• LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

Pet Peeves ver. Fjones vs Redleader

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Surely someone who has had 3 or 4 pints, is technically drunk. So how do you get around that one?

What do you mean? The law is that a bartender may not serve soemone who is obviously or noticeably drunk. It doesn't say the bartender has to conduct a BAC test. Serving someone who is drunk but not obviously so, is acceptable. At least as I udnerstand the law.
 
Misuse of the word literally. People, the word LITERALLY means, LITERALLY! In other words, do not use it if you mean FIGURATIVELY! This should be fairly obvious and yet it is not.

Here is a perfect example. One of my favorite columnists has a piece where he quotes someone else's writing, as here: "With the entire team mired in a horrible offensive slump to start the year, Quentin literally carried the club and kept it afloat (along with solid pitching). His home runs always seemed to be in clutch moments when the team needed a lift."

I immediately created in my mind some sort of sarcastic interpretation of what Carlos Quentin can apparently do, but then when I read on I foudn that my favorite columnist beat me to the punch --

"Sorry, but first a pet peeve ... Quentin did not literally carry the club and keep it afloat. For him to have literally done that, he would have to have actually picked up the other 24 White Sox players, and then somehow actually kept them from sinking into some body of water (Lake Michigan?) or large pool. When someone doesn't actually do something, you just leave out the "literally" (and usually the "figuratively") and just assume the reader will know what you're being metaphorical. "

Rob Neyer, I love you. If you were a woman I would marry you. (Rob Neyer is the columnist who wrote the pet peeve part I just quoted).
 
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Misuse of the word literally. People, the word LITERALLY means, LITERALLY! In other words, do not use it if you mean FIGURATIVELY! This should be fairly obvious and yet it is not.

Here is a perfect example. One of my favorite columnists has a piece where he quotes someone else's writing, as here: "With the entire team mired in a horrible offensive slump to start the year, Quentin literally carried the club and kept it afloat (along with solid pitching). His home runs always seemed to be in clutch moments when the team needed a lift."

I immediately created in my mind some sort of sarcastic interpretation of what Carlos Quentin can apparently do, but then when I read on I foudn that my favorite columnist beat me to the punch --

"Sorry, but first a pet peeve ... Quentin did not literally carry the club and keep it afloat. For him to have literally done that, he would have to have actually picked up the other 24 White Sox players, and then somehow actually kept them from sinking into some body of water (Lake Michigan?) or large pool. When someone doesn't actually do something, you just leave out the "literally" (and usually the "figuratively") and just assume the reader will know what you're being metaphorical. "

Rob Neyer, I love you. If you were a woman I would marry you. (Rob Neyer is the columnist who wrote the pet peeve part I jsut quoted).

This just made my day.
 
Surely someone who has had 3 or 4 pints, is technically drunk. So how do you get around that one?


'Intoxicated patrons
Intoxicated patrons cannot be served liquor in licensed venues at any time. The law requires an intoxicated person to be refused entry or removed from the venue immediately. Licensees and bar staff face court fines of up to $11,100 and $1,100 penalty notices for intoxication offences.'

'How can I tell if someone is intoxicated?
Under the Liquor Act, a person is “intoxicated” if:


(a) the person’s speech, balance, co-ordination or behaviour is noticeably affected, and

(b) it is reasonable in the circumstances to believe that the affected speech, balance, co-ordination or behaviour is the result of the consumption of liquor. '

This is in Aus. Every bar tender needs to get their Responsible Service of Alcohol certificate, basically a bullshit certificate which doesn't tell you anything you don't already know.
 
Pat Sajak literally said that was his peeve one or two nights ago on Wheel of Fortune. Is that one of the shows in your magical 2 hour a week block fjones?

If it's on, I won't turn it off. But it's not really fun to watch solo and my new roommates do not watch it. I'll put jeopardy on from time to time.

What I need to do is figure out how be a contestant on wheel of fortune. Though, based on what I see when I watch it, I think they screen out the smart people somehow.
 
Okay, this one makes me want to throw my phone against the wall. Surely others have this same pet peeve as well.

Why the fuck do the makers of cell phones think I want to be interrupted in the middle of typing a text message so that I can read another text message? What the fuck???? I am typing out a message and it starts buzzing and brings up a different screen, ruining whatever word I was typing and forcing me to click a button once or twice to return to sending the message.

Why doesn't it just let me finish, and then alert me to a new message? I could understand it interrupting me because the phone is actually receiving a call (though that is still annoying as hell also), but why would they think an incoming text message, which is not going to be responded to live anyway, is important enough to interrupt one I am already sending?
 
Dude.

Life is a little too short. Have you considered dating? If that's a chore you can always use the other hand.

