Please help this stumbling block

[sonicwhite]

I?m doing it again. I?m overdosing in the gaba.

I don?t know why I can?t let this demon go. I was going so good weaning and today it felt like bricks where on my shoulders.

So I did more gabapentin and it helped but I have this emptiness inside me.

I want to be more then this. I?m a born again Christian who already has victory.
Why?

 

[Jabberwocky]

Is there anyone IRL you have who you could talk to about this?

Please tell me more about that emptiness inside you.

 

[sonicwhite]

Well I?m more then this. I?ve done it before. I was drug free for two years. Then I went to a psych doc cuz of voices. From there I found out by accident you could get High off of gabapentin.

Today I?m called to preachbut, I can?t while I?m held down by this.

That?s the emptiness I feel inside. I?m better then this.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Did you ever receive any mental health diagnosis? Particularly like BPD, schizophrenia/schizoaffective, or a bipolar "disorder"?

I ask because with the appropriate support I have seen more than a few people with said conditions lead fulfilling, constructive lives. It's just a matter of securing the support one needs.

Trust and believe: even if we aren't necessarily all aware of it all the time, we all need to depend on others.

 

[sonicwhite]

MDD. W psychosis. OCD. PTSD. Insomnia. Panic disorder. GAD.

But, I?ll if I really have any of this.

I?m more concerned about my health and I?m killing myself slowly by overdoing the gabapentin

 

[SoCal424]

Hi sonicwhite-

Have you thought about in-patient help for your addiction? Maybe if you could break free of using for a month while getting help in-patient, it would be long enough for your willpower to keep you clean? I hope you beat this. Your whole life is ahead of you, and what you did yesterday doesn't have to be in your tomorrows. We all need help at one point or another my friend. I wish you success with getting free of this drug. Be kind to yourself - nobody deserves it more than you .

An April Fools Prank: Get a clear plastic wrapper – the sticky kind for food. Lift the toilet seat and cover the toilet bowl with it – you must do it very smoothly so there are no creases to warn the next user. Enjoy the screams, then look forward to going to hell one day."

Dale

ps: I hope the april fools prank doesn't offend anyone - I wouldn't actually do it, but it was funny.

 

[sonicwhite]

Lol, April fools is my birthday!

 

[Jabberwocky]

MDD. W psychosis. OCD. PTSD. Insomnia. Panic disorder. GAD.

But, I?ll if I really have any of this.

I?m more concerned about my health and I?m killing myself slowly by overdoing the gabapentin

Hi sonicwhite-

Have you thought about in-patient help for your addiction? Maybe if you could break free of using for a month while getting help in-patient, it would be long enough for your willpower to keep you clean? I hope you beat this. Your whole life is ahead of you, and what you did yesterday doesn't have to be in your tomorrows. We all need help at one point or another my friend. I wish you success with getting free of this drug. Be kind to yourself - nobody deserves it more than you .

An April Fools Prank: Get a clear plastic wrapper – the sticky kind for food. Lift the toilet seat and cover the toilet bowl with it – you must do it very smoothly so there are no creases to warn the next user. Enjoy the screams, then look forward to going to hell one day."

Dale

ps: I hope the april fools prank doesn't offend anyone - I wouldn't actually do it, but it was funny.

If you have the option, treatment definitely sounds like a good idea. Could you find some place that could do a full assessment on you, to get your mental health diagnosis down pat? It would probably take 30-90 days, but there are lots of good places for that out there.

Sometimes they're a bit tough to find, but they're there. Especially if it's only gabapentin, they should be able to help you find either an alternative treatment in terms of medicine or lifestyle stuff.

And if you don't want to go inpatient for that long, you could probably go on an outpatient basis. Depends on your history of course, but there is always a way.

Even if it's not self evident at first, with trying, picking yourself up when you fall down and just ruthlessly keep trying, a form of practice in itself, the whole thing will become clear sooner than you might imagine.