unwittingly, IAH, it was the only the raw windings of an epiphany.
it took much pain, the acceptance of pain for life, and in life in general, the acceptance of loss of my fond dwelling in love. the rawness of no human contact, or much anything but pain, an aching heart, clinical wasting combined with hunger, sleep depravation and hypersomnia, isolation from what comforted me -- all shut down those comforting senses of warming self diverting 'lies', accompanied by a swarm of seemingly punishing catch-22's.
this sent my mind swirling and coiling; left only with introspection; the devouring of information; acceptance and then realization of the schematic of my life came; i was finally able to see. the lies and dramas i chose to believe to comfort myself crashed down, or i also learned to disassemble thoughts and emotions, and still am shedding what masks me fom myself.
eventually i was lead to the Goddess Sophia, she is the premise of this, she accounts for, and had instilled early in me/us(?) much lumen in my life; or rather the the spark which i acknowledged the right fuel to light.
seeing the responses here, is another glimmer of this nature.
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