Hi guys I'm new and I'd really appreciate some help with working out what's going on with myself, I've used MDMA [or so i believe it was] twice.
My first experience was at a party with a reasonably large amount of people, pretty much everyone I knew and there was generally a good feel, originally I and my girlfriend were going to do MD with one other experienced user, me and girlfriend on somewhere between 200-250mg [edit- on recommendation from experienced user that this dose was required for it to work...], experienced user on 500mg, however it ended up that a friend of my girlfriend's wanted in so my girlfriend split her dose into roughly 100mg/150mg [ish], the friend consuming the smaller dose. This was believed by the experienced user to be an analogue due to taking up to 2 hours to 'come up', however me, girlfriend and friend consumed ours at about 10pm then went off our own ways [I should've mentioned I'd had no more than a few slices of toast to eat in the past 10 hours that day and drank a couple of beers prior to dosing & weight is roughly 65kg]. Me and girlfriend went outside for a smoke, and about 20 minutes later girlfriend seemed to be coming up feeling tingly in fingers and starting to seem to feel happy, I noticed slight tingling but no more, this soon faded, we went inside into a room of people dancing, girlfriend and friend definitely come up by this time and loving it, I felt a less than second long twinge of euphoria no more, we then about 45 minutes later went with experienced user into another room onto a sofa all cuddling all but me seeming to feel the warmth/ empathy, 5ish minutes later we move to a bathroom and all have notable pupil dilation, proceed downstairs about an hour after dosing, me still feeling no euphoria however acutely aware of heavy heartbeat akin to what mild to moderate exercise would produce. Also some other moving around half hearted dancing going on, the usual for a party.
About an hour to two hours later everyone but me feeling the warmth and euphoria, I however feel 'cold-sweaty' and fast heart beat, we all start to notice the gurning and try avoid it [i dont know about anyone else but i start to notice eye flickering during this period], and at some point in between those two hours, i believe quite near the start I start to feel as if Im very drunk, motor skills/ balance a little off, talking isn't great i guess slightly difficult, i cant exactly remember but i was aware of ruining my girlfriends roll by stating around those also rolling that I wasnt enjoying/ feeling this, I also really really didnt want to move anywhere, tbh wanted to just curl up. During this time is when i noticed a sort of numbing of emotion, i was sat on the floor with girlfriend, experience user was sat on bed playing guitar next to 'friend', and looking at girlfriend she looked like she was in love with the experienced user and at one point kissed in on the cheek as he admitted an attraction to one of my girlfriends, friends, however i was mentally aware of these thing yet emotionally felt nothing, when normally i'd believe i'd feel a little upset, [idk im just an awkward person/boyfriend/ a bit possessive]. At some point after the second hour i went very pale and nauseous, ran upstairs to bathroom and dry heaved once, then sat on the bathtub edge with a bottle of water till i felt better talking to girlfriend who also felt some nausea however hers passed with no heaving, we remained sat around for a while talking to another not rolling friend and being checked up on by experienced user, and made sure to be slowing drinking water. After a while we just went back to trying to have a good time me still not feeling great or in any way euphoric. 'Friend' left at roughly half 12 still pretty fucking wired, experienced user left at 1ish. I'm struggling to remember much of what happened between between one and twoish, i think it was mostly relaxing around in a bedroom with a couple of others until girlfriend had to leave at 2, drunken-ness feeling lasted a couple of hours but had worn off by time girlfriend left [2am] eye flickering and gurning still present, however it seemed i had come down enough to not feel euphoric but to be able to understand the enjoyment others had gotten from cuddling as before girlfriend left i was cuddling with her, while she was coming down back to normality but feeling short tempered, the normal 'come down'. Sometime after girlfriend left i had a hallucination or a group of people coming down the stairs and sitting on a sofa however no-one saying anything, i didnt question this until the day after and took it to be actually happening, i believe at one point i stood at the bottom of the stairs waiting for people to come down the stairs before ascending myself.
