SuperPsych
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2012
- Messages
- 771
I'm starting to Like FXE more and more every time that I try it. This is a pretty quality dissociative. It's clear headed but can provide some serious introspection at higher doses. Seems to work acutely for depression just as well as ketamine for me as well. I've had a love affair with 3-CL-PCP since the first time that I tried it. It is all around a fantastic drug.
Tonight was the first time I tested FXE out in a serious combo. Today I took 1000mg of Phenibut, 80mg of 3-CL-PCP along with the 4mg of Buprenorphine that i take every morning after 4 hours of very broken sleep, and went to a family fun center with a group of friends for a birthday. This is a place that has Go Karts, Arcade Games, Bowling, etc. Had a fun time, although it was really hot out (around 98°f). I took a 25mg booster of 3-CL-PCP while I was there and had an unmeasured bump of FXE, but I'd guess it was around 20-25mg so on the lighter side. We spent most of the day on the go karts but would step into the arcade to cool down.
Came back home with my roommate and waited for our other friends to arrive, so naturally to fill in the gaps of anticipation and boredom waiting for them to arrive, I did some more FXE, again, not weighing it out but going by feel. I also took another 10mg of 3cl-pcp and less than 5mg of 4-me-tmp (a NDRI ritalin-like stimulant). I was insanely tired but desperately wanting to be able to be alert for when my friends arrived, so I took those in a desperate attempt at staying up, since those where the 2 most stimulating things I had.. Not the smartest choice but I'm not one known for wise decisions.
By the time people arrived, I probably worked myself up towards 50-60mg of FXE while still riding the tail end of the bulk of the 3-CL-PCP.
There were more people than I had expected. Not enough seats to go around, and it was very hot downstairs because we only had fans. They threw on some action movie and we passed around a joint. I don't smoke weed as much as I used to, and when I do, I'm very particular about what I do smoke. I am very careful to keep at least a 2:1 CBD:THC ratio. I prefer a 10:1 ratio but 2:1 is as wild as I'll get. This was some random preroll joint from the dispensary, and I'm pretty sure it was a sativa. So most likely around 14% THC and 0.03 CBD. These days that sort of weed will mess me up. I'm too prone to anxiety these days. Anyways, after 2 or 3 puffs, I decided I must head upstairs.
I got up there and took off my clothes and laid under the air conditioner that I had running on full blast. To my surprise, despite having good motor control and feeling like I was handling myself decently overall, once I closed my eyes I found myself in a surprise hole. Feeling the change in gravity as my eyelids sealed shut.
I took advantage of this moment and threw on my Spotify and let it play whatever I had in my queue. The first song that played was the first Joey Bad@$$ song that I heard when I was around 18 or 19 years old. I've been waiting for them to add it to Spotify for forever and I serendipitously came across it when I added his new album to my queue while waiting in line at the family fun center. I really love good hip hop and dissociatives are so effing good for it. I had such pure joy and appreciation for the wordplay and how smoothly the words flowed over the samples, how the chords set the mood and how the pacing of the hi hats were tearing my heart apart and I was in heaven. I have always loved music so fucking much. It's Always been so important to me. I used to never go a day without it but lately I haven't been listening at all. I also used to write my own rhymes ever since high-school and I would do it everyday, but I lost that spark when I started experiencing deep bouts of depression. Even in that depression, music would bring me some joy, but not any more as of late. I attribute this to the fact that I've been on Suboxone treatment for a year. Music just doesn't do it for me. Nothing does it for me. Most things are as dull as can be since I've gotten on suboxone. For this reason I have slowly been tapering. I am still on 8mg a day, but I feel the music a bit more than I did when I was on 16mg. And this is the first time in a REALLY long time that I felt music like THIS. It was a profound experience. It was intense, but rather forgiving. I'm glad I had it although I do feel some guilt about missing hanging out with my friends. I feel like I ended up having a better night by myself than I would have otherwise. I think I was in the hole for about 90 minutes just listening to my hip hip playlist and loving every second of it. Once the hole stopped, I sat in front of the A/C and rubbbed lotion on my badly sun burned body, and relief of the lotion and coolness of the A/C brought such primal joy. I munched on some Ice Cream and played a bit of Elden Ring which was a blast, and then tried watching some anime, but couldn't focus on the subtitles, so I threw on some of my favorite American cartoons, but found I still couldn't focus because I was in an intense state of introspection. At this point the introspection got uncomfortable because it was surrounding some trauma that I don't think I'll be getting a resolution to any time soon, so I started to post about my experience on the FXE thread, and well then it turned into more of a TR than a post so I decided to post it here instead.
But yeah, it was a great experience. The hole wasn't very visual but had a strong emotional element, I assume in large part due to the help of the 3-CL-PCP. There was also intense visual distortion going on as I came out of the hole and opened my eyes. I have yet to attempt a hole on FXE alone. Even then, I just happened to stumble upon this hole. Just sheer stupid luck that I decided to mix the 2 and smoke a joint. The experience led me to once again deactivate my Facebook which I use way too much. Social media really is the biggest time waster. My mantra for the experience was "Stop consuming, start creating", as in "Stop just using social media and watching TV. Spend your free time writing or drawing or making music.".
