Help?!?!
Bluelighter
The revolution began with the ingestion of a capsule of 3-MeO-PCP which contained 10.2ish mgs. This would be my second time dosing this substance and another time whirling through dissociated bound space. This night began with fairly grandiose times and thoughts in mind, but I had no idea would be that this night would be so substantial. I came up fairly nicely on the 3-MeO-PCP, but I had expected this. I lowered the dose and took .5mgs of Clonazepam just due to a bit of muscle tension and a bit of anxiety(pretty normal for me and was at a low enough level that a small dose of Clonaz would surely knock it out). I was really feeling great as I had just been doing some last touch minute cleaning. I was in the middle of vacuuming when I the bits of tension and anxiety melt away. I could feel the 3-MeO begin to take root. I noticed, at first I didn't even notice. After a few moments I realized the extreme vigor that was going on with the vacuuming. I was just really vacuuming the fuck out of everything. When I was done I knew the 3-MeO had definitely taken hold because I sat down and turned on some tunes, grabbed the hash pipe. After taking a few drags, I looked around proudly, far to proud. I knew the 3-MeO was boosting my ego and making me pat myself on the back, I mean I did a damn fine job with it, but once again it was vacuuming a somewhat large area sooo... I sat back and really got into the music. I was sucking down the hash and some JWH's(a mixture of 250/122/210). If anyone was around they would know I was really enjoying this time. because I was singing and dancing to the music. Singing alone is something I would normally do, but I need some sort of substance in me to really dance and enjoy it. At these times its just like my body must groove to the music. It just has to happen and I doubt I could stop it even if I wanted. 
Its not surprising though because besides MDMA/Mesc/LSD nothing on this planet makes me want to dance like MXE.
I thought earlier about the needle sitting in my fridge. It had been there for a month or so, waiting, basically screaming out to me to inject it. I just had to find the perfect time when I was in the perfect frame of mind and had other precautions in place previously unavailable for a time. I took the syringe out of the fridge and held it up to the light. Crystal clear just like when I put it in. Just thinking about what the needle contained got muh dick rock hard....well not totally probably a semi but anyways I also respected it because I knew the power it contained and what it could do. The contents of the needle were as follows: 175ish mgs of K(not exactly sure, it was atleast 150, but I drew a bit more from the vial into one night), 60 mgs of beautiful crystal shards of MDMA, and 30ish mgs of DPT(was originally 20 added more that same night as the K). I retrieved all the materials needed for the injection. Forgot to refresh myself on proper VL IM technique as it had been sometime since I had done it and being myself wanted to make sure everything was perfect even though I remembered everything line for line myself, but better safe than sorry! Was actually getting aggravated as my lap top kept freezing something it seems to love doing the second I need it to look up one singular thing very quickly. It finally worked and I got everything set up. I get the needle into my leg and for the first time ever really inject it slowly(comically for the first time ever it actually significantly burned/etc. so it was well worth it, besides this one was pretty sore after). In the middle the plunger got stuck, it was actually really irritating because I thought I was just fucked and imagining that I was putting as much pressure on the needle as I was and it was just not moving. I worked with it and somehow got it unclogged as it seriously felt like I would have to take it out and do something to get it going. Anyways, I was pantless as it would be easier just to toss my pants on the couch and inject then get up repants myself and sit. This however turned out to be difficult. In the middle of my repanting, I got one of my super powerful urges to dose a cap of Mesc. All I had weighed was a 750 mg cap which was a bit to much(didn't want to have to end up puking or getting completely blown)so I quickly hurried over to the scale, weighed it, and capped it in an amazingly fast amount of time. As I was eating the cap of Mesc I reached into my pocket to grab something and felt the blue bumblebee pill someone had gifted me a couple weeks earlier. I wasn't planning on eating this but, I kept making plans to eat it with a dose of the amazing crystal molly as this seemed the best time, and well I had just injected 60 mgs of it into my leg so I figured better now than never. Now, I can't remember getting back to the recliner, but here was the rematch between myself and the pants. I can't say if I was ready for the fight because I lost the fight again, but before your like "Jesus....mother fucker can't even get his pants on...!", it wasn't so much the pants giving me trouble but the suspenders I had on to hold them up. Right when I got the pants up and in the correct position, the first wave of MDxx sex washed right over me.
