poem about death

[brainlinker]

He lay, his motion spent
Unable to achieve feeling or thought
He, unable to connect emotion to his body
Gasped as the breath left the vessel of his life.

With the last smile imprinted on his face,
He carried on dreaming.
He dreamt of Xanadu and music
And applause, the things his existence were owed.

That unwilling martyr I knew so well,
That man who saved me from myself
Now floating, eternally into a new reality
Leaving us waiting for our own beautiful deadly moment.

Warning, there was none for him... or us.
In a second he had lived and died,
We’ve been left with deaths grim imprint
Now that God’s plucked one more son.

Things said spring to my mind every second
And remind me I am not whole
And to look upon the smiling world he once graced
I’m filled with loneliness, without him I have no place.



this poem is untitled, i wrote it about my best friend who died suddenly about 2 months ago. I would appreciate any imput at all.

 

[Psychedelics_r_best]

Any poems good but I think some sort of rhyme scheme or rhythmical device should be implanted.

 

[cherub]

this is a good piece,,,, emotions of what reality is and how one may look at dealth,, i hope you can move on and just not forget... good luck!