I eventually left the party and managed to get home at 3am ish, knew i wasnt going to sleep so chatted to a friend online for a couple of hours, I didnt realise at the time but i was typing like someone who was completely pissed, looking at the transcript the day after barely any of what i said made sense, also during this time sat in my bedroom, which was silent, i kept thinking i was still at the party and hearing the sound and voices that were there, i kept hearing he voice of the 'friend' who also rolled and thought she was talking to me, and on more than one occasion replied to her to then realise i was just in my bedroom alone and no-one was there, i eventually tried to sleep at half 5 gurning had largely subsided by now. I lay back in my bed looking up at the dark ceiling and after a while noticed glints of something on my ceiling which then turned into spiders descending from my ceiling and landing on my bedside table, emotional numbness also showing itself as i was able to turn my bedside light on and banish these hallucinations [im actually pretty scared of spiders] then when sat up in bed i notice my arm right had become pixelated, then pixels then changed into black opaque glass blocks [i was still able to move my hand perfectly normally and the image of my arm was consistent with the movement], on the faces of these blocks then appeared television static which then changed into a fractal pattern that after a second zoomed in at great speed, for whatever reason this stopped and my arm now looked to be made of brown stone then went back to normal, after this i just went to sleep [about 6am]
I woke up the next day at 10am, feeling kinda tired, no ill mood effects, not feeling depressed or short tempered or angry, couldnt get back to sleep so got up, checked my eyes, and still noticeable pupil dilation 12/13 hours after dose, ate a ham sammich about half 12 then got the bus into town to pick something up, and whilst on the bus what i could see/ hear seemed slightly more vivid than normal, in a pleasant way, got to town and did my shopping, while walking down a busy high street i noticed one particular individual staring at my eyes whilst i was walking past, maybe they were just making eye contact, i dont know, still did shopping ect came home, was going out to town later that night despite the wishes of others in the house, normally i'd have felt a little anxious about saying i was going out again [seeing as it was approaching exam period] yet felt no emotions toward doing this, and this was about 7/8pm the next day. Got to town at 9ish and met up with girlfriend and experienced user, both were still able to notice pupil dilation in me, both had well come down by now and the last of my dilation went by the time we finished at the clubs at 3am.
My second experience was a couple of months later, me, girlfriend, experienced user and another friend, shall we call them friend no.2. Me and girlfriend had eaten a normal sized plate of spaghetti each about 3 hours Dose, and all had been to a bar before and had a couple of cocktails. Dose was about 110mg each, maybe slightly more, all took at half 10ish, all went into a club, all 3 others came up properly, friend no.2 however losing his buzz after a while, girlfriend threw up during come up but was fine after, this dose for those who came up however seemed to come in waves as opposed to the continuity of what was consumed on the prior occasion, I however never came up, i noticed an ever so slight mood lift and like everyone else pupil dilation and gurning, i didnt notice the wave effect, i didnt really feel much different at all, i was a little hungover and in a mediocre mood to begin with so i went from feeling meh to more like just nothing, very neutral but not feeling bad, and that was about it for me, girlfriend seemed to experience euphoria waves until say half 2ish possibly sooner, residual good mood remained, until we got home and got to bed at 5am-ish, girlfriend had stopped gurning, i still was a little, i was noticably still kinda chatty at this point while girlfriend had come right down and was getting a bit angsty. Both of us felt very tired the day after - normal really, the dose this second time was thought to be really not very good quality but i assume there was something MDxx alike in there due to the effects observed in others.
My question really is, well, what the hell does anyone make of this, have i just plain OD'd, neurotoxicity, serotonin syndrome, is it worth me trying this drug again in the near future, do i just have shit luck? Has my tolerance just not dropped? - What i considered unusual was that experienced user was able to drop from 500mg to 100mg after a couple of months and get all the effects, i cant see my tolerance being that much slower to drop especially after only one previous use but, I'm not the knowledgeable one on this?
Thanks for any input anyway!