Then the ket hit next, my legs were quickly turning concrete and I knew standing wouldn't be an option much longer. I just could not get these suspenders to work with me though, I imagine if you were to view it like it was through a camera lens, you would see it like an old Three Stooges montage. It was like I would get one side of the suspenders braced on only to have the back part disconnect and fall down. I wouldn't notice this and get the other side going, but its hard to get the back connected with both sides. If you would have added some zinging music in the background it would have been perfect. Another blackout as I don't remember losing the pants battle royal and sitting but I am. I can only remember hitting some of the earwax hash. I took such a large rip by accident, as in my fucked state I didn't have to grand of perception. As I exhaled the smoke, instantly my vision was segmented and broken multiple ways, the best way I can describe it is like looking through a fly's eye. Simultaneously as this happened, I holed and I depersonalized and began to watch myself through a million lens at once. It was astounding and quite breathtaking/beautiful. I remember the beginning of the transition but not clearly. I just remember that moment when it changed. I entered the hole quickly or maybe abruptly is a better word. Maybe thats why I can't remember the beginning of the evolution, only existing afterwards. The place I came to a halt at, I decided days after was like the place of beginning. A space where all forms of life had began, continuing on with the thought I realized though that this was not only the beginning, but the end. It was also the middle, a paradox of existence, like the everything and nothing scenario. That was like this plane, it was supreme, yet at its core, like all things it was meaningless and nothingness. When I reached this plane I realized or rather became aware that I had evolved. The velocity of the evolution was quite fierce. I felt like I neared the very end of it all, though to me that isn't saying much as evolution is a nearly boundless thing. Anyways I had evolved to a spectacular point. Physically I didn't evolve much at all, or rather that is to say I lost my physical form all together. I existed in a state more as pure energy and consciousness than as matter. I began to exist in a state of blackness that was not dark or bleak, yet bright. It was like I was blind but could see, or maybe rather just knew or sensed my surroundings and built a perceptual picture through this. I could feel the consciousnesses of the animals around me. Very powerfully the ones close and I could even feel distant bits which I assumed were neighbors/etc. It was such a powerful feeling/existence. It was like time was stopped, by my will, my mastery, my simple yet literal existence. I could move close and feel everything about the other living consciousness around me. After a while it almost felt to much, to strong like I was blending with them, becoming to connected to their essence or being. I persisted for a while though, studying, traveling, and just existing in this space. Its almost what I imagine attaining the Buddhist idea of enlightenment and thus ending your life cycle. Existing in that space is what I literally could imagine and or equate it to feeling like, though this is obviously a guess. Just the simple feeling of being and living in this state was transcendent. The feelings were almost indescribable in any true detail, at least during this time period. After awhile I began to feel like it was becoming straining to be in this space, to be so close to other beings energies in a purer form. It was like I could become to sucked into their beings and the borders of my own would begin to slowly dissolve if I wasn't careful and watched closely. It was almost like I was a building inside of a larger building, eventually time will decay the larger building and it would collapse into the smaller, no longer able to discern which was the larger/which was the smaller. So I turned on an intriguing TV show. I was still way to far gone to even watch TV so I just continued smoking the blueberry hash and JWH's. I picked up my n2o canister after a few solid smokes of the noids though and..well I inhaled two chargers the world around me fragmented. I was launched into the space though a different portion, which was pretty astounding under the influence of n2o. I spent one portion of the trips in n2o space wondering what such an odd noise could be clambering out off. After coming down and investigating I discovered it was my dog snoring. The rest of the night was spent pondering and occasionally flipping on the TV to watch a good show or movie, oh and insufflating DPT/4-HO-MET/4-AcO-MiPT. I wish I could have traveled outside but the dreary wetness of now was just to disappointing. Plus it was 10ish PM when I injected it. I also ate 4 hits of purple ohm's sometime during, but can't really remember when(the hits are near the scale so I probably grabbed 'em then but can't be sure). I'll probably add more to this as I wrote it in a bit of a rush and left out the finer details and certain portions. To make it easy, the list is probably, 4 hits LSD, 175 mgs IM K/30 mgs DPT/60 mgs MDMA, 10ish mgs 4-HO-MET, 10ish mgs 4-AcO-MiPT, 250 mgs Mesc, Blue bumblebee 2c-B pill, probably no more than 250 mgs DPT.