:)



My minor annoyance of the week:

I've been buying smokes again. I enjoy a cancer stick in the car. But I'm unable to ash in my ashtray, as it is in a slot directly behind the push-out cup holder in my console.

I always have a bottle or two of water in the car and that is where they belong.

:\
 
If it's on, I won't turn it off. But it's not really fun to watch solo and my new roommates do not watch it. I'll put jeopardy on from time to time.

What I need to do is figure out how be a contestant on wheel of fortune. Though, based on what I see when I watch it, I think they screen out the smart people somehow.

I'm think they let on a good puzzle-solver like 1/3 of the time. So much of that dumb game is "luck" (I'm pretty sure they control the wheel somehow ;)). Anyway, I'm sure the majority of getting on there is not freaking out being on TV and having a 'loud, excitable personality'. Honestly, I don't know how they just like pick people. 8) I don't know why I watch it.

I prefer Jeopardy but I'm usually busy when good ol' Alex is on (I sort of love/hate Alex too for his knowitallness :D).

Sorry for being all over the place in this post!
 
Fjones - I was a manager in a supermarket for 2 years and man - those employees are hopeless.
I had to come over about every 5mins because they didn't know how to work the registers even though I'd done a bigass tutorial with them - and they kept asking the SAME QUESTION! Fucking listen to me for once. If you don't understand ask me to explain again instead of nodding in agreement.
 
Have you ever taken a high school or University course in attempting to learn a foreign language, but felt like you learned such obscure subsets of that language that it will never actually be helpful? I have. For example, the place at which I did my undergrad required me to take an intensive year of a langage. I took German. Okay, so seriously the books progress kind of parallel with grammar topics and vocabulary. But the vocabulary, I mean come on!

Chapter 1: parts of an automobile, and I don't just mean like wheel and door.
Chapter 2: various types of buildings, " "
Chapter 3: indigenous animals to that country, " "
Chapter 4: parts of the body, " "
Chapter 5: various kitchen utensils, " "
Chapter 6: various types of food, " "
Chapter 7: various types of geological things, " "

Okay, so maybe I was in Germany and I ran over a mouse-squirrel, and it got stuck in my rear suspension. And then maybe if another car pulled over, they would have a wire-wisk, with which I could pry out the mouse-squirrel. Meanwhile, since a wire-wisk is terrible for such a process but it's the only word I know, it sprays the mouse-squirrel's bodyparts all over my car. I then notice a pastry-shop across the road, from which I order a collection of exotic pastries, which have names I know. So I can sit there and form sentences such as "I am pulling the mouse-squirrel's liver off of my car's muffler and placing it on top of a fruit tart to eat with a dinner fork, all while starring at the parliment house, the bank and the hospital there across the valley!"

A situation very likely to happen, indeed.
 
the best position at a supermarket is night-crew. the supervisors are more on your level(i.e. sleep deprived), and you have the store to yourself between about 8 other workers. much fun was had....
flakey people. and people that are only there for you when it's convenient for them and dont care otherwise.

yes. it's like, i've been calling your for the past 2 weeks. then when you finally return my call, you're gonna get all butthurt that i don't answer the phone?

i am notorious for flaking tho, but I always let them know at least a few hours in advance.
 
Have you ever taken a high school or University course in attempting to learn a foreign language, but felt like you learned such obscure subsets of that language that it will never actually be helpful? I have. For example, the place at which I did my undergrad required me to take an intensive year of a langage. I took German. Okay, so seriously the books progress kind of parallel with grammar topics and vocabulary. But the vocabulary, I mean come on!

Chapter 1: parts of an automobile, and I don't just mean like wheel and door.
Chapter 2: various types of buildings, " "
Chapter 3: indigenous animals to that country, " "
Chapter 4: parts of the body, " "
Chapter 5: various kitchen utensils, " "
Chapter 6: various types of food, " "
Chapter 7: various types of geological things, " "

Okay, so maybe I was in Germany and I ran over a mouse-squirrel, and it got stuck in my rear suspension. And then maybe if another car pulled over, they would have a wire-wisk, with which I could pry out the mouse-squirrel. Meanwhile, since a wire-wisk is terrible for such a process but it's the only word I know, it sprays the mouse-squirrel's bodyparts all over my car. I then notice a pastry-shop across the road, from which I order a collection of exotic pastries, which have names I know. So I can sit there and form sentences such as "I am pulling the mouse-squirrel's liver off of my car's muffler and placing it on top of a fruit tart to eat with a dinner fork, all while starring at the parliment house, the bank and the hospital there across the valley!"

A situation very likely to happen, indeed.