- Also forgot to say these were both powder cigarette paper bombs
My first experience was at a party with a reasonably large amount of people, pretty much everyone I knew and there was generally a good feel, originally I and my girlfriend were going to do MD with one other experienced user, me and girlfriend on somewhere between 200-250mg [edit- on recommendation from experienced user that this dose was required for it to work...], experienced user on 500mg, however it ended up that a friend of my girlfriend's wanted in so my girlfriend split her dose into roughly 100mg/150mg [ish], the friend consuming the smaller dose. This was believed by the experienced user to be an analogue due to taking up to 2 hours to 'come up', however me, girlfriend and friend consumed ours at about 10pm then went off our own ways [I should've mentioned I'd had no more than a few slices of toast to eat in the past 10 hours that day and drank a couple of beers prior to dosing & weight is roughly 65kg]. Me and girlfriend went outside for a smoke, and about 20 minutes later girlfriend seemed to be coming up feeling tingly in fingers and starting to seem to feel happy, I noticed slight tingling but no more, this soon faded, we went inside into a room of people dancing, girlfriend and friend definitely come up by this time and loving it, I felt a less than second long twinge of euphoria no more, we then about 45 minutes later went with experienced user into another room onto a sofa all cuddling all but me seeming to feel the warmth/ empathy, 5ish minutes later we move to a bathroom and all have notable pupil dilation, proceed downstairs about an hour after dosing, me still feeling no euphoria however acutely aware of heavy heartbeat akin to what mild to moderate exercise would produce. Also some other moving around half hearted dancing going on, the usual for a party.
About an hour to two hours later everyone but me feeling the warmth and euphoria, I however feel 'cold-sweaty' and fast heart beat, we all start to notice the gurning and try avoid it [i dont know about anyone else but i start to notice eye flickering during this period], and at some point in between those two hours, i believe quite near the start I start to feel as if Im very drunk, motor skills/ balance a little off, talking isn't great i guess slightly difficult, i cant exactly remember but i was aware of ruining my girlfriends roll by stating around those also rolling that I wasnt enjoying/ feeling this, I also really really didnt want to move anywhere, tbh wanted to just curl up. During this time is when i noticed a sort of numbing of emotion, i was sat on the floor with girlfriend, experience user was sat on bed playing guitar next to 'friend', and looking at girlfriend she looked like she was in love with the experienced user and at one point kissed in on the cheek as he admitted an attraction to one of my girlfriends, friends, however i was mentally aware of these thing yet emotionally felt nothing, when normally i'd believe i'd feel a little upset, [idk im just an awkward person/boyfriend/ a bit possessive]. At some point after the second hour i went very pale and nauseous, ran upstairs to bathroom and dry heaved once, then sat on the bathtub edge with a bottle of water till i felt better talking to girlfriend who also felt some nausea however hers passed with no heaving, we remained sat around for a while talking to another not rolling friend and being checked up on by experienced user, and made sure to be slowing drinking water. After a while we just went back to trying to have a good time me still not feeling great or in any way euphoric. 'Friend' left at roughly half 12 still pretty fucking wired, experienced user left at 1ish. I'm struggling to remember much of what happened between between one and twoish, i think it was mostly relaxing around in a bedroom with a couple of others until girlfriend had to leave at 2, drunken-ness feeling lasted a couple of hours but had worn off by time girlfriend left [2am] eye flickering and gurning still present, however it seemed i had come down enough to not feel euphoric but to be able to understand the enjoyment others had gotten from cuddling as before girlfriend left i was cuddling with her, while she was coming down back to normality but feeling short tempered, the normal 'come down'. Sometime after girlfriend left i had a hallucination or a group of people coming down the stairs and sitting on a sofa however no-one saying anything, i didnt question this until the day after and took it to be actually happening, i believe at one point i stood at the bottom of the stairs waiting for people to come down the stairs before ascending myself.
