Opioids Planning my withdrawal and (hopefully) kicking the habit

[thePodFreak]

Phactor - Thanks for the encouragement, I'm already dreading the withdrawals, but I think I am in the right place to make this work. I start tomorrow, which is the day before she leaves. I should be in the full death spiral by the time she leaves for the airport. Thank god she is leaving in the morning. I have felt like shit for a while for getting myself in to this, and my wife is already stressed out with school - I feel like this is something I have to deal with by myself because she doesn't deserve to have to deal with my idiotic decisions.

 

[thePodFreak]

ArtVandalay - Well, I guess it's good to know im not the only person to get in to the same situation. Are you still off now? I know staying off is probably going to be the hardest part of this whole ordeal..Honestly I feel like I can deal with the physical portion although it will be hell. Keeping myself busy afterwards is going to be the real important thing I think.

 

[thePodFreak]

Megalum: Honestly I'm not sure - since this is honestly my first and only foray in to opiates for the most part, it's hard to say. Strangely enough I have remained at around the same dose for the last 3 years to get a buzz, and honestly only in the last month and a half had that dose start to jump up. Was always 3 mammoths for a solid buzz, now it's 4. I don't know if that gives a decent idea to the potency, but yeah.

Honestly, I'm just assuming they are highly potent to assume a worst case scenario tho lol

 

[cook]

On that note...an idea which I dont know has merit, but thought I would run it by you guys. I was thinking of trying to FAST taper off of pods, and as my pod dose decreases, increase lope dose. The idea is to get my pod dose down as low as possible until its 0, then taper off of the much cheaper loperamide. Is this something anyone has ever tried, or is this basically a ridiculous "broscience" idea? Just a random thought I had.

People do this a lot but it is quite personal how the lope works for you. I have to take 24 mgs at once to get any relief (even in mild pod wd's). Try it out, if the loperamide holds you at decent dose (less than ~60 mgs) you could taper that instead of suboxone. Just remember not to stay on the lope for a longer time, because it's own withdrawals are very real and might resemble fentanyl for that matter. It's basically same thing, except suboxone costs you a whole lotta more.

 

[thePodFreak]

Cook - thanks for the reply. Personally, I have used lope (about 20mg) to ease myself of symptoms back when this habit was a stupid little side note in life. I would go on a binge of like 4 days or something, catch myself, then withdrawal for like 3 days and be free. The w/d's were butter compared to what im about to go through though. But, as we all know addiction is a tricky little fucker - 4 days and then work picks up, "shit I can't w/d right now I have so much work to do!", turns in to or 6 days, fear of withdrawals made me want to taper down, instead of tapering though you know what happens.

Anyway I think I'll give it a try...I have been researching suboxone, and will probably go that route, but no reason not to at least try without, regardless of the misery.


Also, following the example of another thread I saw a while ago, I am going to grind everything up, mix it together, and pre-bag it in to gradually decreasing amounts. It's obviously up to me to monitor this and not cheat.. Good luck to me, right?

 

[cook]

Yeah, I guess that is notorius that self-tapers with agonist tend to fall apart at some point. I have tapered down to ridicolous doses only to fuck everything up in the end always. I had to force myself to quit with naltrexone which was succesfull eventually.

Now i'm free of them again, and I can tell you that it is worth it in the end. Life on opiates is a misery..

 

[Permanent Jones]

So true. Remember though, sometimes things happen and there may not be time or opportunity for a taper. My mother got arrested and detoxed in jail, I got hospitalized for seizures and had no time for easing off of anything either. Life happens. So try not to pass up this opportunity to step down gradually.

 

[thePodFreak]

Well guys, here's the deal. I have decided to go with a Suboxone taper. I feel like, realistically, it is the best way for me to be able to taper off and succeed. I appreciate everyone's advice - and if anyone wants to advise me against or for this, please let me know your experiences. The reason I decided to go with this is that I want to be able to taper off on a schedule, and since I can't talk to my family about it, talking to a doctor I feel will be a liberating experience - someone, ANYONE will finally know. I figure with suboxone, it is easy to take with me, it is covered under my insurance (so it only costs me 40 bucks for a month supply), and I feel that if I use it responsibly and taper of the suboxone on a strict schedule, I will be successful.

