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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Thread: N-Dimensional Funhouse of Possibilities

Delsyd said:
And speaking of cars, I got my first car today, a Nissan Maxima. It's going to feel good not having to rely on people for rides anymore.
Click to expand...

Zoom on.

Also, I think Scooby-Doo has moved in next door. He's all like woooooooooowooowowowoowoowoowooof and stuff.
 
Haha, nice. Does he talk and like to smoke weed too? That would be a dead giveaway.

I've had my own car since I was 16... I literally can't imagine not having one. I mean if I lived in a big city with good public transportation I would probably use that mostly, but I'd still be unable to go outside the city at will. Basically with a car you can go anywhere at any time without relying on someone or something else (other than the car itself). Last night when I lost my car key I felt so helpless, like, oh shit, to get anywhere I'm gonna have to call a taxi or get a friend to pick me up.

So the rest of this week should be good... today might be a little boring but tomorrow I'm hanging out with this girl again, going over to her friend's house for a potluck and then maybe coming back here or to her place. Then Friday I'm doing MXE with good friends. Then Saturday and Sunday I should be hanging out with my lady friend again. Maybe for the last time... I haven't really wanted to ask her exactly when she's leaving yet but originally it was 2 weeks and that would be right after this weekend.
 
No, for 6 months. She's going to trim buds in northern Cali and also visit some friends. Yeah we've been having a good time for sure. Probably for the best though as I could see it developing into something more and I'm thinking I shouldn't be doing that right now (having relatively recently gotten single for the first time since I was 18, not even divorced all the way yet). We'll stay in touch and she'll be back in the Spring, we'll see what happens then. In the meantime I'll continue to be open to new connections with people because that's what this period in my life is all about.

I didn't really mean to develop feelings, but I guess that's what happens, I definitely really like this girl. It's still been really nice to experience, I certainly don't regret it at all. It's been good for me too, this is the first romantic-style connection I've had with anyone since my ex, and the second person I've ever had sex with in my life... got together with my ex at 18 and we were both virgins, and we split up 16 months ago (but she only moved out in February). So trying to move past that seemed really weird to me, but now I don't have to feel that way anymore.
 
That's good, I can see how difficult it would be to move past something like that. Hell, if it wasn't difficult you'd be one cold individual. It's hard for me to imagine being single again as well. Since I was 18 I've been in a serious relationship (two different ones, with almost no gap between), so I see where you're coming from.

I have big decisions to make soon regarding my relationship status. I'll be moving to Northern Cal/Southern Oregon in a few months and have to decide if I'm bringing my girlfriend with me. It's not an easy decision, I care about her but we've had our share of problems.
 
For me it was just one relationship which turned into marriage, together 12 years. I didn't think I'd be able to move past it. I also thought for SURE we would be together forever and that was hard to let go of. It was rough but I knew almost immediately after she moved out that it was the right thing because I felt like myself again within 2 weeks, which I hadn't felt in years. I felt 75% better so quickly, and I was still addicted to opiates at that point. It had gotten bad and was just wrong, for a couple of years, but I was unwilling to admit it. The relationship was draining my life, and hers too. It's sad because I love the person she is, and she loves the person I am, and we met and just wanted to be with those people. And we wanted only good things for each other, but over time we had the opposite effect and stifled each other into oblivion. But, I'm totally over it now, it's taken awhile but I'm so excited to be single and get to experience love all over again, this time knowing what I want and don't want. :)

Yeah those kinds of decisions are hard. I made the decision to move 700 miles away with my ex after we graduated college (we'd been together 3.5 years already and had already discussed wanting to be together forever). I don't regret it because I love my life here now but it was a difficult decision, and one that ultimately put more stress on our relationship.
 
Three days sober and feeling better and better every day =) I ended up using MXE 4 nights in a row when I got my order of course.. But didn't feel that bad after that this time thank god. Still have some left! Maybe I go crazy and go sober over the next weekend, but we'll see. Good thing I have some school rest of the week, those free days are getting boring, I need something to do.
 
DOC is my perfect stimulant, it beats the pants off dexamphetamine, but d-amp is really good too.