I'll never make progress towards those childhood dreams of making music If I keep only dreaming about it and never practicing it. I'm hoping that this lesson will stick and I'm able to fill up my free time in a way that will be more fulfilling in the end.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_3clpcp
substancecode_achs
substancecode_dissociatives
substancecode_buprenorphine
substancecode_opiates
substancecode_mxe
substancecode_phenibut
substancecode_gabapentinoids
substancecode_gabaergics
substancecode_stimulants
substancecode_4mtmp
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
roacode_oral
roacode_nasal
Tonight was the first time I tested FXE out in a serious combo. Today I took 1000mg of Phenibut, 80mg of 3-CL-PCP along with the 4mg of Buprenorphine that i take every morning after 4 hours of very broken sleep, and went to a family fun center with a group of friends for a birthday. This is a place that has Go Karts, Arcade Games, Bowling, etc. Had a fun time, although it was really hot out (around 98°f). I took a 25mg booster of 3-CL-PCP while I was there and had an unmeasured bump of FXE, but I'd guess it was around 20-25mg so on the lighter side. We spent most of the day on the go karts but would step into the arcade to cool down.
Came back home with my roommate and waited for our other friends to arrive, so naturally to fill in the gaps of anticipation and boredom waiting for them to arrive, I did some more FXE, again, not weighing it out but going by feel. I also took another 10mg of 3cl-pcp and less than 5mg of 4-me-tmp (a NDRI ritalin-like stimulant). I was insanely tired but desperately wanting to be able to be alert for when my friends arrived, so I took those in a desperate attempt at staying up, since those where the 2 most stimulating things I had.. Not the smartest choice but I'm not one known for wise decisions.
By the time people arrived, I probably worked myself up towards 50-60mg of FXE while still riding the tail end of the bulk of the 3-CL-PCP.
There were more people than I had expected. Not enough seats to go around, and it was very hot downstairs because we only had fans. They threw on some action movie and we passed around a joint. I don't smoke weed as much as I used to, and when I do, I'm very particular about what I do smoke. I am very careful to keep at least a 2:1 CBD:THC ratio. I prefer a 10:1 ratio but 2:1 is as wild as I'll get. This was some random preroll joint from the dispensary, and I'm pretty sure it was a sativa. So most likely around 14% THC and 0.03 CBD. These days that sort of weed will mess me up. I'm too prone to anxiety these days. Anyways, after 2 or 3 puffs, I decided I must head upstairs.
I got up there and took off my clothes and laid under the air conditioner that I had running on full blast. To my surprise, despite having good motor control and feeling like I was handling myself decently overall, once I closed my eyes I found myself in a surprise hole. Feeling the change in gravity as my eyelids sealed shut.
I took advantage of this moment and threw on my Spotify and let it play whatever I had in my queue. The first song that played was the first Joey Bad@$$ song that I heard when I was around 18 or 19 years old. I've been waiting for them to add it to Spotify for forever and I serendipitously came across it when I added his new album to my queue while waiting in line at the family fun center. I really love good hip hop and dissociatives are so effing good for it. I had such pure joy and appreciation for the wordplay and how smoothly the words flowed over the samples, how the chords set the mood and how the pacing of the hi hats were tearing my heart apart and I was in heaven. I have always loved music so fucking much. It's Always been so important to me. I used to never go a day without it but lately I haven't been listening at all. I also used to write my own rhymes ever since high-school and I would do it everyday, but I lost that spark when I started experiencing deep bouts of depression. Even in that depression, music would bring me some joy, but not any more as of late. I attribute this to the fact that I've been on Suboxone treatment for a year. Music just doesn't do it for me. Nothing does it for me. Most things are as dull as can be since I've gotten on suboxone. For this reason I have slowly been tapering. I am still on 8mg a day, but I feel the music a bit more than I did when I was on 16mg. And this is the first time in a REALLY long time that I felt music like THIS. It was a profound experience. It was intense, but rather forgiving. I'm glad I had it although I do feel some guilt about missing hanging out with my friends. I feel like I ended up having a better night by myself than I would have otherwise. I think I was in the hole for about 90 minutes just listening to my hip hip playlist and loving every second of it. Once the hole stopped, I sat in front of the A/C and rubbbed lotion on my badly sun burned body, and relief of the lotion and coolness of the A/C brought such primal joy. I munched on some Ice Cream and played a bit of Elden Ring which was a blast, and then tried watching some anime, but couldn't focus on the subtitles, so I threw on some of my favorite American cartoons, but found I still couldn't focus because I was in an intense state of introspection. At this point the introspection got uncomfortable because it was surrounding some trauma that I don't think I'll be getting a resolution to any time soon, so I started to post about my experience on the FXE thread, and well then it turned into more of a TR than a post so I decided to post it here instead.
But yeah, it was a great experience. The hole wasn't very visual but had a strong emotional element, I assume in large part due to the help of the 3-CL-PCP. There was also intense visual distortion going on as I came out of the hole and opened my eyes. I have yet to attempt a hole on FXE alone. Even then, I just happened to stumble upon this hole. Just sheer stupid luck that I decided to mix the 2 and smoke a joint. The experience led me to once again deactivate my Facebook which I use way too much. Social media really is the biggest time waster. My mantra for the experience was "Stop consuming, start creating", as in "Stop just using social media and watching TV. Spend your free time writing or drawing or making music.".
I'll never make progress towards those childhood dreams of making music If I keep only dreaming about it and never practicing it. I'm hoping that this lesson will stick and I'm able to fill up my free time in a way that will be more fulfilling in the end.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_3clpcp
substancecode_achs
substancecode_dissociatives
substancecode_buprenorphine
substancecode_opiates
substancecode_mxe
substancecode_phenibut
substancecode_gabapentinoids
substancecode_gabaergics
substancecode_stimulants
substancecode_4mtmp
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
roacode_oral
roacode_nasal
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