☮ Social ☮ PD Social Tripping Thread: Tripping Past 2020

[Deleted member 521610]

Hey, nice.
She Indian?

well yes lol.

 

[Bella Figura]

Open up those chakras bro :D

 

[Cream Gravy?]

I'm not sure where people draw the lines for a woman being too large for them. Physically I'm too thin to attract large women, be that short and thick or thin and tall, because all of them know they're heavier than me. My being over 6'1" is my only real advantage.

My wife is a bit heavier than me, which I like. All in the right places. And much like Xork's girlfriend I can't gain weight anyhow, biggest I've been was 145lbs when I was doing 100 push-ups every morning and eating 4-6k calories daily. I've been attracted to most body types at some point but I seem to attract short, white, slightly curvy women. They're the only type that actively hit on me once in a blue moon. Them and lots, lots of gay men think I'm ripe for conversion so to speak -_-

My wife looks over at what I'm typing on here sometimes, I think she's just happy I have something I talk to where I'm fully honest and feel no shame outside of just her. It's funny, Xorkoth and I have never met, yet when I discuss PD and say something like, "Awww man, such and such happened to Xork, I feel so bad for him," she'll know exactly who I'm talking about. In fact she probably knows most of y'alls' usernames if you frequent PD, I just like to jabber her ear off about our collective here.

 

[Cream Gravy?]

maybe thats why its called *blue*light. fucking feds, figures. when all my neighbors started putting up blue lights in their front lawn it should have been a sign

Damn dude this is a bit concerning... in that I don't think the FBI are watching you, it sounds more like the 'synchronicity' of ketamine afterglow when everything has 'meaning' and connections to you somehow.

I recall some time ago I noticed neighbors putting blue lights on their porches. It was in a meth-heavy area, people used it to signal I ended up finding out. Explains some of the weird shit they were up to at random hours lol

 

[Zephyn]

Nah she'd be flattered, She's super cool. She might say to me "no, mine's that nice" to which I would say "ye, yes it is". It would be a nice interaction.

She certainly know about my Bluelight, she just isn't the prying type. I wouldn't actually mind if she id check up on me on here.

Nice, I hope to have a healthy relationship like this one day

 

[Zephyn]

Damn dude this is a bit concerning... in that I don't think the FBI are watching you, it sounds more like the 'synchronicity' of ketamine afterglow when everything has 'meaning' and connections to you somehow.

I recall some time ago I noticed neighbors putting blue lights on their porches. It was in a meth-heavy area, people used it to signal I ended up finding out. Explains some of the weird shit they were up to at random hours lol

The blue lights was just a joke, I mean it happened but I think it was just being in the south and the whole BLM/ALM thing. No idea what it was for actually. Was really bizarre especially with the whole election. Seemed a political statement that obviously had nothing to do with me... Definitely wasn't tweaker or drug related in this neighborhood (a gated community with "blue lives matter" and Trump signs all over the place)

But the lyft driver, I mean could be synchronicity i guess but I double checked and that name is nowhere on my profile for lyft, or the cops who raped me :-/

 

[Cream Gravy?]

But the lyft driver, I mean could be synchronicity i guess but I double checked and that name is nowhere on my profile for lyft, or the cops who raped me :-/

I mean, that's some weird shit. But in the context of your life, what would even put you on the FBI's radar that many of us here don't also engage in? Small fries right?

 

[Buzz Lightbeer]

Yeah I feel you. Like not obese women, but women with very voluptuous curves. I can dig it.

Personally my girlfriend is ideal for my sense of hotness. She's thin (maybe even slightly more thin than is ideal but she has gidestive issues so it's hard for her), but she has the best curves, great hips, thighs, somewhere in large C/small D boobs, flat stomach, and gorgeous ass. Not a huge ass, I'm more into like this:

This is a lot like how my girl's ass and hips are. Its great. Not quite as small a waist but the butt and hip shape is pretty fucking close.

An ass man, I knew it!

 

[Zephyn]

I mean, that's some weird shit. But in the context of your life, what would even put you on the FBI's radar that many of us here don't also engage in? Small fries right?

I have no idea, they raided my house twice as a teenager but I was never charged, for some stupid petty hacking stuff, I have a friend who was busted by them for another political hack, but I don't think any of that would get me or keep me on their radar.

