[poem] (would love your opinions) Not Today.

[missmegandelaney]

She gets out of bed before then sun is up. She feels like today won't be her day.
Not Today, not today.
She checks the voicemail on the phone. He didn't call, but she knows he will. She hopes he will.
Not today, not today.
She puts on a dress that makes her feel lovely, but no one compliments the girl.
Not today, not today.
She waits for a boy to tell her she's beautiful, like he used to do.
Not today, not today.
She studied for her exams, but she didn't pass them. Guess she'll have to study harder.
Not today, not today.
She sits alone at lunch, because she think society wouldn't dare like her.
Not today, not today.
She walks home and passes his house. She thinks about stopping by, but is too nervous.
Not today, not today.
Homework can be done later, she isn't in the mood she thinks.
Not today, not today.
He used to eat dinner with her.
Not today, not today.
She didn't mean to tell on her lover.
Not today, not today.
She hasn't been the same girl since he went away. She thinks she'll never be the same.
Not today, not today.
The doctor says to take her meds, but they don't help. Nothing will take her sadness away.
Not today, not today.
She misses the way he used to beat her. His beatings made bruises that still have yet to fade.
Not today, not today.
She gets out of bed before then sun is up. She feels like today won't be her day.
Not today, not today.

 

[debaser]

Hmm, repetitive poetry, why not?

I like it

 

[ForEverAfter]

Fantastic. It's difficult to pull off that level of repetition. There's two things I don't like in poetry as a general rule and those are: rhyme and repetition. Because, more often than not, they are used to ill effect. This, however, is a seriously accomplished piece of poetry. Could do with a bit of tightening up here and there. But I like the rawness of it, and I'm not sure if I'd want to see that compromised. You express a great deal. Some very difficult truths, too - which are the best kind. Sometimes, I think the world would be a much happier place if we all just admitted how miserable we are.

She misses the way he used to beat her. His beatings made bruises that still have yet to fade.

^This is my favorite line.

She waits for a boy to tell her she's beautiful, like he used to do.

I constantly see women who I suspect don't know how beautiful they are. I want to tell them that they're gorgeous, then just walk away - so they know I'm not saying it just to get in their pants. So they know they are beautiful. But, I am so full of self-hatred that I think they would despise me for such a declaration. Or despise themselves for attracting the attention of such a loser. Still, it baffles me as to how women - these stunning creatures - lose sight of how incredible they truly are.

I'm a little depressed today. But, I loved your poem.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[missmegandelaney]

Thank you everyone.
Your feedback made my day.