Oh and wrote these sometime during: "It felt like I was truly traveling , or rather more like truly ascending and evolving, moving further to exist on a distant fairly complex plane. My physical was not affected by the evolution like thought would think, but rather it was decreased or shrunken. My spiritual was expounded like never before, multiplied by folds nearly unthought or unimagined. My mental truly and fully unimagined. I existed more as a super charged consciousness than an actual being. I could feel the existence and isms the other beings around me....." "It was simply ecstatic ecstasy to just exist. My thoughts flowed so clearly yet with such intensity, similar to a river flowing with vehement power in its current, thoughts. Once again I feel the extravagant power of humbling grace flow through with an electric current."
I love dissosciative's power to make you feel so important or special for no other cause than you using a chemical. Making you think your God suddenly or that some moments were handcrafted for you. So funny. I have yet to be so taken that I write a ten page manuscript of babble about JC/God and me but......who knows anything is possible!
Also this is my real first TR I believe so be gentle.
Its not surprising though because besides MDMA/Mesc/LSD nothing on this planet makes me want to dance like MXE. I thought earlier about the needle sitting in my fridge. It had been there for a month or so, waiting, basically screaming out to me to inject it. I just had to find the perfect time when I was in the perfect frame of mind and had other precautions in place previously unavailable for a time. I took the syringe out of the fridge and held it up to the light. Crystal clear just like when I put it in. Just thinking about what the needle contained got muh dick rock hard....well not totally probably a semi but anyways I also respected it because I knew the power it contained and what it could do. The contents of the needle were as follows: 175ish mgs of K(not exactly sure, it was atleast 150, but I drew a bit more from the vial into one night), 60 mgs of beautiful crystal shards of MDMA, and 30ish mgs of DPT(was originally 20 added more that same night as the K). I retrieved all the materials needed for the injection. Forgot to refresh myself on proper VL IM technique as it had been sometime since I had done it and being myself wanted to make sure everything was perfect even though I remembered everything line for line myself, but better safe than sorry! Was actually getting aggravated as my lap top kept freezing something it seems to love doing the second I need it to look up one singular thing very quickly. It finally worked and I got everything set up. I get the needle into my leg and for the first time ever really inject it slowly(comically for the first time ever it actually significantly burned/etc. so it was well worth it, besides this one was pretty sore after). In the middle the plunger got stuck, it was actually really irritating because I thought I was just fucked and imagining that I was putting as much pressure on the needle as I was and it was just not moving. I worked with it and somehow got it unclogged as it seriously felt like I would have to take it out and do something to get it going. Anyways, I was pantless as it would be easier just to toss my pants on the couch and inject then get up repants myself and sit. This however turned out to be difficult. In the middle of my repanting, I got one of my super powerful urges to dose a cap of Mesc. All I had weighed was a 750 mg cap which was a bit to much(didn't want to have to end up puking or getting completely blown)so I quickly hurried over to the scale, weighed it, and capped it in an amazingly fast amount of time. As I was eating the cap of Mesc I reached into my pocket to grab something and felt the blue bumblebee pill someone had gifted me a couple weeks earlier. I wasn't planning on eating this but, I kept making plans to eat it with a dose of the amazing crystal molly as this seemed the best time, and well I had just injected 60 mgs of it into my leg so I figured better now than never. Now, I can't remember getting back to the recliner, but here was the rematch between myself and the pants. I can't say if I was ready for the fight because I lost the fight again, but before your like "Jesus....mother fucker can't even get his pants on...!", it wasn't so much the pants giving me trouble but the suspenders I had on to hold them up. Right when I got the pants up and in the correct position, the first wave of MDxx sex washed right over me.