Dangerous ideas and words would be my best guess, if they actually are watching me. I just hope they'd realize by now I'm not planning on doing anything radical with my life, and am just trying to survive. And I have terrible opsec, because, they are just words.

The rape made me a lot more paranoid, I mean something like that doesn't just happen randomly, two cops assfucking you in handcuffs, or does it? Did i just get unlucky?

 

[ControlDaddy]

I have no idea, they raided my house twice as a teenager but I was never charged, for some stupid petty hacking stuff, I have a friend who was busted by them for another political hack, but I don't think any of that would get me or keep me on their radar.

Dangerous ideas and words would be my best guess, if they actually are watching me. I just hope they'd realize by now I'm not planning on doing anything radical with my life, and am just trying to survive. And I have terrible opsec, because, they are just words.

The rape made me a lot more paranoid, I mean something like that doesn't just happen randomly, two cops assfucking you in handcuffs, or does it? Did i just get unlucky?

I have picked up enough to make this call. No. That doesn't happen randomly it happens when two sociopaths start talking shop with each other. Making each other feel powerful, stroking each other's ego, devaluing previous assault victims together.

I think though, you might be asking if it the inverse of random, the inverse of unlucky. As in, was I targeted as a victim for some substantive reason. Am I way off on that?

 

[Zephyn]

I have picked up enough to make this call. No. That doesn't happen randomly it happens when two sociopaths start talking shop with each other. Making each other feel powerful, stroking each other's ego, devaluing previous assault victims together.

I think though, you might be asking if it the inverse of random, the inverse of unlucky. As in, was I targeted as a victim for some substantive reason. Am I way off on that?

Yeah, that's what I've been wondering for over a year now.

 

[Delsyd]

I'm not sure where people draw the lines for a woman being too large for them. Physically I'm too thin to attract large women, be that short and thick or thin and tall, because all of them know they're heavier than me. My being over 6'1" is my only real advantage.

My wife is a bit heavier than me, which I like. All in the right places. And much like Xork's girlfriend I can't gain weight anyhow, biggest I've been was 145lbs when I was doing 100 push-ups every morning and eating 4-6k calories daily. I've been attracted to most body types at some point but I seem to attract short, white, slightly curvy women. They're the only type that actively hit on me once in a blue moon. Them and lots, lots of gay men think I'm ripe for conversion so to speak -_-

My wife looks over at what I'm typing on here sometimes, I think she's just happy I have something I talk to where I'm fully honest and feel no shame outside of just her. It's funny, Xorkoth and I have never met, yet when I discuss PD and say something like, "Awww man, such and such happened to Xork, I feel so bad for him," she'll know exactly who I'm talking about. In fact she probably knows most of y'alls' usernames if you frequent PD, I just like to jabber her ear off about our collective here.

I was your same height and weight all through my 20's. In my 30's I started working out and eating better and as I got older my metabolism slowed down. I'm now a lean 180 lbs. Its probably not likely that you were eating 4-6k calories a day. For one that's is really hard to accomplish as a skinny guy and if you were eating that much you'd be gaining at least a couple pound's a week. Tracking calories is a pain in the ass tho and its why I cant seem to gain anymore weight than where I'm at right now. I probably eat 1.5-2k calories a day to maintain my weight and would need to double it to gain any weight because I burn a bunch calories at the gym in the morning. I'm still making progress at the gym but its slow because I just cant seem to eat enough (and I have low T).

As for women, I've always dated bigger girls, it doesn't bother me in the least. Women also tend to gain more weight as they get older, its a hormonal thing (men with higher Estrogen will gain more weight too). With my ex I thought I stopped being attracted to her because she gained weight, turns out I just didn't like her personality anymore because my current gf is slightly bigger and I find her very attractive and have a great sex life with her, but she's also my best friend and that makes the sex even better. Also I'm a tits guy and my gf has a great set. The nips point in the right direction and they're small enough to not sag much and big enough to be nice and squishy, I'm chubbin up just thinking about it, hehe.
But I'm really not picky. The last girl I slept with that wasn't my gf was a tiny little black girl with small boobs and ass, she was a friend of my room mate at that time, and I really enjoyed having sex with her too. I'm just not picky and I love sex. If I find something attractive about a girl I'm having sex with I just choose to focus on that.

