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Please Critique: Haiku; Dreams

well.... i'm going to be completely honest here.... and i'm probably an idiot... but i just dont get the "dust" part.
 
.. please explain the 'dust'. i think i understand what you're trying to say.. but..

i have no clue why u chose dust.
 
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i like it first thing that image that poped into my head was a deep underwater sea scence (abyss) and florecent smart thinking gelatin things

ABYSS
 
<3

I understand the sentiment..but it doesn't seem to flow the best.
Perhaps look at changing a few key terms.
In haiku I find a great deal of meaning needs to be portrayed by few words, so you really need to choose them carefully.
 
The sentiment is an intentionally depressing one. The sky is beyond our reach, and the sea's deepest reaches are unattainable. Much like one's dreams.

Dust was used to represent the death of dreams. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, that whole bit. :-)

Child, thanks for the critique. I have to admit, however, that I'm curious. I can't really think of many terms that would give the meaning I'm going for as well as I did. Any suggestions?
 
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