My appointment is on the 30th, and I am incredibly excited and optimistic to say the least. I am going to spend the next 15 days tapering down as far as I can without becoming useless, to get my dosage as low as possible before getting on subs. I don't mind some mild w/d's, as long as i'm still relatively functional (and since I have gone through the milds before, I know I usually am).

One question however - when one takes the suboxone, it completely replaces the opiate you were taking, correct? Like there may be withdrawals, but the goal is to essentially CT off of the pod tea and continue on subs, and then slowly taper off of those. Is that correct? I have already scared the FUCK out of myself with reading how insanely difficult it is to get off subs if one has a major addiction to them, so I absolutely do NOT want to end up in that boat.

Lastly, I am going to put together a new plan, based around the sub, with room for improvisation once I get recommendations from my doc. I can't tell you guys how excited I am to see a potential light at the end of the tunnel, a way for me to finally put this beast to bed. I'll post my sub plan and whatnot in a new thread to chronicle this ugly little journey for others to see. I know I am still in for a withdrawal from subs, but I feel the taper will be a much more controlled process if I go this route.

I want to thank all of you who responded to this thread. I know I am still no where near the end of the tunnel, but there is one thing this time that I have not had any other time - confidence that this can be done. Reading your responses shows me im not in this alone, and that I am one person in a sea of individuals, both in better and worse situations than I am in.

 

[bfisher]

even with short lasting opiates (heroin) the physical symptoms can last up to 10+days before it gets any better. With longer lasting opiates (methadone, oxycodone, suboxone) it takes much longer. good luck

 

[thePodFreak]

Well, I am through the physical part and with the help of some benzos and herbs, I'm feeling good. Picking up some green tomorrow to help with anxiety, if I can use that instead of a clonazepam to calm my nerves, I think I can kill my cravings and not get addicted to benzos which would suck hard. Also have no refills on my klonopin so I should be safe.

I ALMOST went on subs, but was so terrified of p/w, I never took it lol. The descriptions people gave of it made me terrified and finally I told myself I'm not going to take it since I'm 72 hours in. I got luckily that withdrawals subsided, and I waited, successfully - which was NOT easy.

Anyway, going strong, hoping to finally get a night (or even 2 or 3 hours) of sleep so I can live tomorrow without looking like death. The clonazepam has been a lifesaver for my late wd symptoms, I could barely sit still let alone focus at work - and this is at recommended dosages.

Here's giving hope to anyone going through it right now - you guys can do it.

 

[thePodFreak]

Figured I would keep a log here of how I feel, so dont mind me. Yesterday I did something I never thought I would - I went christmas shopping (sober aside from a single clonozepam....sober?...I guess. lol) and spent EVERY CENT of my pods money on christmas presents. They are wrapped and ready to go, and it felt amazing. I still have some issues with anxiety right now (i.e. the clonozepam my doc perscribed me), but aside from that my cravings since this morning have been small enough that I just tell them to go fuck themselves. Also still have on and off chills, lost about 12 pounds through the process so im cold alot as well. No sweats or digestive issues.

If you asked me a day ago if I would make it, I absolutely would have told you to go fuck yourself. luckily things just keep getting better and I hope they stay that way. My advice is to stay AS BUSY AS POSSIBLE. Yesterday, even tho I felt like shit, I shopped, strung up christmas lights, and did some yard work. it wore me out, and with the help im sure of the clonozepam I got my first decent night's sleep in days. about 2 4 hour intervals. For my mood, im taking 5-HTP which seems to do wonders, and a little St John's wort as well. lastly and probably most importantly, im going to maintain on the benzo and clonodine the rest of this week, then taper off the clonazepam.

Anyway, I'll keep a chronicle of my adventures from here out in this thread I guess, including any retarded relapses I might have down the line. regardless, I NEVER want to go through that w/d process again, especially knowing I got off easy due to my small habit. Thanks everyone!