Yesterday, maybe today?, marks 9 months alcohol free for me.
I've been kinda anxious and depressed lately though. Landlord has been threatening to kick us out to so that he can sell vacant... well too bad thats illegal bud. So we have been going back and forth and got an impending trial with the LTB (landlord tenant board).
So despite my alcohol free time Ive been escaping in other ways. Been smoking too much pot. Playing too man video games and bailing on work. The lost income only makes matters worse.
But a friend has been on about a mushroom trip and wanted me to join. Well, if I am to be honest I dont like mushrooms. I dont find them particularly forgiving. I feel like any nagging issues Ive been avoiding get thrown in my face in such a way that it becomes overwhelming... and I need to really be conscious of my thoughts and try to understand what I am being shown... otherwise its easy for my trip to turn sour and next thing ya know Im being mushroom slapped (lol)
Well I went ahead and tripped with him yesterday. It honestly wasnt an easy trip. But I didnt spiral down in to oblivion either. Ive got some work to do in a few areas of my life but I am so thankful for the insight.
Im hopefully that as I continue my return to a "proper" headspace I'll trip more, toke less and check off whats important to me in life rather than just escaping. I feel like Id enjoy my downtime so much more if I didnt have all this background noise
...
And I heard this song on Friday, before my trip yesterday.... I finally made it into work, 1/4's not bad, right right lol... and instead of cancelling my second client I ate some edibles and
this song came on ... idk why but it had me in tears.
So I picked up some more nano thc drops today and plan to use those more and smoke less. I dont like th eup, down/crash of smoking/vaping.
anyways stoned now
/ramble