tired of crap
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2009
- Messages
- 1,286
On Sunday morning I ate some DXM for the first time in likely 3 years. And maybe about a year since my last disso (tiletamine) experience (binge).
I split the dose as I often do, 400mg x2, the second dose was taken at t:1hr. I was already coming up on the first doseand my stomach was feeling wonky. 10 minutes later I puked... so 200 mg more and 10mg of thc nano emulsions followed, to help with the nausea.
Not long there after I turned off the video games and layed in bed listening to music. Edibles and dxm pairs so well for me; less nausea and more psychedlia. I laid, eyes closed watching the showing. Writhering in ecstasy. I can see why this used to be an adulterant in MDMA pills, I thought to myself (now I know not everyone reacts this way to dxm.. and I know its contradicted to mdma .. but I was high lol)
I did some yoga.... it was difficult but felt amazing.
At t5:30 I was functional enough to go for a walk in the woods. The rain seemed to wipe away layers of restraint, as once we had returned home I confided in my roommate about the struggles Id been having lately, my tendency towards sucidial ideations has become increasingly worrisome lately. I wont act on it but the relief the idea provides, as opposed to dealing with my housing/financial issues, seems like an easy out.
Journalling, music and some shows followed. We made dinner, though I hardly ate.
Trouble sleeping despite being exhausted.
Bit of a hangover the next day but have felt great since, though a bit apathetic (though thats nothing new)
The long tolerance reset (is that even possible with dissos? lol) didnt exactly bring back the magic I had hoped for but I feel like in a better mindset with another long break theres still hope.
I split the dose as I often do, 400mg x2, the second dose was taken at t:1hr. I was already coming up on the first doseand my stomach was feeling wonky. 10 minutes later I puked... so 200 mg more and 10mg of thc nano emulsions followed, to help with the nausea.
Not long there after I turned off the video games and layed in bed listening to music. Edibles and dxm pairs so well for me; less nausea and more psychedlia. I laid, eyes closed watching the showing. Writhering in ecstasy. I can see why this used to be an adulterant in MDMA pills, I thought to myself (now I know not everyone reacts this way to dxm.. and I know its contradicted to mdma .. but I was high lol)
I did some yoga.... it was difficult but felt amazing.
At t5:30 I was functional enough to go for a walk in the woods. The rain seemed to wipe away layers of restraint, as once we had returned home I confided in my roommate about the struggles Id been having lately, my tendency towards sucidial ideations has become increasingly worrisome lately. I wont act on it but the relief the idea provides, as opposed to dealing with my housing/financial issues, seems like an easy out.
Journalling, music and some shows followed. We made dinner, though I hardly ate.
Trouble sleeping despite being exhausted.
Bit of a hangover the next day but have felt great since, though a bit apathetic (though thats nothing new)
The long tolerance reset (is that even possible with dissos? lol) didnt exactly bring back the magic I had hoped for but I feel like in a better mindset with another long break theres still hope.