My ex called tonight... I hadn't spoken with her at all for about two months. She wanted to FaceTime with our cats. As soon as we switched to FaceTime and she saw my face, she burst out just bawling her eyes out. Choking, sobbing, she couldn't even speak for like 5 minutes. I asked her what was wrong and she said nothing I don't know about, and that she misses the cats insanely badly. It was really hard to watch, I honestly just wanted to give her a hug. She told me it's a really hard time for her right now and she's really struggling. I had talked to her sister recently and she told me that Leslie (my ex) seems to be doing a lot better (if any of you recall, she basically had a nervous breakdown at the end of our relationship where she was displaying psychotic symptoms). But I am not sure she really is. I mean she talks fine now and her face is expressive again but she seems REALLY sad. It breaks my heart, I really want for her what I have, which is peace and happiness. She continued to cry or quaver the whole conversation. It probably didn't help that our girl cat was taking a nap and didn't seem to want to be bothered to wake up to say hi. Fortunately our boy cat was very into it and nuzzling the phone over and over so that gave her something. I think she's worried they're going to forget her... it's been 7 months since she saw them. She said "I'm still your mommy kitties"... it was so sad. :(

Then for the first time since she left she just wanted to see and talk to me for a little while. I didn't want to tell her too much about what's been going on with me because it's such a polar opposite. I'm the happiest I've ever been and I didn't want to make her feel bad. She told me she feels so helpless and sad and misses the cats so bad and she can't talk to anyone about it. I told her she can always talk to me, and she seemed grateful for that but gave a sort of little wry smile like it didn't help. Then she cried some more. And then I was going to be late for something so she said bye, and she said "I love all of you", and I said "we love you too". I mean I do love her, I am just not in love with her anymore (at all). I'm a little afraid she still is, or maybe she's just holding on to the last time she was happy. I don't know. I feel really bad though. And I feel kind of guilty for being so happy. I know I shouldn't but I do a little. I really wish for her what I have, and I hope she finds it. Here I am, seeing someone else, and she's sitting at her mom's despairing and sad. I sure hope she doesn't still love me because it will just crush her even more to find out there is no chance of that.

It's just weird... I mean within 2 weeks of her moving out I KNEW it was the right thing and I was 50% better even though I was still on opiates. And now, 7 months later, I'm totally healed, but she's still sobbing uncontrollably. :( I wish she could be happy too.
 
That's really sad. But at the same time, you can't beat yourself up about it. You need to seek happiness in your own way, you can't live for others. You've made a lot of progress in your life and should be proud of it. In time she'll hopefully be able to truly move on and you'll both be better people for it.
 
Pretty dosed on some LSD :)
4th hour in...would it be a complete waste to make .8 shroom tea?
I know tolerance is an issue but, there just here. I figure better to try and to use as a potinator tea than dose .8 shrooms
 
I woke up this morning and my cat was acting weird... every single day he hounds me for breakfast and hangs out in the bathroom while I take a shower so he can lick the water off me. Today I found him hiding under the bed, not sleeping, and he won't purr when I pet him. I went to traffic court to get something dismissed, came back, and it's the same (I was hoping he was just taking a nap). In the past few years he has blocked 4 times (blocking is when a male cat's urethra which has a really narrow spot becomes blocked for various reasons, often dehydration and swelling, and they can't urinate... it will back up into their kidneys and is fatal in 24-48 hours). I thought I had it dealt with because he's on all prescription diet now. He was also on amitryptaline, which apparently has an anti-inflammatory action on the bladder. He's been on it for a couple of years and with the food and amitryptaline he hasn't blocked in a year and a half (the longest period by far since the first time). But this is pretty much how he acts when it's happening. The vet I go to changed staff including the actual veterinarian and the new vet thinks it's weird that he's on amitryptaline for his bladder, and wanted me to wean him off. I don't think it's a coincidence that a week after I got him totally off it, now this.

Fortunately he did pee a large amount a few minutes ago but he's walking around like his bladder hurts and he just went back to hide afterwards. And for him to not want to eat, something is WRONG. He's the hungriest cat ever. Something is totally not right and I'm so scared that's what it is. The soonest the vet can see him is 3:30 because they have a surgery scheduled.

