B1tO'RoughJack
Bluelighter
OK first off hey people 
THis is not about "my friend" SWIM, this is actually about my friend "C".
He has been drinking heavily from the age of 10/11, as his childhood was very violent, both towards him from both parents, and watching the violence between his parents.
He is a mama's boy, and his father is dead as of about 10 years ago or so.
He wakes up and drinks.
He has been to rehab a few times, he wakes up, pukes, drinks a can, then if he isn't working, will steadily drink all day until sleep. He plans he has sufficient drink - always thinking about the next can if he is not flush(temp wealthy).
If he has an argument with someone, usually his boy's mother, he will (unless guided by the right people) usually buy a bottle of vodka alongside his usual 8 or so daily cans of scrumpy jack, and binge binge binge for a day or 2.
His spending is impulsive as you can imagine due to his emotional state bouncing up and down constantly.
He used to smoke crack, and sniff white, but due to various influences this is now a thing of seldom occasion.
His main problem is his violent temper, and his masochistic drinking.
His masochism is so deep, due to his childhood traumas, that even though he has been speculatively given 2 months to live if he continues to drink, he continues to drink, but a BIT slower, he seems to be generally more rational and in higher spirits, but still not good at all...evidently.
Now I have offered my help several times - usually the answer is the same " I don't need ya help bruv, I can sort my own shit out", but one occasion about 2 months ago when I offered an iboga session circle, with possibly ayahuasca and iboga circles to follow once a month if needed or whatever, he broke down, confessed how much pain he is in, where, and that he has given up.
However, when I pressed it a little, and told him I don't want to go round visit his baby mama and boy, stepping in the door and knowing he can never do that again, coz he's dead - well, he agreed to try it...
I see his problem as he won't take anyone's help, coz he has pretty much given up - but I see him accepting help in other aspects of life all the time, so I am determined to do this - I have spoken to a few trusted people, people he named he'd feel comfortable with as his sitters and minders, through the experience, and so I determined to do this, my part as brother, brother's keeper, and community druid/shaman/medicine man.
I have found a source, and making the arrangements for after the christmas/new year period, and just going to make sure I see him fairly often over the period, to stop any binges happening so he doesn't kill himself before "therapy time". This time will follow the iboga session(s).
I came to terms with the fact he might actually die an evening in bed last week just before I went to sleep - I have visions, like flashes of potential future, that have become more and more frequent as I've matured, and become more cosmically aware - I grieved for him before sleep whilst rejoicing his return to real, unburdened life.
2 very clear visions I had that night - one us arms around each others shoulders like brothers, smiling and laughing, and being dogs together, both evidently happy and healthy and wealthy; and a second vision of me turning up at his funeral, huggin his baby mama, with a fresh tattoo tear on my face, black armband, wearing a suit, and fucking torn up inside.
They are both clear visions - I know it is now 50/50 which is going to occur because of the next month's occurrences.
I guess I'm writing here for support, how I don't know - but I just felt that night like I needed to post here.
I need to put it out there...maybe for suggestions, guidance from people who have dealt with the same thing the same way I am intending, or simply to make my intentions very clear to the universe.
Time will tell, insha'allah.
THis is not about "my friend" SWIM, this is actually about my friend "C".
He has been drinking heavily from the age of 10/11, as his childhood was very violent, both towards him from both parents, and watching the violence between his parents.
He is a mama's boy, and his father is dead as of about 10 years ago or so.
He wakes up and drinks.
He has been to rehab a few times, he wakes up, pukes, drinks a can, then if he isn't working, will steadily drink all day until sleep. He plans he has sufficient drink - always thinking about the next can if he is not flush(temp wealthy).
If he has an argument with someone, usually his boy's mother, he will (unless guided by the right people) usually buy a bottle of vodka alongside his usual 8 or so daily cans of scrumpy jack, and binge binge binge for a day or 2.
His spending is impulsive as you can imagine due to his emotional state bouncing up and down constantly.
He used to smoke crack, and sniff white, but due to various influences this is now a thing of seldom occasion.
His main problem is his violent temper, and his masochistic drinking.
His masochism is so deep, due to his childhood traumas, that even though he has been speculatively given 2 months to live if he continues to drink, he continues to drink, but a BIT slower, he seems to be generally more rational and in higher spirits, but still not good at all...evidently.
Now I have offered my help several times - usually the answer is the same " I don't need ya help bruv, I can sort my own shit out", but one occasion about 2 months ago when I offered an iboga session circle, with possibly ayahuasca and iboga circles to follow once a month if needed or whatever, he broke down, confessed how much pain he is in, where, and that he has given up.
However, when I pressed it a little, and told him I don't want to go round visit his baby mama and boy, stepping in the door and knowing he can never do that again, coz he's dead - well, he agreed to try it...
I see his problem as he won't take anyone's help, coz he has pretty much given up - but I see him accepting help in other aspects of life all the time, so I am determined to do this - I have spoken to a few trusted people, people he named he'd feel comfortable with as his sitters and minders, through the experience, and so I determined to do this, my part as brother, brother's keeper, and community druid/shaman/medicine man.
I have found a source, and making the arrangements for after the christmas/new year period, and just going to make sure I see him fairly often over the period, to stop any binges happening so he doesn't kill himself before "therapy time". This time will follow the iboga session(s).
I came to terms with the fact he might actually die an evening in bed last week just before I went to sleep - I have visions, like flashes of potential future, that have become more and more frequent as I've matured, and become more cosmically aware - I grieved for him before sleep whilst rejoicing his return to real, unburdened life.
2 very clear visions I had that night - one us arms around each others shoulders like brothers, smiling and laughing, and being dogs together, both evidently happy and healthy and wealthy; and a second vision of me turning up at his funeral, huggin his baby mama, with a fresh tattoo tear on my face, black armband, wearing a suit, and fucking torn up inside.
They are both clear visions - I know it is now 50/50 which is going to occur because of the next month's occurrences.
I guess I'm writing here for support, how I don't know - but I just felt that night like I needed to post here.
I need to put it out there...maybe for suggestions, guidance from people who have dealt with the same thing the same way I am intending, or simply to make my intentions very clear to the universe.
Time will tell, insha'allah.