 

[Vastness]

i could never be into overweight women i had sex with one in my like 20 people and was severely disappointed in myself. thats mean, but its how i felt

This happened to me to, it was my only one night stand type thing ever (actually... maybe the 2nd which was also disappointing for different reasons)... I was very drunk and she basically threw herself at me and I kind of knew I didn't want to go through with anything but, alas, I dunno, social expectations, my male ego, not getting any anywhere else...

I wondered if I could just tell her actually you know what sorry but this is a mistake when we got back to mine. I was cooked up too and honestly could barely even get hard. I don't know if the experience more disappointing for me or her. Actually, I was so inebriated and also kind of embarrassed about my performance that for some reason I invited her over again... this time I wasn't on any coke, but did require several bottles of wine to quash the bad feelings. But I did not feel good about myself after. She was a kind person, and I feel in a sense that my own difficulties were more related to my fragile ego and insecurities than anything else. But, thinking about it made me very depressed, I did not feel at all good about myself, and jokingly but privately to others I was mean about her in what I can only describe as a kind of frat bro childish bullshit dismissiveness about fucking an overweight and (to me) not physically attractive person, and that was wrong of me and I would not have done the same today but simply accepted the lessons I needed to learn from the experience.

Actually that was the last time I had sex and that must have been over 2 years ago now. Followed it up with several budding romances that I got too heavily invested in too soon, as is my habit, which failed and just sent me deeper into a dark place. I've been in a real rut for a good few years now in many ways.

I just reinstalled some dating apps the other day though as well as - in a fit of whimsical nostalgia - messaging some women from my past who may or may not have been happy to hear from me - and I've been chatting to one of them and a few new ones which is pretty cool and a reason to take better care of myself for sure. So who knows, maybe I'll break my epic dry spell soon, although I'm trying not to really think of it like that, regular sex is nice but not getting it is also not the end of the world, and in my view it should almost never be the primary objective in discovering an intimate connection with another human being.

I must say though I do really struggle with the emotional highs and lows of the dating game, I'm old enough and have enough experience that it shouldn't bother me as much as it does but I still consistently get way too invested too soon and then probably sabotage it unconsciously, or maybe it just doesn't work out for natural, organic reasons, and the emotional blow is difficult to manage. I've also never been good at dating more than one person at a time which I know is advised by some, typically I'll just get way overinvested in one of them and pretty lazy about the rest until they lose interest or, if they don't, getting too close seems kinda like a betrayal of some sort even though most of the time, none of them are as serious in reality as they are in my head and eventually they all fizzle, cue inevitable melancholy and regret.

But, I'm older and wiser now than I have been before, definitely more stable psychologically, maybe things will be different this time round.

 

[Cream Gravy?]

I'm just not picky and I love sex. If I find something attractive about a girl I'm having sex with I just choose to focus on that.

For sure man, tbh I'm a total slut. I'm glad my libido has slowed a bit and my self-control has gotten better, it's easier now to put sex out of my mind.

As for women, I've always dated bigger girls, it doesn't bother me in the least.

It doesn't bother me either, but I think most women get a complex in their head when it comes to men being smaller than they are. I mean as I age, they're easier, but I'm also aloof and wear a marriage band and not actively pursuing them either. Now that I think about it, getting married was the best thing ever for women becoming interested in me. Jokes on them, I'm a wreck lol, my poor wife must love me.

Its probably not likely that you were eating 4-6k calories a day. For one that's is really hard to accomplish as a skinny guy and if you were eating that much you'd be gaining at least a couple pound's a week.

This high point in my weight was at combat training with the military; I'm only guestimating calories but I was seriously pounding food. In the mornings after P.T. I'd eat two platefuls of carbs and proteins. Same at lunch. Same at dinner. Then we were forced to eat these 'power' bars full of calcium and shit as some last ditch effort to build our bones before lights out lol... too little too late.

I may get bigger in my thirties, but that's not long from now and while my father got bigger in his 30s, he doesn't suffer from this weird IBS disorder I do. As of right now, food is my enemy. Only strong benzos or opioids seem to tame the food so I'm holding at roughly 120lbs lately

 

[Delsyd]

Ah, I forgot you were in the military. You probably were eating that much and burning just as
According to my watch I’ve already burned 1600 calories today and all I’ve eaten is a protein shake with nowhere near that much calories.

