So I've been with my girl about 2.5 years. I'm 24 she 21. She is attracted to both men and women but has never done more than kiss a girl. Recently she brought up the idea of us having a MFF relationship (committed, not open) and it took me a while, but now I like the idea a lot. Anyway so we've been looking on dating sites and occasionally going to "gay" clubs to find more open minded people.
Anyway so here's the problem. She looks at women with a gleam in her eye, jaw dropped and all. She has never once looked at me like that. Now to be blunt here's why it really gets to me: she is very attractive to me, but I'd say most guys would rate her maybe 4-5/10, she's a little chubby, which I like. I've spent years in the gym and have a very aesthetic, toned body, and my face is definitely not the problem. I get stares in public quite often, especially in the gay clubs and such. A few times girls that look like her (maybe not the most conventionally attractive, chubby) have said very clearly they would do just about anything to be with me, get nervous approaching me, etc. Not that I want to leave her, it just shows me it's not all in my head.
It's not as if she was all excited at the beginning and now the spark has died. No. It just hit me all at once that I don't think she's ever been truly physically attracted. We have sex pretty often but I now wonder if I am just filling a hole ... so to speak... and I am just convenient. I get horny looking at her all the time and tell her this. Her version is more like I'll be in the other room, she comes in, "sex?" Etc
Idk I just feel like someone out there would appreciate the shit out of the way I look and how much work I put into being healthy and having a decent body. She's also one of those girls where the nicer you are and the more attention you give, the less value you have. Friends/girls that treat her shitty are the ones she just can't stop talking about, thinking about.
And I'm sure this all comes off very cocky and misogynistic... idk a lot just hit me at once. It sucks. I've never had great self esteem, but developing my body gave me confidence again, made me feel like a man. And in a moment, that feeling disappeared. Who cares if random girls drool over me if the one I want the most doesn't even notice me
The fuck do I do. I just want to be loved and appreciated.
Anyway so here's the problem. She looks at women with a gleam in her eye, jaw dropped and all. She has never once looked at me like that. Now to be blunt here's why it really gets to me: she is very attractive to me, but I'd say most guys would rate her maybe 4-5/10, she's a little chubby, which I like. I've spent years in the gym and have a very aesthetic, toned body, and my face is definitely not the problem. I get stares in public quite often, especially in the gay clubs and such. A few times girls that look like her (maybe not the most conventionally attractive, chubby) have said very clearly they would do just about anything to be with me, get nervous approaching me, etc. Not that I want to leave her, it just shows me it's not all in my head.
It's not as if she was all excited at the beginning and now the spark has died. No. It just hit me all at once that I don't think she's ever been truly physically attracted. We have sex pretty often but I now wonder if I am just filling a hole ... so to speak... and I am just convenient. I get horny looking at her all the time and tell her this. Her version is more like I'll be in the other room, she comes in, "sex?" Etc
Idk I just feel like someone out there would appreciate the shit out of the way I look and how much work I put into being healthy and having a decent body. She's also one of those girls where the nicer you are and the more attention you give, the less value you have. Friends/girls that treat her shitty are the ones she just can't stop talking about, thinking about.
And I'm sure this all comes off very cocky and misogynistic... idk a lot just hit me at once. It sucks. I've never had great self esteem, but developing my body gave me confidence again, made me feel like a man. And in a moment, that feeling disappeared. Who cares if random girls drool over me if the one I want the most doesn't even notice me
The fuck do I do. I just want to be loved and appreciated.
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