last time i went to a girl, and paid for sex, she had her period as it was happening.
i went and saw one last night, which was a few months after (i've had sex since, but not with an escort) the last time i did this, and she had also just started her period.
both were red-haired.
this one had a statue of Jesus, and Mary i think.
i was having an issue contacting her once i reached the destination, and got a little mad at God, as my previous attempt that night i went and tried to meet the girl, and her phone went straight to voice-mail, and at this point i considered that "God was trying to send me a sign", that this isn't what i was supposed to do. i didn't care. i basically said "fuck you, God, i'm doing what i want... let me fuck up on my own.". i was horny. and don't like to be told what to do.
She finally got back with me. Her girlfriends were in and out, or something, and there was distraction.
Rachel was her name, but Samantha was the name she advertised herself as. She was really nice. I wasn't as attracted to her as the last one, but she kissed me first, after I put my hand on her stomach, and gently came in contact. I tasted chemicals on her, things I am sensitive to- That burn my skin, and cause headaches, but I didn't let it stop me. I kissed her back. And again. She said I looked familiar. She said my voice sounded familiar, on the phone. Maybe this is just something they do. She didn't seem very familiar to me, but then again, not unfamiliar. She reminded me of people. She seemed to enjoy her time with me, and didn't rush me out/away, after finishing me off. I can't say I'm the ugliest of guys, but this still made me feel alright.
I left, and got back to where I lived, and saw people standing outside of the main entrance of the block where my unit is- my neighbors, and a friend of one of theirs- a strawberry blond girl. Mostly blond, but her complexion seems to say red-head. Her hair is honey colored. My neighbor Gina was wearing a red dress. And my upstairs neighbor, who lives right above me, I have already forgotten his name, but he was standing beside Gina, also dressed up, in a nice blue shirt, and khakis. The honey color haired girl's dog growled at me, as I approached. She is a puppy. This is the first time she has growled at someone, the girl said. The dog didn't growl at the other guy. She continually showed aversion to me, and hid behind the girl. In my heart, I know that I am not "good", so I wasn't offended. I know that I may not be "good". But neither are people. I think I had a certain energy disruption at the time. It was hard to bring words to the surface. I was messed up from the chemicals I ingested. I let my self be "bad", with the girl I was with. She went down on me. I went into it knowing she was on her period, which gives me some issue, knowing beforehand- not that I think there is a direct issue, but I contemplate the teachings of some religions that say not to engage with a woman sexually while on their period. I wrestle. And with this girl, after other play, she went down on me, and I put my hand down her back, and my fingers on her ass. I "completed a circle", her mouth on me, and my hand, that I usually use on me, my fingers on her anus. Not in. But it was as if I took control, having them there. Then I came.
Something about me felt "evil", doing that, though not. Dark, perhaps.
So that the dog seemed nervous around me. The girl with the honey colored hair said, when I did finally pet her, that I am not evil, and I said "I wouldn't say that", trying to be light about it (that everyone is evil, but it's how good we can be that matters), and that "He's not Satan or anything", at some point.
Soon the dog started acting like she had to use the bathroom, or dispose of something. She was lifting her legs in ways, and pacing. It stopped for a moment, this activity. Nobody else seemed to notice, that that I noticed, until the dog threw up a little in the grass, next to us. The girl stood up, worried about her. The others seemed worried, too. The dog then threw up exactly where the girl was sitting.
Then the dog was fine, and stopped shaking, as it was, and even seemed a little less nervous around me. I wonder if I caused it, or if it was more something that she ate, or it if all just went together.
i went and saw one last night, which was a few months after (i've had sex since, but not with an escort) the last time i did this, and she had also just started her period.
both were red-haired.
this one had a statue of Jesus, and Mary i think.
i was having an issue contacting her once i reached the destination, and got a little mad at God, as my previous attempt that night i went and tried to meet the girl, and her phone went straight to voice-mail, and at this point i considered that "God was trying to send me a sign", that this isn't what i was supposed to do. i didn't care. i basically said "fuck you, God, i'm doing what i want... let me fuck up on my own.". i was horny. and don't like to be told what to do.
She finally got back with me. Her girlfriends were in and out, or something, and there was distraction.
Rachel was her name, but Samantha was the name she advertised herself as. She was really nice. I wasn't as attracted to her as the last one, but she kissed me first, after I put my hand on her stomach, and gently came in contact. I tasted chemicals on her, things I am sensitive to- That burn my skin, and cause headaches, but I didn't let it stop me. I kissed her back. And again. She said I looked familiar. She said my voice sounded familiar, on the phone. Maybe this is just something they do. She didn't seem very familiar to me, but then again, not unfamiliar. She reminded me of people. She seemed to enjoy her time with me, and didn't rush me out/away, after finishing me off. I can't say I'm the ugliest of guys, but this still made me feel alright.
I left, and got back to where I lived, and saw people standing outside of the main entrance of the block where my unit is- my neighbors, and a friend of one of theirs- a strawberry blond girl. Mostly blond, but her complexion seems to say red-head. Her hair is honey colored. My neighbor Gina was wearing a red dress. And my upstairs neighbor, who lives right above me, I have already forgotten his name, but he was standing beside Gina, also dressed up, in a nice blue shirt, and khakis. The honey color haired girl's dog growled at me, as I approached. She is a puppy. This is the first time she has growled at someone, the girl said. The dog didn't growl at the other guy. She continually showed aversion to me, and hid behind the girl. In my heart, I know that I am not "good", so I wasn't offended. I know that I may not be "good". But neither are people. I think I had a certain energy disruption at the time. It was hard to bring words to the surface. I was messed up from the chemicals I ingested. I let my self be "bad", with the girl I was with. She went down on me. I went into it knowing she was on her period, which gives me some issue, knowing beforehand- not that I think there is a direct issue, but I contemplate the teachings of some religions that say not to engage with a woman sexually while on their period. I wrestle. And with this girl, after other play, she went down on me, and I put my hand down her back, and my fingers on her ass. I "completed a circle", her mouth on me, and my hand, that I usually use on me, my fingers on her anus. Not in. But it was as if I took control, having them there. Then I came.
Something about me felt "evil", doing that, though not. Dark, perhaps.
So that the dog seemed nervous around me. The girl with the honey colored hair said, when I did finally pet her, that I am not evil, and I said "I wouldn't say that", trying to be light about it (that everyone is evil, but it's how good we can be that matters), and that "He's not Satan or anything", at some point.
Soon the dog started acting like she had to use the bathroom, or dispose of something. She was lifting her legs in ways, and pacing. It stopped for a moment, this activity. Nobody else seemed to notice, that that I noticed, until the dog threw up a little in the grass, next to us. The girl stood up, worried about her. The others seemed worried, too. The dog then threw up exactly where the girl was sitting.
Then the dog was fine, and stopped shaking, as it was, and even seemed a little less nervous around me. I wonder if I caused it, or if it was more something that she ate, or it if all just went together.