Poem about self-harm.

[Thick_as_a_Planck]

Hi - although I'm not too sure about the power of my words I guess the usual warnings about triggers and the like do apply. Be careful.

This was written about 18 months ago during a period when I was cutting myself. I've now stopped and find it hard even to remember the mindset that led to it, let alone imagine how I thought it was a good thing to do. But then I was crazy, so not that surprising. Anyway enough rambling, here's a poem.


Ice-hot edge, slip me quickly,
Bloodless parting, chicken skin.

Your slow welling is like bursting buds
At spring, rising and relaxing up, the life of me

To tremble at the lip, to hold itself
For unknown moments, then to tip

Warmly across the arm - red stream, run!
Turn over flesh, seek out.

Crimson drops, you find the floor:
I don’t know who is dirtied more.



Hope you liked it. Put down your razors people, one day you will all be OK!

 

[Baker]

Wow, this poem got me good.
I've been in the states where I've thought of suicide and I've thought of self harm. But I've never been one to follow through with anything than a day. Same applies to drug induced mind- states when I'm afraid I'll never be the same again. The next day is always better, provided I don't end up doing something silly while in the mind state that leads to even worse feelings that compile with the embarrassment or hangover. I always found the thought of being able to commit suicide, or self-harm quite alleviating in itself. It's like, knowing you have an escape route, but knowing that it's there is enough.

 

[Raz]

Crimson drops, you find the floor:
I don’t know who is dirtied more.

Ahh so true a sentiment..

Not a true reality though.....hurting yourself is a coping mechanism (albeit not a very healthy one), and nothing to be ashamed of; of course it's not always easy to see that when you're in the middle of it.

I remember I threw all my sheets out, because it was too hard to come up with excuses as to why my bedding was covered in blood all the time.

I personally look at cutting as being like alcoholism, for me at least anyway; that I will never stop being a cutter, I will just try not to cut. And it's been a couple of years since I have, so I think I'm doing well. Good on you for getting out of that frame of mind, it's a really difficult thing to do.

Thanks for posting this, I think it's something that lots of people relate to but don't necessarily feel comfortable to admit.