I was having a bad day but you just turned it around with this post. This is pure gold :)
 
The fucking bitch that wants to run my life becuz she thinks that my addiction is her problem. Any concern is appreciated. i told her i am happy she cares that much and that its nice of her to want to see me doin good. But she dont know dick about addiction. Her theory:

"Like, I just dont get it tho. YOU NEED TO STOP. You NEED to. And you cant!"

"I can stop. I have before, But. Right now, i aint ready to do it."

"Well if you COULD stop, you would do it RIGHT NOW, becuz you KNOW its BAD!"

"It dont work like that. I need to find it inside my self to quit totally, and until i make that inner change, any effort i make is in vain, and it aint gonna work. I know enough after tryin to quit 3 times already when i wasnt fully ready, that unless i am ready to put my all into it, I aint gonna stop."

"Well then you just need someone to MAKE you stop!"

"Nobody can make me stop. Its up to me."

"Yea, thats why you need to go to REHAB, becuz they can MAKE you stop there! Obviously you have a PROBLEM if you cant stop! If you could, you would already have did it, becuz if its so bad for you, and you KNOW its bad, then why cant you just STOP?"


"I been to rehab. It didnt make me stop. I need to do this shit on my own time and all i need from you is your support and understandin when i need somebody to talk to."


"So you should go to a DIFFERENT rehab! maybe the one you went to just wasnt the right one! I went to rehab once, and it made me a totally different person! (Note: She was 15, and she went to a Wilderness Program in arizona, because her mom caught her smoking weed. It was not for drug addiction, it was a "adolescents with bad attitudes" camp. Hardly a fuckin expert on the subject of drug rehab.)

"Listen yo, i aint goin to no fucking rehab. There aint nobody on this earth who can make me stop. I been with my man for 6 years, and almost losing him wasnt enough to make him stop. My mother gave birth to me and her tears wasnt enough to make me stop. If i aint doin it for me, I aint doin it, so as much as i really appreciate your concern, I got to be real with you and tell you that I aint stopping til I know I am ready. If i lie and say im ready when I aint i will just fail again, and I rather just be honest and say Im still using and I am cutting back til Im ready to really end my use, than lie to my self and others that I want to stop when I really dont, becuz i will never, ever be successful at stopping til I am ready inside my heart, you cant fake that, and you cant force it."

"But your just gonna get worse and worse! You cant control yourself! You dont have willpower, the drugs controlling you and telling you wat to do! You say youll stop if you go back on probation, but you WONT, cuz you cant stop when I TELL YOU TO! Youll just keep using and fail your piss tests and go to JAIL!"


(When i was on probation, i quit for five days every 2 weeks so i could pass my piss test. I have no problem controlling my use when it comes to shit like that.)

"Listen yo, at this point youre just too upset and worried to even really know wats goin on. Im glad to have a friend like you whose tryin to be involved in helping, but there aint nothing you personally can do. The best thing you can do for a addict that you care about is just be there for them , thats all."

"But I aint gonna LET you do this to yourself! Im gonna MAKE you stop, whether you want to or not. I dont care wat I have to do, cuz you dont even know wat youre doin, you are making bad decisions and I WANT THIS TO STOP! I dont understand why you dont just quit right now?!! If you say you can stop, then DO IT! If you dont do it, it means that you CANT STOP ON YOUR OWN. i already looked up rehabs for you to go to on the internet! They got a payment plan and charity care so that you can afford it! You need to do this, I dont like seeing you like this and its really upsetting me!"

"Yo, wat I need, is to search inside myself and find the turning point where I am ready to let go of this shit. Til then, I am gonna continue using, i have stopped using as much as i used to, i use less days out of the week, and i been spending less and less money on it, and copping in less shady places. i am doin a lot better than I was even 2 months ago, so give me some credit for that. Until then, I aint gonna be changing. change comes from inside, not from people outside pushing you."


"Well sometimes you just need somebody to FORCE you to stop becuz you CANT do it on your own! And youre in denial, you dont think you have a problem, obviously you dont think you have a problem if you think you can stop on your own, becuz if you could, you would have did it already, so that means YOU NEED ME TO MAKE YOU STOP.
"


I seriously want to shoot myself in the fucking head when i talk to this girl. The best part about it is, she told me, "yo, if you ever want to use just call me and we can chill and smoke. I want you to just smoke weed everytime you wanna use dope, so jsut give me a cal and Ill be there." smokin weed does help me alot with cravings n shit, and I usually grab that ish from her.