I'm also a couple of months late on his re-vaccination for feline distemper... I was googling it and depression and painful guts are the first symptoms so now I'm scared about that too. But mostly I'm scared that between now and 3:30 (5 hours) he is going to actually block. If they catch it before he blocks then they give him urine acidifiers and stuff and a shot and he probably won't need to be hospitalized but if he blocks then it costs me about $700 and is a big deal. And I don't have $700 extra and I already owe my vet money STILL from the other 4 times and I don't think they will help me if I can't pay up front. So if that happens then I don't know... I can't let my baby die though. :(

It's scary how fast this stuff happens... yesterday he was running around, begging for food all day long, snuggling with me. Even in the middle of the night he was sweetly snuggling on my chest and asking for food when I got up to pee.

Fuck. Not this again... I love my cats SO MUCH, this is so intense.
 
dude that is scary. it could possibly be just withdrawal effects from stopping the amitriptyline, but yeah definitely best to take him to the vet if you can afford it. sending positive thoughts his way. :)
 
Thanks man. No not withdrawal, I weaned him really slowly, last 5 doses were 5 days apart each. He's started throwing up now. I am actually kind of seriously wondering if it's distemper now, he's a couple of months late on his re-vaccination and the symptoms match. And they develop extremely suddenly too. And my lady friend lives with some cats who are basically wild and have no vaccinations or anything. If so then he'll probably be fine but will need to be hospitalized so he can stay hydrated through IV fluids, up to 5 days and then it usually clears. I also got a stool sample and if it is then it will be riddled with the virus so that's an easy way to tell. Distemper is generally only fatal in kittens and my cat is 9 1/2 years old. 3 hours to go til the vet... well, 2.5 until I can start to bring him there.

What a fucking day... it was supposed to be all good things. I guess sometimes it doesn't work out that way.
 
Aww shit man, so sorry to hear that! It's terrible when pets get sick because they can't tell you what's wrong so you can't tell if it's serious or something minor! I hope all the best for you and your kitty! Thankfully my little guy is almost auto functioning, only thing he's bad at is getting into fights with neighborhood/wild animals because he's a nut. He always gets a bit mangled and ends up with an infection. Hasn't happened in a pretty long time thankfully, but he's getting to be an old man now though, just about crazy as ever though.
 
Thanks man. He's not hiding anymore but it might just be to get to the litter box easier. I haven't caught him using it again since this morning when he peed a large volume so I undocked my laptop and I'm working right next to him now so I can catch him. He's gone in there at least twice and there is this weird, goopy stuff that doesn't smell like anything in there when he's done. I only heard him throw up once and that was just bubbles and spit, and he never throws up in the litterbox anyway but I got a sample of the goopy stuff. He's being super quiet and not really responding when I pet him except to turn his head slightly toward me. He's clearly in pain. I feel a little better now, I was filled with dread earlier but I think it's most likely not the urinary issue. It might be distemper but that's a one-time thing that he will survive (according to Google). The urinary/blocking issue would be worst case because it's recurred so much and I thought it was over. He could also just have the kitty flu or food poisoning or something, that would be best case. Either way he'll probably stay overnight I'm guessing so they can monitor him and give him fluids (if he gets dehydrated that's a quick path to urinary blockage).
 
AH ha, he peed again and I caught it in a dish so I have a urine sample! And it's a decent amount too and it came out right away.

It's ridiculous how much I love this guy. He's my baby, I don't even know what I'd do if something happened to him. But I'm feeling better about this. And the vet appt is pretty soon now.
 
I hope the appointment goes well, I know how stressful it is when something is wrong with one of your kitties. Earlier this year I had to take one of mine to a feline cardiologist and now he's on beta blockers.
 
Sorry to hear about Stripey Xork. I hope he's okay.
I'm curious, do you think your cats really realize its Leslie on the other end of the phone? Or was he nuzzling it because nuzzling stuff feels good.
I put my dogs on face time when Erin is away but I don't think they realize it's her.
It may be different with cats.

Also you shouldn't feel bad about feeling good after the split. You feel good because it was the right thing for you to do.
 
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