My gf has a higher libido than I do. Her main complaint when it comes to sex is that we don’t have enough of it. We average once a week and go up to 3 or 4 on a good week. I’ve noticed the amount of sex we have is directly correlated to how much I masturbate. When I do it less we have more sex. I just have a hard time stopping myself from looking at porn. I had to change my Reddit account because I started following too many porn subs and my feed became mostly naked girls. Which is still handy when I’m on stims, hehe.

 

[Buzz Lightbeer]

I must say though I do really struggle with the emotional highs and lows of the dating game, I'm old enough and have enough experience that it shouldn't bother me as much as it does but I still consistently get way too invested too soon and then probably sabotage it unconsciously, or maybe it just doesn't work out for natural, organic reasons, and the emotional blow is difficult to manage.

Classic. Same here. But I got better over time and some experience.
Never had an actual relationship though, a couple that were solely sex, 24 this guy! I tend to fall solely for pretty extreme intelligence which essentially means I'm screwed.

Good luck man, don't get too carried away

 

[Xorkoth]

My libido has been so low lately, it's fucking with my head. I've been wondering if my testosterone has just fallen, as I am approaching 40. Also I was on opiates for a while and coming off now so hopefully it will rebound. I mean, my girlfriend has a low sex drive anymore, too (when we met we both had insane sex drives and had sex 2-6 times a day for the first year and a half, it was amazing. Like she'd wake me up in the middle of the night because she couldn't sleep and was horny). I miss those days... but really these days I'd e happy with sex a couple of times a week, which is more than I have it now, usually.

 

[cosmic charlie]

I think I just found a new girlfriend i mean I dont wanna count my chickens before they hatch. But the short and sexy girl is the Ticket she is a makeup artist and is already talking about how I can bang her when she is all done up and in her lingerie its hot as fuck, id Show you the pictures she is sending but dont wanna reveal her on drug forum or for her to ever find out about this place. My ex finding my Bluelight did cause a shit storm so I will be avoiding that in my next relationship. I mean this girl is on the same page and says she wants to start dating me also, she is has alot of followers on IG/tik tok her makeup she does is like straight up artwork honestly. I cant wait to Pop a viagra eat some LSD and spend a day banging this chick having her dressed up for me, lol

 

[Delsyd]

I had my testosterone tested a little over a year ago. If I remember correctly my levels were around the mid to low 300's, something like 330, which similar to a man in his 40's and 50's. Many years of drug abuse and poor diet with no exercise will do that. You're not considered clinically low until you dip below 300. I'm waiting till I'm 40 or have a baby, which ever comes first, and then hopping on T. Though I'll be shooting for TRT levels rather than steroid cycle levels. I'm hoping to do around 200mg a week split in to 2 doses, that should bring my levels up to a healthy range.
The main effects I'm noticing from low T is low energy and easy to slip in to depression. My libido is still there but my morning hard on isn't always around like it used to be. When it is there I make sure to take advantage of it and immediately start poking my gf as we cuddle up in the morning.

 

[Deleted member 521610]

Holy fuck that was some strong weed. I rolled a huge king size straight joint was super skunky and fruity sativa. My two new friends tapped out smoking anymore before even half the j was done so I had to rip the rest and I was tripping so fucking hard 9 hours later still feel a bit stonned had a nice sleep. Though I think I wont give this girl lsd though.

After seeing peoples reactions to skunk weed I don't think it would be smart for me to give them 100 ug. Maybe 50 ug would be okay. Plus they did not have faith in me that I was fine I was pretty stonned but I could still function algood. And they were sketching a bit at the park before we even got stonned let alone while smoking up lol. Had to tell them unis are chill in NZ I can jam music and smoke up wherever it's just weed no one gives a fuck so many people running around the park at night and I was right no 1 gave a fuck


I also could tell they have never smoked skunk or high quality weed before jesus my lungs are iron at smoking joints. Idk if I would do further with this girl maybe we will be friends. Fuck it was a trip I was on Jupiter tripping to the music. Tried to get them to eat aswell cause food makes everything better but they didnt I use to make the same mistake fasting cause I was embarrassed to eat fucked. In hindsight I should of rolled prob only a 1/4 of the joint. Got them the highest in their life lol. I would sometimes be forced to smoke solo entire king size j with my closest mate that it just became a normal sesh lol. Fuck I miss smoking with my bros cause they all were on the same vibe psychedelic trip from weed going hard to meditation on the music to enjoy the weed