I eventually left the party and managed to get home at 3am ish, knew i wasnt going to sleep so chatted to a friend online for a couple of hours, I didnt realise at the time but i was typing like someone who was completely pissed, looking at the transcript the day after barely any of what i said made sense, also during this time sat in my bedroom, which was silent, i kept thinking i was still at the party and hearing the sound and voices that were there, i kept hearing he voice of the 'friend' who also rolled and thought she was talking to me, and on more than one occasion replied to her to then realise i was just in my bedroom alone and no-one was there, i eventually tried to sleep at half 5 gurning had largely subsided by now. I lay back in my bed looking up at the dark ceiling and after a while noticed glints of something on my ceiling which then turned into spiders descending from my ceiling and landing on my bedside table, emotional numbness also showing itself as i was able to turn my bedside light on and banish these hallucinations [im actually pretty scared of spiders] then when sat up in bed i notice my arm right had become pixelated, then pixels then changed into black opaque glass blocks [i was still able to move my hand perfectly normally and the image of my arm was consistent with the movement], on the faces of these blocks then appeared television static which then changed into a fractal pattern that after a second zoomed in at great speed, for whatever reason this stopped and my arm now looked to be made of brown stone then went back to normal, after this i just went to sleep [about 6am]
I woke up the next day at 10am, feeling kinda tired, no ill mood effects, not feeling depressed or short tempered or angry, couldnt get back to sleep so got up, checked my eyes, and still noticeable pupil dilation 12/13 hours after dose, ate a ham sammich about half 12 then got the bus into town to pick something up, and whilst on the bus what i could see/ hear seemed slightly more vivid than normal, in a pleasant way, got to town and did my shopping, while walking down a busy high street i noticed one particular individual staring at my eyes whilst i was walking past, maybe they were just making eye contact, i dont know, still did shopping ect came home, was going out to town later that night despite the wishes of others in the house, normally i'd have felt a little anxious about saying i was going out again [seeing as it was approaching exam period] yet felt no emotions toward doing this, and this was about 7/8pm the next day. Got to town at 9ish and met up with girlfriend and experienced user, both were still able to notice pupil dilation in me, both had well come down by now and the last of my dilation went by the time we finished at the clubs at 3am.
My second experience was a couple of months later, me, girlfriend, experienced user and another friend, shall we call them friend no.2. Me and girlfriend had eaten a normal sized plate of spaghetti each about 3 hours Dose, and all had been to a bar before and had a couple of cocktails. Dose was about 110mg each, maybe slightly more, all took at half 10ish, all went into a club, all 3 others came up properly, friend no.2 however losing his buzz after a while, girlfriend threw up during come up but was fine after, this dose for those who came up however seemed to come in waves as opposed to the continuity of what was consumed on the prior occasion, I however never came up, i noticed an ever so slight mood lift and like everyone else pupil dilation and gurning, i didnt notice the wave effect, i didnt really feel much different at all, i was a little hungover and in a mediocre mood to begin with so i went from feeling meh to more like just nothing, very neutral but not feeling bad, and that was about it for me, girlfriend seemed to experience euphoria waves until say half 2ish possibly sooner, residual good mood remained, until we got home and got to bed at 5am-ish, girlfriend had stopped gurning, i still was a little, i was noticably still kinda chatty at this point while girlfriend had come right down and was getting a bit angsty. Both of us felt very tired the day after - normal really, the dose this second time was thought to be really not very good quality but i assume there was something MDxx alike in there due to the effects observed in others.
My question really is, well, what the hell does anyone make of this, have i just plain OD'd, neurotoxicity, serotonin syndrome, is it worth me trying this drug again in the near future, do i just have shit luck? Has my tolerance just not dropped? - What i considered unusual was that experienced user was able to drop from 500mg to 100mg after a couple of months and get all the effects, i cant see my tolerance being that much slower to drop especially after only one previous use but, I'm not the knowledgeable one on this?
Thanks for any input anyway!
- Also forgot to say these were both powder cigarette paper bombs
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