People with HPPD/DP/DR, do your symptoms flare up in the winter?

[RobotRipping]

Maybe it's all the darkness, the cold, or the snow (which isn't covering my area yet) but it seems winter makes me feel fucking weird. I know i've associated winter with some shitty memories and too many withdrawals but i feel incredibly disconnected lately and dreams seem to blur with reality. It's like i'm high on DXM all the time except i haven't tripped on anything for quite a while.

I've noticed that i get visuals from snow all the time, it's like looking at a white wall for me, colours and patterns just start popping up. Not like intricate ones but fuzzy blobs of things, things distorting kind of like the visuals from a DXM trip actually.

I guess i can live with this, kind of makes me feel foggy and strange though. I just wonder if others like me with hppd/dp/dr experience the same thing when the winter season comes around, especially if it snows where you live.

Christmas time in particular is associated with chronic drug use, MXE last year, DXM many years before so maybe it's just that i've built up these associations of disconnection during this season, i'm not sure.

 

[Ozekat]

Damn, I had posted something and it didn't go through the first time, and I forgot.

Anyway, yeah I can relate. I have a little "friend" that appears in my field of vision. Its like a blue-to dark blue-to purple dot that will pop up from time to time....and usually more noticeable when against a white background. When I used to do lots of psychedelics (mostly LSD, shrooms) I think thats where it came from.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I think a good sweat would help you out lol, I love getting a good sweat going, maybe from running or just working (I have a hard labor job as a tire technician/mechanic) and I also chant, which will give me a good sweat if I do it wholeheartedly. Always feels really good.

Are you still using anything? I mean I really believe long-term sobriety would result in these symptoms mostly disappearing for good. Not that I can vouch very well for "long-term sobriety" myself. The most I can manage to do is like 2-3 days....its so damn hard for me to go any longer than that and not use. Its annoying as fuck, and I'm working on it but now I'm rambling lol, hope I shed a little light on your question.

 

[RobotRipping]

i actually find exercise really brings it out but takes my mind off of the visuals. It's not really a big deal, the hppd aspect anyway as i am quite used to tripping hard. The DP/DR kind of leaves you in a brain fog. I think i've found the culprit though, last month i did a few weeks at least (can barely remember really) of intense benzo use and now i'm at a mg or two of etizolam per day and i think i'm just suffering it out, each day it's getting better. Of course this makes sense as it feels exactly like benzo withdrawal.

I've been having the worst sleeps ever but my dreams are filled with insight as to why i feel shitty lately. I've actually been presented with a lot of issues that were kind of buried, like i was on a psychedelic or something. This to me is a sign of really losing my shit but luckily i was forced to slow down before completely losing it like i have before. A few more days of this strangeness and i should be done. Doesn't help that i quit opiates too a month ago and still get RLS at night.

I've done long periods of sobriety (long for me) about 6 months with no real change. Half way through my therapy i started using poppy tea and my therapist figured i was cured lol. I didn't really notice any improvements other than the poppy tea which was great the first month or so. When i feel stressed or anxious my symptoms really flare up and it doesn't really bother me too much but i definitely notice when objects distort in front of my eyes.

i think psychedelics are the culprit for me and a few nasty benzo withdrawals gave me the DP/DR. I was one of those people who got insane OEV and CEVs on almost any psych, to the point where many times i couldn't see ahead of me, it was just a mash of colours and patterns and such. So it's not a big surprise i'd be left with some residual visuals for a long time after. I haven't tripped in like 6 months either but after 8 years of tripping hard i think it had a huge impact on me, both positive and negative.

thanks for the reply, i appreciate it. Winter really messes with me, the snow, the long dark nights (get like 10 hours of sunlight a day here, most of which i sleep through) and the cold, shitty weather. The white snow has always been like an open canvas to me where visuals and patterns form everywhere, usually because of the sun hitting it i guess but it's pretty intense sometimes.