EVERY . FUCKING. TIME. That i call her when I am REALLY down and out, she aint there. One time I called her in the middle of having a panic attack SOBBING and cryin (I had never had this happen to me before and didnt know wat was going on, i didnt know it was a panic attack) and I begged her , yo , please, I dont know wat to do, I want to use to bad, I am loosing my mind, I am gonna go crazy, I feel like i will kill myself if i cant stop this feeling, please, please help me, please let me come over and just smoke one with you real quick or even just talk to me becuz Im flippin out"

she goes

"Oh, well, just dont use. Just think of something else. I mean, I was hanging out with my man and we were just tryin to have a relaxed night becuz he lost his job last week, so hes kind of stressed and I want to make him feel better, so were just drinking and smoking and I have homework to do, maybe we can chill tomorrow instead?"

becuz thats right, Im homicidal and suicidal and in the middle of a panic attack TOMORROW, and THATS when I need the help. Not RIGHT NOW THIS VERY SECOND becuz Im in the middle of some insane shit that i really need some help with now. Ill jsut put these feelings on pause til its convenient for you to help me.

So, then after like 8 times of her being too busy, or her phone bein off, or her just not answering, i stop calling her and just go get some dope instead, and then she calls me later like ARE YOU USING! IM SOOO MAD AT YOU! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME! YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA TRY AND GET CLEAN! WHY DIDNT YOU CALL ME?! Bitch i called you 5 times and you didnt pick up and the 6th time you had to walk your fucking dog or some gay shit like that, so dont get mad at me for the fact that you only talk about it but when the shit hits the fan you aitn nowhere to be found, until AFTER i use, and then you get mad at me and give me a 45 minute speech.

I fuckin hate her. I am always open to people in my life tryin to help but she is tryin to run my life, and then she disappears everytime the shit goes down she aint there, she just gets in the way and sticks her fuckin nose in my shit every chance she gets when i am actually doing good , and blows it outta proportion cuz i did 2 fuckin bags of dope when i used to do 30 every day.

Then, when me and my man was in the middle of a nasty ass fight, she tried to jump in the middle of it, when i asked her not to over and over. She disrespected me and went right into it instead, my man went off to go boot up and try and chill out and she fucking FOLLOWS him and goes IM GONNA TAKE THAT NEEDLE OUT OF YOUR HAND AND BREAK IT IF YOU TRY AND USE! Keep in mind its his last dose, and he got no more money or dope. This fuckin little cunt cant even listen when she FOLLOWED ME to my drug counseling meeting. They told her that it was nice of her to want to help but that the only thing she can do is try and be supportive, and that it aint up to her to change my life for me , and that it would be impossible for her to change me anyways.

So, she goes, "Wow, you know, i really dont think you should be going to those counselors, they are bad influences, i mean, they dont even think you need to stop right away, how could they be helping you if they aint making you quit? why are they letting you use?"


*FACEPALM*

Seriously, everytime I think of this i fucking rage. This girl believed, at age 19, that terodactyls (The bird dinosaur things) were ALIVE UNTIL 1987. She said that she SAW ONE FLYING OVER HER BACK YARD. A fucking EXTINCT DINOSAUR that been dead for thousands of years. she totally believed this shit. shes borderline retarded , that is how low her IQ is, and she is tryin to tell me all this shit. She said "How can you say I dont understand wat its like to be addicted to heroin? I KNOW WAT ITS LIKE! I UNDERSTAND! Wat dont I understand? Just becuz I think you should be able to stop using today becuz you need to just stop, that means I dont understand? I think YOU dont understand how hard it is to be me and watch you do drugs, becuz I am just telling you the right thing and you dont want to do it!"

its real sad to me but Im losing a friend over this. i cant let her do this to my life. i need to handle my own bizness, and she is hurting way more than helping. she aint helping at all, actually, just making shit way worse. So, now she can thank herself for the fact that she pushed me the fuck away with her constant need to control me. Fuckin bitch.
 
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Yeah. I withdraw from the domineering types. I'll put up with it at work, because it's all about the paycheck. But I will not put up with that in my personal life.

If she were smarter/more experienced/wiser she would probably find a way to show her concern and support that isn't so entirely counterproductive.
 
It's funny how far people can get in life thinking that browbeating someone is a valid way to change their opinion. Or without even the most basic of listening skills.
 
my biggest pet peeve right now is laughing as a defense mechanism.

it's ridiculous how bad it is at work. it seems like every conversation someone has is filled with non-stop laughter. everyone thinks they are a comedian.

the women are the worst because they don't just laugh, it's like they need to let everyone in the building know how good a time they are having so it ends up being closer to a yell. it drives me crazy.

this one guy laughs more based on the seniority of who is he talking to. his boss works next to me and whenever he talks to her he is laughing the entire time. but when i go over to his desk to ask him something he still makes an effort to appear happy but just expresses it through a constant smile.
 
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