the next month according to my key worker.
now what bothers me is the supervised bit, I feel totally ashamed taking it In front of everyone at the pharmacy, he makes no effort to hide it from any other customers. The pharmacy I chose is in a deprived area away from my home, the reason being is because 1. I wanted them to be more experienced with supervised treatments, 2. I don't want to bump into people I know. 3. I don't want my usual pharmacist knowing either. Plus this pharmacy is literally next door to rehab so there's less chance of me losing my script on the way!
Ive spoken to the rehab dr about letting me take a weeks worth of tablets home, and he won't let me, only of a weekend when pharmacy is closed, I'm then allowed to take 20mg home to last the weekend. His reason being is that I have a history of abusing tablets so he thinks I could potentially abuse these too.
ive been nothing but honest to both the dr and key worker in rehab, and all my drug tests have been clean. I have no history of any other medication abuse and I've never used heroin, crack, needles etc (I don't have anything against people who do, but I just couldn't do it myself) I've explained this to them and that I'm really gonna try my best with this detox and have no intention of abusing bupe, (it doesn't even give me any high) but they are still reluctant.
to paint a picture of myself, I'm 30 years old, well dressed with good hygiene, don't leave home without my hair done and make up on, I work full time running my own business, have three children one who's disabled. Yes I have abused tablets but I've done it because of severe hip pain, and my own gp not complying with me to send me to pain management, even after begging her for three years. They also helped with my mind after a really shitty life since I was a child, I'm main carer for my disabled son and had tried CT for over a week and it just got too hard mentally, the physical withdrawal was easy in comparison.
Does anyone have advice on getting around the supervised bit? I'm having to travel a 30 minute bus ride every morning to do it, which I wouldn't mind if I didn't work or have to drag my children along, but I just can't take the embarrassment of it all, I know I'll probably get some grief here and I know it's a small price to pay and I got myself into this mess in the first place, I know all that already. I just don't want to fail my detox because I feel to ashamed to do my daily pick up. Addiction really sucks, but it's day 12 of being clean which is amazing for me.
Sorry about rabbling on, but I am feeling very upset about the situation. If other people can't trust me, then how can I learn to trust myself, they obviously think I'm gonna fail as soon as I see 7 days worth of tablets, but I won't, I'm determined to stay away from medication abuse!
ive been on supervised buprenophine for almost a week now, 8mg of a morning in front of pharmacist then 2mg to take home to use before bed time if I need it (I usually do) and this is gonna be my dosage for the next month according to my key worker.
now what bothers me is the supervised bit, I feel totally ashamed taking it In front of everyone at the pharmacy, he makes no effort to hide it from any other customers. The pharmacy I chose is in a deprived area away from my home, the reason being is because 1. I wanted them to be more experienced with supervised treatments, 2. I don't want to bump into people I know. 3. I don't want my usual pharmacist knowing either. Plus this pharmacy is literally next door to rehab so there's less chance of me losing my script on the way!
Ive spoken to the rehab dr about letting me take a weeks worth of tablets home, and he won't let me, only of a weekend when pharmacy is closed, I'm then allowed to take 20mg home to last the weekend. His reason being is that I have a history of abusing tablets so he thinks I could potentially abuse these too.
ive been nothing but honest to both the dr and key worker in rehab, and all my drug tests have been clean. I have no history of any other medication abuse and I've never used heroin, crack, needles etc (I don't have anything against people who do, but I just couldn't do it myself) I've explained this to them and that I'm really gonna try my best with this detox and have no intention of abusing bupe, (it doesn't even give me any high) but they are still reluctant.
to paint a picture of myself, I'm 30 years old, well dressed with good hygiene, don't leave home without my hair done and make up on, I work full time running my own business, have three children one who's disabled. Yes I have abused tablets but I've done it because of severe hip pain, and my own gp not complying with me to send me to pain management, even after begging her for three years. They also helped with my mind after a really shitty life since I was a child, I'm main carer for my disabled son and had tried CT for over a week and it just got too hard mentally, the physical withdrawal was easy in comparison.
Does anyone have advice on getting around the supervised bit? I'm having to travel a 30 minute bus ride every morning to do it, which I wouldn't mind if I didn't work or have to drag my children along, but I just can't take the embarrassment of it all, I know I'll probably get some grief here and I know it's a small price to pay and I got myself into this mess in the first place, I know all that already. I just don't want to fail my detox because I feel to ashamed to do my daily pick up. Addiction really sucks, but it's day 12 of being clean which is amazing for me.
Sorry about rabbling on, but I am feeling very upset about the situation. If other people can't trust me, then how can I learn to trust myself, they obviously think I'm gonna fail as soon as I see 7 days worth of tablets, but I won't, I'm determined to stay away from medication abuse!