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Perfect Timing

jeebus13

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 20, 2003
Messages
134
Location
wherever the wind blows me
The sunrise rings in my ears
like crickets in a cemetery
and I start to remember
what caring feels like
and what you felt like lying beside me.

Dreams of a long lost mermaid
wash away
like the shore I lived on
with you years ago.

I can almost smell the chill
of that new autumn rain
as I stood shaking at your door
on the last night
I let myself love you...
And we used to laugh
at the sound of that rain,
fighting sleep away
and making love
until our eyes felt
as if they were burdens
and we would have
no more of them...
except the eyelashes
that kissed my back tenderly
in the dark.

You used to tell me
that Tori Amos,
growling like a tiger,
was the sound of hurt-
and finally I hear it too.

I guess saying
I should've held on tighter
would be redundant by now
but every tear whispers your name.

I wish I could've listened better.
that I hadn't
deafened my own ears
with shouts of anger and fear
but it took all these years
to hear what you spoke so simply,
"Can't you see me?
Have you ever bothered to look?"

And I can answer you now-
I always saw you,
but I was arrogant enough
to prefer the sight of myself.
Now the mirrors burn my eyes
and you're far away...
and, tragically, long ago.
 
very beautiful written i say this alot but i enjoy reading poems that touch my emotional side the best.
 
Wow. My fave bits as follows;

jeebus13 said:
Dreams of a long lost mermaid
wash away
like the shore I lived on
with you years ago.

This is quite amazing, the imagery you've used to make this idea of wind swept, and floaty love. I <3 it. :)

jeebus13 said:
until our eyes felt
as if they were burdens
and we would have
no more of them...
except the eyelashes
that kissed my back tenderly
in the dark.

This is breathtaking. I love the imagery here too. So easy and light and flowing yet thick with meaning and dripping with integrity.

Well done. =D
 
An exceptional piece of poetry. The way you convey a feeling of hard won wisdom and a slightly world weary air in the language of this piece is extremely skilful. :)

I guess saying
I should've held on tighter
would be redundant by now
but every tear whispers your name.

Very, very well written. :)

-plaz out-
 
wow

Glad I found this one down at the bottom of the page. It is lovely. I must agree with Plaz regarding the feeling of hard-won wisdom and world-weariness. You seem to have reached the point where you realise the value of what you have lost and also appreciate the change you had to hold it. Again, lovely work.

:)Smiley
 
uve SERIOUSLY brought tears to my eyes. that last line.. u just reminded me of everything i been thru with special someone(s) and u brought me right back there.. and i gotta say.. someone that is capable of doin that to me.. that someone, is nothin less that pure genius.

congratulations. wanna see more.
chrissy
 
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