POEM Of how life goes so often for me

I want to yell,
I want to scream,
I want you to see what I mean!

But the louder I yell,
the less you hear.
Then I'm overwhelmed with fear.

I spoke too soon.
I said to much.
Anger, with a violent touch.

I should have kept silent.
I shouldn't have said...
all this now racing through my head.

I'm sorry I beg
and start to cry
to you, its just another thorn in your eye.

I'm not worth it to you.
You think I play a game.
It always happens just the same.

"I don't need this shit."
and off you go.
This is all to well know.

I wish I could fix it,
but its too late.
Now I must just accept my fate.

Another rejection,
another one gone.
It always has to go so wrong.

I can't forget you,
even though I wish I could,
and after all, I really should.

But for some reason, I can't.
Just like the one before,
who walked out, slamming the door.

You think I'd run out of room,
run out of pain and tears,
you don't when being alone is one of your greatest fears.

There I am, alone again.
I tell myself this is the way its gonna be.
And I have no one to blame,
no one but me.

(I don't know why I'm still here (on BL) anyone have any other suggestions of a place I can go?)