Then the ket hit next, my legs were quickly turning concrete and I knew standing wouldn't be an option much longer. I just could not get these suspenders to work with me though, I imagine if you were to view it like it was through a camera lens, you would see it like an old Three Stooges montage. It was like I would get one side of the suspenders braced on only to have the back part disconnect and fall down. I wouldn't notice this and get the other side going, but its hard to get the back connected with both sides. If you would have added some zinging music in the background it would have been perfect. Another blackout as I don't remember losing the pants battle royal and sitting but I am. I can only remember hitting some of the earwax hash. I took such a large rip by accident, as in my fucked state I didn't have to grand of perception. As I exhaled the smoke, instantly my vision was segmented and broken multiple ways, the best way I can describe it is like looking through a fly's eye. Simultaneously as this happened, I holed and I depersonalized and began to watch myself through a million lens at once. It was astounding and quite breathtaking/beautiful. I remember the beginning of the transition but not clearly. I just remember that moment when it changed. I entered the hole quickly or maybe abruptly is a better word. Maybe thats why I can't remember the beginning of the evolution, only existing afterwards. The place I came to a halt at, I decided days after was like the place of beginning. A space where all forms of life had began, continuing on with the thought I realized though that this was not only the beginning, but the end. It was also the middle, a paradox of existence, like the everything and nothing scenario. That was like this plane, it was supreme, yet at its core, like all things it was meaningless and nothingness. When I reached this plane I realized or rather became aware that I had evolved. The velocity of the evolution was quite fierce. I felt like I neared the very end of it all, though to me that isn't saying much as evolution is a nearly boundless thing. Anyways I had evolved to a spectacular point. Physically I didn't evolve much at all, or rather that is to say I lost my physical form all together. I existed in a state more as pure energy and consciousness than as matter. I began to exist in a state of blackness that was not dark or bleak, yet bright. It was like I was blind but could see, or maybe rather just knew or sensed my surroundings and built a perceptual picture through this. I could feel the consciousnesses of the animals around me. Very powerfully the ones close and I could even feel distant bits which I assumed were neighbors/etc. It was such a powerful feeling/existence. It was like time was stopped, by my will, my mastery, my simple yet literal existence. I could move close and feel everything about the other living consciousness around me. After a while it almost felt to much, to strong like I was blending with them, becoming to connected to their essence or being. I persisted for a while though, studying, traveling, and just existing in this space. Its almost what I imagine attaining the Buddhist idea of enlightenment and thus ending your life cycle. Existing in that space is what I literally could imagine and or equate it to feeling like, though this is obviously a guess. Just the simple feeling of being and living in this state was transcendent. The feelings were almost indescribable in any true detail, at least during this time period. After awhile I began to feel like it was becoming straining to be in this space, to be so close to other beings energies in a purer form. It was like I could become to sucked into their beings and the borders of my own would begin to slowly dissolve if I wasn't careful and watched closely. It was almost like I was a building inside of a larger building, eventually time will decay the larger building and it would collapse into the smaller, no longer able to discern which was the larger/which was the smaller. So I turned on an intriguing TV show. I was still way to far gone to even watch TV so I just continued smoking the blueberry hash and JWH's. I picked up my n2o canister after a few solid smokes of the noids though and..well I inhaled two chargers the world around me fragmented. I was launched into the space though a different portion, which was pretty astounding under the influence of n2o. I spent one portion of the trips in n2o space wondering what such an odd noise could be clambering out off. After coming down and investigating I discovered it was my dog snoring. The rest of the night was spent pondering and occasionally flipping on the TV to watch a good show or movie, oh and insufflating DPT/4-HO-MET/4-AcO-MiPT. I wish I could have traveled outside but the dreary wetness of now was just to disappointing. Plus it was 10ish PM when I injected it. I also ate 4 hits of purple ohm's sometime during, but can't really remember when(the hits are near the scale so I probably grabbed 'em then but can't be sure). I'll probably add more to this as I wrote it in a bit of a rush and left out the finer details and certain portions. To make it easy, the list is probably, 4 hits LSD, 175 mgs IM K/30 mgs DPT/60 mgs MDMA, 10ish mgs 4-HO-MET, 10ish mgs 4-AcO-MiPT, 250 mgs Mesc, Blue bumblebee 2c-B pill, probably no more than 250 mgs DPT.
Oh and wrote these sometime during: "It felt like I was truly traveling , or rather more like truly ascending and evolving, moving further to exist on a distant fairly complex plane. My physical was not affected by the evolution like thought would think, but rather it was decreased or shrunken. My spiritual was expounded like never before, multiplied by folds nearly unthought or unimagined. My mental truly and fully unimagined. I existed more as a super charged consciousness than an actual being. I could feel the existence and isms the other beings around me....." "It was simply ecstatic ecstasy to just exist. My thoughts flowed so clearly yet with such intensity, similar to a river flowing with vehement power in its current, thoughts. Once again I feel the extravagant power of humbling grace flow through with an electric current."
I love dissosciative's power to make you feel so important or special for no other cause than you using a chemical. Making you think your God suddenly or that some moments were handcrafted for you. So funny. I have yet to be so taken that I write a ten page manuscript of babble about JC/God and me but......who knows anything is possible!
Also this is my real first TR I believe so be gentle.
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also readers should take care never to measure out doses while under the influence...
