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please someone help me

W

worried420

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 16, 2014
Messages
4
I am new to this group but have read many forums when I found out my sister was shooting up dilaud and other drugs. The posts were extremely informative. Today I found a rig with liquid inside it as well as a shoe lace under a towel in the bathroom. The only people in my home r myself, my fiance and our 3 year old. I confronted him and he confessed to trying to shoot up but he was not able to properly do it. I told him to show me his arms and I saw 5 or 6 places where he had stuck a needle. I'm trying to figure out if he is telling the truth about not being able to do it. A part of me believes he was unable to do it because the liquid was still in the syringe but a part of me is unsure because of what I've been through with my sister. The pill was morphine. He does take drugs orally and has snorted drugs before but I've never known him to use a needle. How can I keep him from attempting this again? Do you think this was his first try like he said? I have very little knowledge on this subject so please forgive my ignorance I'm just scared. I've seen what happened to my sister and I don't want him to go down this path. Thank u for your help.
 
try google: "substance abuse recovery family help" or something like that. this isn't exactly the right place for what you're looking for, tho someone may try to help you out...
 
worried420 said:
I am new to this group but have read many forums when I found out my sister was shooting up dilaud and other drugs. The posts were extremely informative. Today I found a rig with liquid inside it as well as a shoe lace under a towel in the bathroom. The only people in my home r myself, my fiance and our 3 year old. I confronted him and he confessed to trying to shoot up but he was not able to properly do it. I told him to show me his arms and I saw 5 or 6 places where he had stuck a needle. I'm trying to figure out if he is telling the truth about not being able to do it. A part of me believes he was unable to do it because the liquid was still in the syringe but a part of me is unsure because of what I've been through with my sister. The pill was morphine. He does take drugs orally and has snorted drugs before but I've never known him to use a needle. How can I keep him from attempting this again? Do you think this was his first try like he said? I have very little knowledge on this subject so please forgive my ignorance I'm just scared. I've seen what happened to my sister and I don't want him to go down this path. Thank u for your help.
Click to expand...

This is a very appropriate post for one of the recovery forums. I'll send it over to "Sober Living" right now. Good luck.
 
Hi worried420, I would be worried too and sorry you found out the way you did. The thing with morphine pills is, their bioavailability isn't so great swallowing or snorting, That's why he is trying to inject them. Also it takes a bit of work to convert the pill into a liquid solution for the syringe. So he probably got it ready to use and shortly after you found it.

There is not much you can do to stop him from abusing his medication. He's going to just keep sneaking it like he's been. If it weren't for you finding the rig, you probably would not have noticed the marks on his arms right? I hope he's not re-using the same rigs and uses a sterile technique. Try talking to him when you're not so upset.
 
Thank you for your quick response. You are right about me not noticing his arms until today because I never thought I'd have to worry about this with him because he has been around with my sister's struggles. Yesterday he had locked himself in that bathroom for about an hour and wouldn't open up the door said he was "using the bathroom" after that I've been more vigilant and did not notice him use that bathroom today. I don't know how to handle this at all. The little I do know about the subject he didn't seem to have the same "equipment" like what I found when I caught my sister. She had a cut cigarette filter and she would nod out. Is it really believable that he was unable todo it because he didnt know how to find a site?
 
^Hi worried420 like what T.Calderone said, try talking to him when you are not upset. The only thing is, I am unsure how honest he will be with you because you need to know how long he has been doing this. What I would suggest though is to seek some help like what defanged have mentioned on his post. Unless you have spoken to him, these are going to be speculations so you need to find a way to having him speak to you in all honesty.
 
It's likely that your fiancé is better at concealing his preparation than your sister. Look at it like this, the cat's out of the bag now. Whether or not he actually registered into a vein is not as important as the fact that he is abusing these drugs. That's why I was concerned if he's doing this in a clean fashion.

See about talking with him without distractions. Maybe someone can watch the baby. But it's important that he knows that you still love him and will stick with him through this. You don't have to condone it no, but you can ask him to get help. Hope you can work this out.
 
I want to thank all of you for your helpful advice. I hope everything works out. I'm just tired of the lying and stealing. I knew he was struggling with snorting oxycodone, he started using that after lortabs. I just never thought he'd do this after seeing my sister OD and she is now incarcerated. I love him very much and just want the best for him. I just tried to talk to him again and I asked him why as well. He is sticking with this was his first attempt but he was unsuccessful at finding a site and he said he just wanted to see what the big deal was with doing it (understand why people get addicted). I feel like it's dejavu again but instead of trying to save my sister I'm trying to save him. All the while trying to raise a baby and graduate college in December. Could anyone tell by looking at his arms if I take a picture n post it?
 
you have to take action now if you have a kid w this guy.
the baby comes first.

if he's snorting OC's and shooting dilaudid,you can't have that around a baby.
it's not healthy.

I personally wouldn't believe a word he says.
he's an opiate addict.we'll say whatever to get out of trouble and we're sneaky.

please take care of yourself now.
this world of opiates leads down,down,down….
for everyone involved.
addiction is a family disease.

you can't save him either.he needs to want to b clean.
since there's baby involved i would,sorry,suggest leaving for a while.
or even better,get him to rehab now.
support him but don't sacrifice yourself.

again,I'm so sorry,addiction can happen to whoever,it's nobodies fault.

wishing you serenity,peace and love and try to relax.
 
Thanks SB:)


Hey worried and welcome to Bluelight=D. I think one of the most important things to promote and develop here is a clear line of communication. This is really important as it keeps you in the loop. Some of the things that seem to help this are trying to keep all judgment out of this. Although it may be hard it is important not to let the emotions you are likely feeling get so strong they explode and push.

