ChemicallyEnhanced
Bluelighter
My addiction story is almost identical to that of Sara Goldfarb (Requiem for a Dream). I recovered from bulimia but I only stopped the purging part and I was around BMI 29 and desperate to control my appetite so I went to my addict brothers (very, very shady) doctor and he prescribed me 100mg amphetamine sulphate pills to take three times a day. The only downside was anxiety and insomnia so he also prescribed me 1mg of Xanax three times a day and 180mg of Phenobarbital at night to sleep.
Fast forward 4 months. I am badly addicted. I am now taking over a gram of pure amphetamine sulphate and up to 8mg Xanax and 360mg Phenobarbital (all on prescription). I wonder the streets of my city 12 hours a day hallucinating and the other 12 sedated out of my mind. My BMI is less than 15.
I eventually am sectioned, cold turkey'd from amphetamine and detoxed from benodiazepines and barbiturates.
I am now over 3 years sober and out of nowhere I am having the most intense cravings I have had in my life. Particularly the Xanax. It ids all I have been able to think about for weeks and is getting more and more intense to where today it is unbareable. Literally every fiber of my being is screaming at me to go buy some Xanax. The cravings are making me very anxious which just intensifies to need.
Please convince me not to do it, I am at my wits end
.
Fast forward 4 months. I am badly addicted. I am now taking over a gram of pure amphetamine sulphate and up to 8mg Xanax and 360mg Phenobarbital (all on prescription). I wonder the streets of my city 12 hours a day hallucinating and the other 12 sedated out of my mind. My BMI is less than 15.
I eventually am sectioned, cold turkey'd from amphetamine and detoxed from benodiazepines and barbiturates.
I am now over 3 years sober and out of nowhere I am having the most intense cravings I have had in my life. Particularly the Xanax. It ids all I have been able to think about for weeks and is getting more and more intense to where today it is unbareable. Literally every fiber of my being is screaming at me to go buy some Xanax. The cravings are making me very anxious which just intensifies to need.
Please convince me not to do it, I am at my wits end