Although the use of IV route of administration is stereotyped, for the obvious reasons of possibility of OD, rate at which an addiction progresses, it is not a bench marl of addiction. That being said it says to me that your fiance is likely well into addiction already.

If you can just sit down and in a caring, loving, and non judgmental manor... and just talk with your fiance and ask him to please let you into this part of his life. If you are able to do do this and begin to help him address this in the correct manor I think he should be able to transition well into recovery. Please remember that the struggle to live in recovery will be his.. but that support is a huge part of the process.

If he claims to you that he will never use again.. please just understand that he means this with all his heart.. but also please do not take it personally or as a sign of no hope if he stubles and uses again. Getting and staying in recovery is a process and some people make it right of the bat, but for most people its a learning process that involves relapses.

It is quite common for addcits/users to with all thier hearts tell the people they love that they will never do it again. Problem is that we have to learn and implimant the tools to make this possible as will power is weak and trying with just willpower usually makes the affected person miserable and wares them down until they use. The user will they feal great guilt and shame and will hide it from the people they love and have promised to.

If you get the "this is the last time I will never ever do it again" I would look at him lovingly and say I love you and I dont need to hear this.. what I want to hear instead is that I will identify and implement an follow a plan for my recovery. I will begin to do everything I can to live a peaceful life with out the drugs I am addicted to. If I am driven to use I will let you know and will pick myself up and duct myself off and make the needed changes to my recovery plan to address the situation that drive me to use. But above all I will do my very best to never use again.

This thread contains some examples of people who have been able to open up good lines of communication. It also has links for support groups for people who love addicts.

Support For Those Affected by the Addiction of Others

Do you know if he is physically dependent on the opiates? It is important to destiguish between phsical dependence and addiction. They arent the same thing. Here is a good thread that has some good information on addiction and phsical dependence.

Addiction Guide

Addcition come fron the subcosciouse.. its important for bot the addict and the person who loves them to understand this. This is why people arent just able to say they are done and wont ever do it again. Its important for the addict to realize as it helps with all the guilt and shame when they realize they arent weak or broken. It also is good to know whats going on as it can be really frustaiting and confusing if we dont.

The Brain and Addiction (under construction)

Here are some other links on ways people have had sucsess in combating addiction.




Hang in there and consider checking out a source of support for yourself. Your fiance can figure this out, I know if I can do it anyone can:)

PS. I would also tell him that if ever leaves a rig in a place that endangers the people he loves again.. you will chop his balls off;)

But seriously hang in there.. become part of his team but realize that its his fight and you cant fight it for him. <3
 
My advice right now is for you to get support for yourself. You cannot save him from anything. You have control of your life, though. Al-anon helped me. It helps to sit in a room with others that understand what you are going through. Figuring out the fine line between enabling someone and supporting them is very subjective and that is why you need a safe place to talk about it. TheDawn is right about your little one though. If your partner is abusing drugs, needle or not, this is going to be a very stressful environment for your child. Trust is essential in any partnership but especially important between parents. Use this opportunity to confront your partner and urge him to get help.
 
You guys have no idea how much help and support you've shown me.....I don't feel so alone anymore. I had to eventually cut my sister off for awhile because it was taking a toll on me. I realized no matter what I did/said she wasn't going to listen. I found myself wondering if it was because I moved away to college (that's what she told me...I left her so that's why she started).I've tried talking to him calmly but he's not budging on his story and tells me that's my problem I can't trust him so he might as well try it again. I know addiction is extremely hard and can cause embarrassment (i told him there was nothing to be ashamed about in that regards). What I have issues with is number one my baby could have found that or worse, when needles r used it greatly increases the risk of diseases (so I feel like he put me at risk). I want to trust him but trust is earned. I'm going to check out those links thank u! I wouldn't say he's physically addicted more mentally. I watched my sister withdrawal n it wasn't pretty. He can go without but gets aggitated and is unable to handle life stresses (its sort of like a trigger for him). I've got to focus on making the healthiest environment for my baby and start realizing I can't control other people's actions. I'm taking all of yalls advice and implementing it into this horrible situation. Again thank u ALL, u rtruly a blessing.
 
It's been mentioned before, but just to reiterate, what he needs is your support and love- now especially more than ever. We don't know what's triggering him to use. Loneliness? Depression? That's why most start using... Or why most continue to use, because it masks the pain. That's why you want to make sure you're there for him. Try not to play the role as the victim. Sure it hurts to see someone you love use drugs/battle with addiction, but this is about their own personal demons. Love, support, and understanding is what your fiancé needs now more than ever.
 
yeah,it's good we have this site.
maybe a therapist would b an idea.
but please,your child is innocent and your man is shooting opiates in the bathroom…..
it has to stop.i don't know how i would approach it though.

keep posting your thoughts and whatever and we'll pray for you and your man.
 
I was gna suggest you take this to recovery then I noticed it's been moved.
Worried, sorry I can't really help you with this but looks like you have a lot of posts (haven't read any of them yet, sorry).
Would like to say welcome to Bluelight and hope that you are able to find the answers you are looking for to help your fiancé.
I say this with the best of intentions - please try to look after you also. Dealing with a family or friend's addictions can be difficult and it's easy to neglect yourself so please take care of you.
Evey xxxx
 
you in your original post made one of the mistakes most family members make about another family member's drug use, which is that you automatically compared it to someone else's drug problems, here, your sister's...do not be confrontational, be sympathetic...but keep a watch out and don't be naive...life's a balancing act after all...

since you have a kid though I will say just be extra careful...every kid is better off having their biological father in their lives...
 
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